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okyeah

-
Jul 20, 2018
425
Who else has anhedonia?

I used to be addicted to video games for a long time. Looking back I now realize it was a major coping mechanism for my shitty life. Now video games feel like work and I know they will not help me with creating a fulfilling life (if I decide to try).

I have 1 "friend" who I don't really like and he does stuff w me kind of. But it's never really enjoyable to hang around him.

All I do now is work 40 hours a week and come home and sleep or lie down in bed all day. I see a therapist once a week and I kind of look forward to it. I'm at the point where I'm curious to see what he could say to give me any hope. There's nothing realistically I can really do to fix my life so it's just amusing to see what he says when I know he's not allowed to agree that I should just end it.

Being social feels completely pointless. Everyone at my age and in my town has developed cliques. Everyone at my work is anti-social (I work in a lab). I don't really feel a genuine drive to do anything anyway - so if I joined a club or something no one would like my fake attitude.

I just feel that anything I do has no productive value to it. Nothing will make my life better - therefore it is unenjoyable. Learn to draw? Great - 5 years of extreme dedication to become good. It won't get you friends or a girlfriend or anything. Sometimes I workout but I also know that it isn't going to help me get a girlfriend really. At my age it's mostly personality/connections/social prowess/wealth. Just everything feels so ridiculously pointless...because it really is...at least in relation to my own life. No one wants to admit it though.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
I can relate. I stopped doing everything. Now I do nothing. I run/gym sometime... not to be health person. I hope it will further exaggerate whatever damage I can do to myself. Maybe if I push too hard I will die of a heart attack.
Therapists said I can’t be helped right now so can’t even talk to anyone.
I drink and get high. But my pills don’t work like they use too .... it’s not long enough.
Don’t go out with my two friends anymore... it’s stupid like you said. I can’t feel it. I just want to be home and I don’t have anything to talk about anyway.
 
CantGoOn

CantGoOn

Member
Jun 7, 2018
73
I sometimes think my anhedonia is what’s keeping me from ctb, like no strong emotion is getting me to the point of doing it. If I could take a pill to fall asleep and die I’d be gone.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Anhedonia is very draining for me too. I basically don't like anything at this point. It makes me feel strange and too disconnected of everything around me.
 
R

Radaghast94

Member
Aug 25, 2018
50
I have Anxiety pretty bad but anhedonia is what makes me suicidal. Even when I had a life I had absolutely no joy and enthusiasm. People can say 'Life isn't always fun' all they want and try to downplay mental health but I've known for a long time that the numbness I have towards life is really abnormal.