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Pallf

I'm tired
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
207
When you're a kid, you have teachers and parents asking you what you want to be when you grow up. As you age, your dreams change and become less outlandish. I've noticed with me that by giving up on dreams I'm becoming more mentally healthy.
My dream for years was to be a lawyer. I wanted to help people out with law issues and make money. But it's been a hard 6 years and I'm giving that dream up. There are too many variables to worry about, like getting into a top law school, and the possibility of failing, and debt. So for me, I've decided to curb my dreams to something attainable. I can hear my therapist worried about me giving up on dreams, but I could persuade her by announcing that if I enroll and fail out of law school i will ctb. It's not even a question. She probably wouldn't like it, but she vastly prefers me to be alive rather than dead.
Anyway I wanted to jot this down and see if anyone else has any thoughts about this.
 
Inkling

Inkling

Member
Joined
Mar 10, 2021
Messages
16
I'm the opposite, where holding on to a couple of hopes, even if impossible to attain, is what keeps me going. Barely of course, they do more harm than good to my self-esteem and stress. But at least I can aim for something.

I will say though, most of my friends share your sentiment, as they downscalled to what was doable, they became more content with life, which is reasonable. Sometimes we lose sight of what's important with our obsessions.
 
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timf

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
426
Dreams can be useful, but they always risk running into reality. For example as a lawyer you may find that you increasingly dislike the people you have as clients as well as the people and institutions you have to work with.

It may not be a binary choice between giving up on a dream or pursuing it no matter what. If you keep some flexibility, you might be able to adapt your dreams to new circumstances or modify them as your priorities change.
 
Rhaiyne

Rhaiyne

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2021
Messages
34
Hhhmmmm... this is interesting... i pursued a similar dream... i worked hard... got my dream only for me to realise that all wasn't what it seemed to be. I became a number who could generate profit. When i wanted to offer someone a few hours of work pro bono i was told the company is not a charity. It broke me when i realised i would need to give up all i had worked for in order to maintain a sense of humanity.
However, don't not pursue a dream due to fear of failure. Rather find where that fear stems from and try fix that.
If this is what you have always wanted... then go for it. Don't let fear stop you.
I wish you all the best...
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Average ctb enjoyer
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
3,793
I don't even dream when I'm sleeping.
 
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Luchs

Luchs

kristallene Bergluft über verfallener Gruft
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
412
Pallf said:
When you're a kid, you have teachers and parents asking you what you want to be when you grow up. As you age, your dreams change and become less outlandish. I've noticed with me that by giving up on dreams I'm becoming more mentally healthy.
My dream for years was to be a lawyer. I wanted to help people out with law issues and make money. But it's been a hard 6 years and I'm giving that dream up. There are too many variables to worry about, like getting into a top law school, and the possibility of failing, and debt. So for me, I've decided to curb my dreams to something attainable. I can hear my therapist worried about me giving up on dreams, but I could persuade her by announcing that if I enroll and fail out of law school i will ctb. It's not even a question. She probably wouldn't like it, but she vastly prefers me to be alive rather than dead.
Anyway I wanted to jot this down and see if anyone else has any thoughts about this.
The song eye of the tiger comes to mind. I definetly agree. As I grow older I lose all of the childlike joy and dreams, which were the things that gave my life happiness and a sense of direction.
 
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