Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
I wonder if somebody here has stopped experienced pleasure in the thungs they liked to do

...or in my case, they never truly enjoyed anything.

I saw a lot of people here with anhedonia, like me.

For me music is noise, stories are messed words, films are just frames... But everything feels emotionless. Everything is bland. Nothing feels interesting anymore...

And I really wanted to know if somebody here can relate with me, and do it fast please. Seriously, all this people sharing their music makes me feel a terrible envy. If anhedonia won me and I fall, I won't fall alone, others will fall with me into the abyss of insipidness.
 
S

ScaredOfLife

Arcanist
Jul 9, 2018
441
I wonder if somebody here has stopped experienced pleasure in the thungs they liked to do

...or in my case, they never truly enjoyed anything.

I saw a lot of people here with anhedonia, like me.

For me music is noise, stories are messed words, films are just frames... But everything feels emotionless. Everything is bland. Nothing feels interesting anymore...

And I really wanted to know if somebody here can relate with me, and do it fast please. Seriously, all this people sharing their music makes me feel a terrible envy. If anhedonia won me and I fall, I won't fall alone, others will fall with me into the abyss of insipidness.

When I'm in the depths of depression, nothing interests me. I don't listen to music, I don't watch TV or movies. I don't do anything. I simply don't find enjoyment in anything.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
I understand. I try to watch things -YouTube things that people send me. It’s like I am retarded .... what am I supposed to feel about this? I tried to go to dinner and a movie with a friend today..... I didn’t make it through dinner.
I listen to music because it is sound that blocks out the world. I need that sometimes.
I look at the little things I use to like doing and I can’t remember why.
I just want to die. That’s my hobby now. I can’t make it work but I really “enjoy” work on it.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
But I wish I was like everyone else. I want to be happy and listening to music. I want to go with a bunch of friends to the movies and laugh.
I want to be fucking normal ... so I am not alone at home eating my dinner in the fucking dark and drinking my self to “death”.
 
L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,138
How do you over come it?

It may look hard or complicated but I'll name it mind training. I developed it after long years of experience.

I suffered from anhedonic periods for a long time and I still get them. The feeling is horrible and ugly that I prefer the more painful depressive period over it. The worst thing happens to me is when I suddenly get a chemical drop and be anhedonic and lose every enjoyment.

I've spent many years and I've not find a complete permanent solution but had ways to bring back chemicals even temporarily.

The way I'll say is mental training, I don't know how to describe it, but I got used to anhedonia and my other problems so I could recognize my own patterns and reduce how it hurts me.
Second I tried to do stuff without judging myself about not enjoying, I stopped doing anything and whenever I try I was feeling very bad because I couldn't enjoy but then I simply ignored it, I just did things like playing or watching anime without judging myself, eventually I enjoyed some periods instead of nothing.

Also I went to gym and while its not a real solution and don't work all of the time but it can release hormones and chemicals that distracts you. I used to work out then immediately do stuff I enjoy. I've stayed like this for a long time (more than 6 months) and although it doesn't solve my anhedonia, at least it helped me getting some enjoyment. (I actually joined because I fed up of sudden dropping of chemicals that is very horrible thing similar to mood swing then someone recommended it for the chemicals)

I've still get ups and downs but I completely recognize my pattern and ignore it.

I've got damaged from anhedonia and my other countless problems and I know the horrible feeling. (Tbh anhedonia can even prevent one from ctbing and simply put the nothingness mode)

There are also ways to trigger chemicals but it doesn't happen intentionally so I just ignore the whole thing and it comes, I've developed many ways like enjoying the food or sexual stuff. I've playing the horror genre of video games and it sparked something at least. There are many more ways I developed but not consistent.

I've suffered from anhedonia for years and I can tell you getting chemicals is not impossible but getting them constantly probably is very hard. I was in the same place thinking its impossible but then at least I found some workaround. Even if its temporary, at least it worked to make me escape. I've got hurt and I know how it feels not to be in feelings when you read or watch or play or anything else, but guess what, once you get the chemicals, you can simulate your previous experiences and feel the enjoyment, its better than nothing.

I do not use meds or anything but just got used to it and deal with it. Maybe you can get meds or something because my way is very long one sadly
 
L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,138
I just do what I am “supposed” to. But it doesn’t work. I don’t get how to over come it.
Think I must be messed up : (

Sadly its a lengthy process but its not impossible to get chemicals. I think everyone is different when it comes to how to trigger it. Maybe try Gym or physical exercises (I'm not saying it as those who think gym is the solution to everything but just a try to trigger the effect and chemicals, the body shape changing if its the first time can contribute from my experience)
 
L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,138
Also I forgot to mention, although I hate interacting with others and I don't interact at all, there is a possibility that some people trigger it for you (maybe you like, love, or share interests or any reason)
 
