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snxw

snxw

There’s no going back.
Joined
Apr 7, 2020
Messages
39
i can feel myself becoming heartless... ikr so stereotypical but mean it. i never thought itd happen to me but i dont really care about much anymore. everything is so devoid of meaning to me now. all i seem to care about is drugs and finding ways to lessen suffering but even that im just starting to accept. im so blank of expression and motivation like im completely hollow as a person. my attachments are dead and so is the person i used to be. all that is left is this dying vessel to kill.
 
FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
Joined
May 31, 2018
Messages
1,585
snxw said:
all i seem to care about is drugs and finding ways to lessen suffering
Agreed. I like the way you put it because it brings up why some of us engage in "bad behaviors" (poor eating, not exercising enough, drugs...). Like you're alluding to, we're suffering so much that the "healthy" choices aren't effective enough for us. Hope things turn around for you.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

I want to sleep for an eternity
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
3,986
I’m sorry you are suffering. In a way I feel like I have already died but I am still breathing and it can be such a depressing existence. I wish you well.
 
zeroornothing

zeroornothing

Arcanist
Joined
Jun 22, 2021
Messages
457
FTL.Wanderer said:
Like you're alluding to, we're suffering so much that the "healthy" choices aren't effective enough for us.
I find healthy stuff make me feel more shitty as they give me the clenrmindedness which makes me even more aware of my misery and dread of life. It is better to be unhealthy and hopefully succumb to death at a faster rate
 
FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
Joined
May 31, 2018
Messages
1,585
zeroornothing said:
I find healthy stuff make me feel more shitty as they give me the clenrmindedness which makes me even more aware of my misery and dread of life.
I agree. It's like being totally clear-minded while watching beings be tortured to death--but you have no power to stop it. Better to check out as much as possible.
 
atari

atari

The Very Best
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
319
This is exactly me at this point in time. Fully dead inside. I don’t even care about animals. I’m just truly sick and demented, lost.
 
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