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Sherri

Sherri

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5,884
The number of guests sure went down. Maybe that’s a good thing.
 
tlsnih

tlsnih

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Jan 15, 2021
Messages
40
What is F26? EDIT: nvm – figured this out

Also, seems the .com site is finally down for me – when did it happen? (I wasn't on here much this weekend)
 
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EraseRewind

EraseRewind

Student
Joined
May 13, 2020
Messages
150
Without this site to openly communicate my issues and vent, my life would have been over. I’m always saddened to hear that someone has lost their battle against their own minds but the sad truth is that I attempted suicide three times before I even knew about this site.

Since coming here I have managed to go for the longest time without an attempt and that is in part due to the freedom to come here.

I hope that this site can continue, you guys who run and mod the site must be under increasing and incredible pressure to close down as the world looks for an answer for their losses.

Thank you for all you do.
 
Mew

Mew

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Joined
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Messages
609
EraseRewind said:
Without this site to openly communicate my issues and vent, my life would have been over. I’m always saddened to hear that someone has lost their battle against their own minds but the sad truth is that I attempted suicide three times before I even knew about this site.

Since coming here I have managed to go for the longest time without an attempt and that is in part due to the freedom to come here.

I hope that this site can continue, you guys who run and mod the site must be under increasing and incredible pressure to close down as the world looks for an answer for their losses.

Thank you for all you do.
I agree. Its sad how people will want to blame this site for people committing sucide instead of pointing the finger at themselves. So many people are abusers, bullies, abusive parents, and just shitty people who drive people to suicide. They should look at themslelves, but nobody wants to think of themselves as being so heinous. But the reality is that many are.
 
omoidarui

omoidarui

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847
MrAsclepius said:
Sorry if this has already been answered, I don't have the willpower to read through all this thread..

Has anyone confirmed that this person actually has a son who passed and was on this website? I'm not saying anyone is a liar, just wondering if all this is due to an actual loss and not just another accusatory troll on the bus.
Yes, the person’s son’s name was @head full of static
 
Avyn

Avyn

ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ...
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Messages
152
NomoreNormalcyHere said:
I agree. Its sad how people will want to blame this site for people committing sucide instead of pointing the finger at themselves. So many people are abusers, bullies, abusive parents, and just shitty people who drive people to suicide. They should look at themslelves, but nobody wants to think of themselves as being so heinous. But the reality is that many are.
I agree. They always try to find something or someone to blame for their child committing suicide. They will never look at themselves and realize their parenting might have been bad, no that is out of the question. It's very sad that most children have to grow up this way
 
Mew

Mew

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Avyn said:
I agree. They always try to find something or someone to blame for their child committing suicide. They will never look at themselves and realize their parenting might have been bad, no that is out of the question. It's very sad that most children have to grow up this way
The minute we can look inwards and take accountability for our actions the better people we can become. Though I say this openly and god knows I struggle with this as well.
 
Avyn

Avyn

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NomoreNormalcyHere said:
The minute we can look inwards and take accountability for our actions the better people we can become. Though I say this openly and god knows I struggle with this as well.
All we can do when growing up with such parents is think to ourselves and say "I don't want to be like that in the future! I don't want to treat my future children this way!"

Sadly, in some cases, children become the same as their mothers and fathers, and the others try not to be this way since they know how shit it feels to be treated poorly and with disrespect. I have also asked myself many times - do I want a child? Still to this day I am not sure. High probably not since I don't want to risk treating the poor little thing the same way my parents treated me.

We will always struggle with this, we had to deal with this for a very long time. The memories will never go away
 
Mew

Mew

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Avyn said:
All we can do when growing up with such parents is think to ourselves and say "I don't want to be like that in the future! I don't want to treat my future children this way!"

Sadly, in some cases, children become the same as their mothers and fathers, and the others try not to be this way since they know how shit it feels to be treated poorly and with disrespect. I have also asked myself many times - do I want a child? Still to this day I am not sure. High probably not since I don't want to risk treating the poor little thing the same way my parents treated me.

We will always struggle with this, we had to deal with this for a very long time. The memories will never go away
I struggle with this. Even if you see how horrible the abuse was and are destined to not become like your parents, we can develop FLEAS. A term for carrying traits of the abuse into your own life. I definetly have behaviors that remind me of my mom and I hate myself for it. I know I should be doing better but thats what happens when abuse was the norm for a long time (still is in my case).