D

Deleted_9cKnXB34QG

Mage
Jun 26, 2018
501
I can't really enjoy anything anymore, I can't distract myself with games, music and movies like I used to. It really sucks. Nowadays I just flip trough reddit, forums and short YT videos to pass the time but that's also boring as shit.
I'm getting restless.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
Sadly its a lengthy process but its not impossible to get chemicals. I think everyone is different when it comes to how to trigger it. Maybe try Gym or physical exercises (I'm not saying it as those who think gym is the solution to everything but just a try to trigger the effect and chemicals, the body shape changing if its the first time can contribute from my experience)
Thanks for talking a bit about it. I actually run quite a bit .... let’s me get away from everything and do some self punishment all in one. And it’s allowed, encourage and is never questioned : ) so 12-15 mile runs are a once a week thing. I admit that on those runs I feel differently. I run in the mountains .... and there is something different when I am out there. But I can’t seem to drag it back to this world.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
This shit is going to make the rest of my existence worse than it is now. I tried doing everything but I always leave them, everything is just so boring and tiring. Things are just for trying to distract my mind but I don't enjoy them at all. I only wanted to give venting.
 
M

Maggotymaggots

-
Apr 18, 2018
54
There's nothing left I enjoy. I try to wring some amount of enjoyment out the things that I used to, but I simply can't anymore. That doesn't stop me from continuing to try in the delusional hope that I'll somehow start enjoying them again, but realistically I know that that's just not going to happen.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic
Jan 26, 2021
5,511
I started becoming apathetic and passively suicidal maybe five years ago, now I have near-total anhedonia. I prefer things over other stuff but I don't have enough drive for pleasure to really get things done, I do believe nofap could help with this but I'm not bothered by the anhedonia that much. Will probably keep being largely lifeless until I die lol.

NIoGM4C.jpeg

(necro)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
There's nothing left I enjoy. I try to wring some amount of enjoyment out the things that I used to, but I simply can't anymore. That doesn't stop me from continuing to try in the delusional hope that I'll somehow start enjoying them again, but realistically I know that that's just not going to happen.

Damn, it almost hurt to read that. This sums up exactly what my situation has been for so long now. In my case, I've also been hanging onto this laughably delusional hope that someday I'll just get up and all the things I used to enjoy, will somehow magically do so again. And yet, of course, it never happens. Every rational part of me knows that it never will, but I just keep on naively expecting it to occur regardless. If it weren't for anhedonia kneecapping my relatively stable life as a hermit, then I truly feel that I wouldn't much mind everything else. The loneliness, the depression, the anxiety. All these things would still plague me, but if anhedonia weren't hanging around my neck like a fucking 10 tonne mill stone forcing me flat to the ground, then at least, day to day, things would be a lot more manageable for me.

15 years ago I still struggled with everything I do now, but the main difference was that I could still distract myself away from it. Video games in particular were my go-to mind killer. They kept me satisfied and mesmerized, until slowly, one piece at a time time, the whole thing was ripped away from me. Life wouldn't even allow me what little I had. Those few solitary hobbies that served to make my existence somewhat bearable. In this sense, anhedonia was the final 'coup de grace' to knock me spiraling downwards into pits of misery that dwarfed everything that came before. Nothing to dull the pain anymore. Nothing for me to do, but endure.

I still partake in these hobbies to an extent, but they'll never be what they used to be. For all intents and purposes, escapism is now lost to me forever. Before I could play a game and dull the pain, but now it does almost nothing. Everything feels futile and useless. I sit there and, for the most part, I feel just as awful as I always do. Everything's boring and tedious. It kills the time, but that's all it does. There was once a time where a video game was all I ever needed. I've waited nearly 8 years that to somehow be the case again, instead of the tiresome hassle it mutated into on account of the anhedonia.

TL:DR; Anhedonia destroyed and defiled everything that made my pitiful life even remotely bearable and it might as well be the devil incarnate.

I keep trying to do the things "normal" people enjoy and I am left feeling awful at each attempt. Not a lot of smiles in my life.

Yep, same here. Tried exercising; that didn't work. Tried writing; that didn't work. Tried shifting my attention elsewhere to other random things, and what do you know; that didn't work either. Fucking hate how full of shit most normals are. They confuse anhedonia with just being "bored". They can't understand that just "doing something else" doesn't address the core problem at all. Anhedonia literally destroys your capacity to feel satisfaction in anything.

Be that as it may, I want to comment on what a fucking sham exercise is. "Oh it'll make you feel better and release feel good endorphins!". BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. Never once have I felt better after working out. Never once have I actually looked forward to doing it. It's just as much a struggle for me to do as anything else. Without a decent life worth living, it means NOTHING! This is precisely what normals take for granted. Their lives are rich with possibilities and worthwhile reasons to justify the actions they undertake. Their efforts are acknowledged and rewarded with praise and adulation from those around them. Even if they aren't, it still means something to someone, or otherwise they wouldn't be doing it. And what do I have to justify the effort? Oh yeah, that's right. NOTHING! It's like a multi-millionaire advising someone barely able to make ends meet, to just take a quick trip to a deluxe resort in the Maldives to relax and unwind. Normals people are just THAT fucking out of touch with themselves and, by extension, reality itself.
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,272
They confuse anhedonia with just being "bored". They can't understand that just "doing something else" doesn't address the core problem at all. Anhedonia literally destroys your capacity to feel satisfaction in anything.
Yes, this makes me so upset. People's ideas are not effective for deeply rooted anhedonia. Even right now, I'm stoned as hell, I sound like I'm having fun, but I really want to die. Gotta seem chill to other people though or they'll worry.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary
Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Mage
May 14, 2018
518
This has to be the most reliable thread on SS for me. I haven't enjoyed anything in a very long time. Everything is pointless to me. I get no feels from anything. I hate those 10k+ upvoted feel good posts on reddit " < insert hobby or game here> saved me from suicide and depression"
It also doesn't help my "therapist" had to Google Anhedonia right in front of me.
 