My mom had one chance together therapy. And she blew it. It was "too tough" and she gave up after the first meeting. How thins could have changed for the better had she tried. But I'll never know what that reality is like
 
Avyn

Avyn

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NomoreNormalcyHere said:
I struggle with this. Even if you see how horrible the abuse was and are destined to not become like your parents, we can develop FLEAS. A term for carrying traits of the abuse into your own life. I definetly have behaviors that remind me of my mom and I hate myself for it. I know I should be doing better but thats what happens when abuse was the norm for a long time (still is in my case).

My mom had one chance together therapy. And she blew it. It was "too tough" and she gave up after the first meeting. How thins could have changed for the better had she tried. But I'll never know what that reality is like
At least compared to her, you know your mistakes and problems. It is very hard to acknowledge that for some.
I have noticed I have some traits my mother has aswell, it is normal.. You really shouldn't put yourself down like this and hate yourself, you sadly couldn't have chosen your life, lets not mention choosing your parents. Treat yourself with respect and try to love yourself more. You're a survivor and didn't give up despite what you are going through and went through.
I try to tell this to myself every time..
 
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Mew

Mew

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Avyn said:
At least compared to her, you know your mistakes and problems. It is very hard to acknowledge that for some.
I have noticed I have some traits my mother has aswell, it is normal.. You really shouldn't put yourself down like this and hate yourself, you sadly couldn't have chosen your life, lets not mention choosing your parents. Treat yourself with respect and try to love yourself more. You're a survivor and didn't give up despite what you are going through and went through.
I try to tell this to myself every time..
Thank you. we both need encouragement. As of late I've been feeling sort of happy. I've been getting into writing about my suicide as a means of self expression. I hope it goes somewhere
 
Avyn

Avyn

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NomoreNormalcyHere said:
Thank you. we both need encouragement. As of late I've been feeling sort of happy. I've been getting into writing about my suicide as a means of self expression. I hope it goes somewhere
Writing and talking about your thoughts, experiences helps more than you think. You can write a story and post it here I'm sure we would enjoy reading it ( I saw you make a post earlier, it was very good and I thought its real haha <3) I hope your happiness lasts forever and that there's no sadness in your life anymore, which is sadly not gonna happen... But hey, you can do it! We can all fight this together.
 
Avyn

Avyn

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Daisy said:
Seems like Sharon Luft deleted all her tweets about SS. Could it mean that she's moving on?
Wait really?
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Just dont. I dont want to hear it
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Daisy said:
Seems like Sharon Luft deleted all her tweets about SS. Could it mean that she's moving on?
with us recently going into hiding i doubt it. by doing what we did it shows them as "winning" now would be a stupid time to back down. i wonder whats up her sleeve though
 
aneurysm

aneurysm

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Messages
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Life_and_Death said:
. i wonder whats up her sleeve though

Maybe she is emotionally mature and realized her initial reaction was a bit selfish and threatening to individual liberties and the 1A. Maybe she read your posts about how SS has been helpful to many of you and it changed her mind.

I might be delusional, but I think she comes off as more mature/intelligent than the Bieber lady.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Just dont. I dont want to hear it
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Messages
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Daisy said:
Maybe she is emotionally mature and realized her initial reaction was a bit selfish and threatening to individual liberties and the 1A. Maybe she read your posts about how SS has been helpful to many of you and it changed her mind.

I might be delusional, but I think she comes off as less unreasonable than the Bieber lady.
i guess we'll have to wait and see
 
I

Isitmytime

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Jan 26, 2021
Messages
58
Avyn said:
All we can do when growing up with such parents is think to ourselves and say "I don't want to be like that in the future! I don't want to treat my future children this way!"

Sadly, in some cases, children become the same as their mothers and fathers, and the others try not to be this way since they know how shit it feels to be treated poorly and with disrespect. I have also asked myself many times - do I want a child? Still to this day I am not sure. High probably not since I don't want to risk treating the poor little thing the same way my parents treated me.

We will always struggle with this, we had to deal with this for a very long time. The memories will never go away
I repressed the memories for decades, trying desperately to normalize what happened. But they came back as emotional flashbacks and I had no idea what was happening to me. In my final major crisis, I was praying to God to please kill me on the spot, 'cause it felt unbearable. I felt completely out of control and helpless. I tried therapy for a short while, but I couldn't afford it any more. But it gave me a starting point to process what happened. And I started reading... and reading. There is this wonderful therapist on youtube, also. She dedicated herself to raising awareness about such abuse and it was very helpful for me. What I want to say is, don't assume that the unhealthy patterns cannot be changed. It takes time, but it can be done. Don't hate yourself for it, it's not your fault and the first sign you are not like them is you see something is not right. That is something they are not capable of, and that is the reason I am so upset with parents that are oblivious to their child's needs, even if they are not abusive per se. It doesn't mean a child needs to be spoiled, on the contrary. Healthy boundaries, validation and the feeling that they are good enough - that's what kids need. Not the latest iPhone. Sadly, it left me with a deep seated fear of abandonement which I cannot seem to shake. And it sabotaged my whole life. I've built myself a life and it went ok, for awhile. But suddenly things started to fall apart... everything, all at once. Not my direct fault, just a string of unfortunate events. And the depression that kept coming and going in waves kicked in like never before. And I started to remember. And I saw all the ways I sabotaged myself for so many years. I am still blaming myself for it - how could I be so stupid? For my own good, I made peace with my parents, although I keep my distance to protect myself. It helped me build my self-esteem: I am better than that, I can see myself, and them, and not feel rage. I am still fighting, because I just don't want them to win like this, not now, not today. Trouble is, when you are all by yourself it's almost impossible and reaching out... also not a good option when this world is so taxing on vulnerabilities. One of my reasons for ctb is I'd rather die than continue living feeling like that. I try to find balance, but there's a limit. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted people to know what abuse does, and this is just a fraction. To the ones that have people who love them I say: maybe you can find another way, for your loved ones. It's worth it. I only have my pets, at least for now, and I'd rather not be the one to abandon them. In the end, at least you tried your best.
 
tlsnih

tlsnih

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2021
Messages
40
Daisy said:
Maybe she is emotionally mature and realized her initial reaction was a bit selfish and threatening to individual liberties and the 1A. Maybe she read your posts about how SS has been helpful to many of you and it changed her mind.

I might be delusional, but I think she comes off as more mature/intelligent than the Bieber lady.
Nah I reckon she's been told by anti-suicide charities that her tweets were giving us oxygen and driving new members towards us
 
Mew

Mew

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Messages
609
Isitmytime said:
I repressed the memories for decades, trying desperately to normalize what happened. But they came back as emotional flashbacks and I had no idea what was happening to me. In my final major crisis, I was praying to God to please kill me on the spot, 'cause it felt unbearable. I felt completely out of control and helpless. I tried therapy for a short while, but I couldn't afford it any more. But it gave me a starting point to process what happened. And I started reading... and reading. There is this wonderful therapist on youtube, also. She dedicated herself to raising awareness about such abuse and it was very helpful for me. What I want to say is, don't assume that the unhealthy patterns cannot be changed. It takes time, but it can be done. Don't hate yourself for it, it's not your fault and the first sign you are not like them is you see something is not right. That is something they are not capable of, and that is the reason I am so upset with parents that are oblivious to their child's needs, even if they are not abusive per se. It doesn't mean a child needs to be spoiled, on the contrary. Healthy boundaries, validation and the feeling that they are good enough - that's what kids need. Not the latest iPhone. Sadly, it left me with a deep seated fear of abandonement which I cannot seem to shake. And it sabotaged my whole life. I've built myself a life and it went ok, for awhile. But suddenly things started to fall apart... everything, all at once. Not my direct fault, just a string of unfortunate events. And the depression that kept coming and going in waves kicked in like never before. And I started to remember. And I saw all the ways I sabotaged myself for so many years. I am still blaming myself for it - how could I be so stupid? For my own good, I made peace with my parents, although I keep my distance to protect myself. It helped me build my self-esteem: I am better than that, I can see myself, and them, and not feel rage. I am still fighting, because I just don't want them to win like this, not now, not today. Trouble is, when you are all by yourself it's almost impossible and reaching out... also not a good option when this world is so taxing on vulnerabilities. One of my reasons for ctb is I'd rather die than continue living feeling like that. I try to find balance, but there's a limit. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted people to know what abuse does, and this is just a fraction. To the ones that have people who love them I say: maybe you can find another way, for your loved ones. It's worth it. I only have my pets, at least for now, and I'd rather not be the one to abandon them. In the end, at least you tried your best.
I wish I could make peace with my father for enabling my moms abuse towards me
 
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Isitmytime

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NomoreNormalcyHere said:
I wish I could make peace with my father for enabling my moms abuse towards me
They call it "radical acceptance". Not accepting what they did, but the idea that they didn't know any better and couldn't change. It helps keeping your emotions in check while not accepting blame, gaslighting, etc. and learn to set boundaries. It could shift your focus from self-blame or self-pity to ways that could work for you to feel better about yourself. Not sure it makes sense, I am just self-taught...
 