Bauhaus

Bauhaus

Specialist
Jan 18, 2020
388
Opioids are the only thing that helps for me, also depends which ones.
Stimulants and nootropics otoh - any kind, even coffee - just make me hypernervous, agitated and I lose all concentration.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Throwawaysoul
C

carlee

Member
Jan 31, 2021
15
When I'm in the depths of depression, nothing interests me. I don't listen to music, I don't watch TV or movies. I don't do anything. I simply don't find enjoyment in anything.
Same. I’m on month two of moving from the couch to my bed, staring at either my phone or the walls. Barely eating. I’ve been doing the bare minimum to keep myself and the house together.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
I hate those 10k+ upvoted feel good posts on reddit " < insert hobby or game here> saved me from suicide and depression"

Yeah, I find that stuff downright nauseating. I mean, whatever, good for them I guess, but it still seems dubious. Methinks their supposed "suicidal depression" must not have been that bad if playing something like Dark Souls for the first time was able to pull them out of it. I mean, it's almost insulting to be honest. It's more likely they were just bored, or a tiny bit sad about this or that, and are just playing it up to reap a bunch of useless internet brownie points. As an aside to this, I really dislike the way places like reddit operate in this fashion. Encouraging people to be as cynical as possible, in the pursuit of worthless karma. It's this sort of thing that explains why I only lurk niche subs and ignore the rest of the constant bullshit that constantly pervades that site like the plague.

Opioids are the only thing that helps for me, also depends which ones.

Yes, I'd love to take opioids. Fuck psychedelics to the moon and back. All I got from that bullshit was panic attacks and a brief bout of derealization. I'd much rather that opioids were deemed legal and made available to the public. If there's anything that could actually stymie my chronic sense of anhedonia, I feel like opioids would be it.

Even if opioids just knocked me the fuck out and left me laying in my bed drooling on a pillow all day; I'd be perfectly okay with that. It's impossible for me to escape myself and how awful I feel. Even laying in bed doing absolutely nothing leaves me profoundly uncomfortable to the extreme. That's why I still force myself to play the odd video game, or watch the odd show, or come to lurk/post on this website. All I have are weak half measures like these that barely do any good at all for alleviating any of this. It's all I've got though, so I keep abusing them because to do nothing at all is even more painful for me. Depressed or not, I have no idea how anyone could lay in their bed all day sober. Unless I'm sleeping, I have to distract myself somehow. Laying around doing absolutely nothing leaves me at the mercy of my shitty thoughts that assault me like a loud screeching radio tuned to static. Like, how the hell can anyone put up with something like that for more than 20 minutes? No music, no phone, just nothing. It literally seems impossible to me how anyone could do that without going berserk from the tension, listless frustration, and complete fucking boredom of it all.

The pain never goes away, but laying in my bed with nothing to do is like setting the dial to 10, whereas listening to music or successfully forcing myself to play a video game turns the dial down to like an 8. Opioids could turn that dial all the way down to 0. I don't give a fuck that their addictive or that I could overdose. My life's already a total trainwreck, with a completely hopeless future. I'm not one of these people where everything was going for them until they got hooked and had it all fall apart for them. My life's already fucked right up the ass, so what difference will it make? Probably still a bad one in the long term, but whatever. Again, my life is already bad in the long term anyway.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic
Jan 26, 2021
5,511
my "therapist" had to Google Anhedonia right in front of me.
Ashley Waxman Bakshi Brows GIF by awbmakeup

Like, how the hell can anyone put up with something like that for more than 20 minutes? No music, no phone, just nothing. It literally seems impossible to me how anyone could do that without going berserk from the tension, listless frustration, and complete fucking boredom of it all.
I can sit and do nothing for several hours without any problems since I'm basically brain dead.
 
lmon

lmon

Specialist
Jan 9, 2022
328
Opioids are the only thing that helps for me, also depends which ones.
Stimulants and nootropics otoh - any kind, even coffee - just make me hypernervous, agitated and I lose all concentration.
Same
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Wish that I was gone.
Sep 24, 2020
13,454
I do not enjoy anything at all really, in my case I have never wanted to be alive. There is nothing that makes me want to stay here.I also struggle to concentrate on things and I do not have much interest in things. Humans repeat the same activities for decades on end, that is what life basically is. I do not understand how people can be satisfied with life, there is no way I will ever be. I just want non existence.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Emmie
completely-done

completely-done

-
Jan 31, 2022
212
Every time my friend sends me a "motivational" video of puppies I want to rage at her.

I really love dogs, I have a dog. But the excessive positivity dump people send is so stupid to me