Mew

Mew

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Isitmytime said:
They call it "radical acceptance". Not accepting what they did, but the idea that they didn't know any better and couldn't change. It helps keeping your emotions in check while not accepting blame, gaslighting, etc. and learn to set boundaries. It could shift your focus from self-blame or self-pity to ways that could work for you to feel better about yourself. Not sure it makes sense, I am just self-taught...
I think you self-taught yourself well! I mean deep down I know my dad is very flawed. I know about his past and I know he is limited. Still, I wish he did more because if so things could have been different. I just feel like he doesnt get me. Doesn't help that we live together too :/
 
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D

DJJE

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57
I read through a lot of her comments, and the group might not be as far appart from her as it first appears.

I really don't agree with telling people methods, but accept they will just find it elsewhere, and I don't like the goodbye threads. The most important thing for those in the UK is to be aware that even though you think you might be helping, you can never have all the facts on a forum, and could go to prison for making certain comments. People from the UK should avoid those topics.

She did mention that having an open uncensored forum to discuss how they are feeling and what they are going through. I've found this forum helpful for that. Knowing I'm not the only one thinking the way I do is helpful. Knowing that I won't get sectioned for saying the wrong thing makes this the only safe space I've got any confidence in.

Sadly she thinks re-training NHS staff will help. It won't they are useless. Training just means they get to line their pockets whilst not seeing patients. It will still be the same old shit, chuck them a few drugs, recommend an app, put them on a waiting list and never be on time for appointments. Take away any right of reply by claiming you have mental difficulties so your view isn't important.
 
C

Cuppatea856

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Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
25
Meretlein said:
Fixthe26 likes to say how they are not against the right to die, just SS having the conversation. Their tweets contradict this. They will only be happy if there is no information on how to peacefully end one's life. At best they believe someone should beg and grovel at a doctor's feet to end their suffering.

Kelli also said in an interview that she believes that reddit shouldn't be able to have platforms like r/suicidewatch. She wants to kill confidential support for suicidal thoughts. Her most recent tweets involve making the internet less anonymous. All of her proposed policies will effect the internet in a profound way. Utilizing those idea to shut down SS is like using a cannon to kill a mosquito. We are seeing a common theme play out here, using the guise of "protecting people" as a trojan horse to erode privacy and liberty.
I was just looking at SN on Amazon. When I checked last summer, there were numerous sellers. Thats no longer the case. And what really pissed me off is all kinds of people now leaving comments about how their relatives used this to ctb, therefore it should no longer be sold. Another reviewer that I upvoted stated if you’re going to stop selling this, then stop selling bleach, gasoline, etc.
Don’t people get that if you’re desperate enough you’ll do anything? Train tracks nearby, tall buildings/bridges, hell, I could get in my car and go over a cliff. i want them all to stay out of my life. Come on in and live, like I do, with hardcore bipolar disorder, or the fact that I’ve lost the 3 people I’m closest to in this world in the past 3 years. Try living with no money in the bank due to unemployment and medical bills.
They all seem to come from a very privileged position, where they just can’t even walk in another persons shoes for one day, much less a lifetime. I’m just feeling really pissed off about this.
 

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Avyn

Avyn

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Cuppatea856 said:
I was just looking at SN on Amazon. When I checked last summer, there were numerous sellers. Thats no longer the case. And what really pissed me off is all kinds of people now leaving comments about how their relatives used this to ctb, therefore it should no longer be sold. Another reviewer that I upvoted stated if you’re going to stop selling this, then stop selling bleach, gasoline, etc.
Don’t people get that if you’re desperate enough you’ll do anything? Train tracks nearby, tall buildings/bridges, hell, I could get in my car and go over a cliff. i want them all to stay out of my life. Come on in and live, like I do, with hardcore bipolar disorder, or the fact that I’ve lost the 3 people I’m closest to in this world in the past 3 years. Try living with no money in the bank due to unemployment and medical bills.
They all seem to come from a very privileged position, where they just can’t even walk in another persons shoes for one day, much less a lifetime. I’m just feeling really pissed off about this.
Right on point. If you really wanna die you will find anything to cbt with. Doesnt matter if its SN, can be something as simple as you mentioned; drinking bleach, jumping off your window if you live in a flat, drive into the next tree you see, electrocute yourself. Theres a thousand ways you can commit suicide with. Thats also my point with Ft26 and these parents, they blame us we "told their children how to cbt".
If they are ready to die, they will do it with any method possible doesnt matter if they checked SS or not.