• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I have recently quit adderall and feeling better after almost a week sober. I couldn’t have done it as easy if I wasn’t hitting gym pretty hard, though there are ADHD treatments out there. I’m having a hard time throwing away the pills because I’m still in the mindset that what if I will need them to get a different job or get through an interview. It’s been my crutch for many many years but it’s been having the reverse effects as opposed to being helpful as I’ve gotten older lol! Basically when you’re young the side effects easier to bounce back from but as u get older it becomes more difficult to tolerate the side effects of stimulants.
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I went off Adderall for a year (because I was living in an Asian country in which it's not available). I gained weight and didn't have the motivation to do anything. That's great you can get to the gym without it. Do you drink caffeine? I'm back in the U.S. now, back on it. It's gotten harder than ever to get. It helps me with my confidence, and I'm very much dependent on it -- the year-long break got me used to a lesser dosage, though. Kudos to you for getting off of it. It's not supposed to be good for us in the long-term.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I went off Adderall for a year (because I was living in an Asian country in which it's not available). I gained weight and didn't have the motivation to do anything. That's great you can get to the gym without it. Do you drink caffeine? I'm back in the U.S. now, back on it. It's gotten harder than ever to get. It helps me with my confidence, and I'm very much dependent on it -- the year-long break got me used to a lesser dosage, though. Kudos to you for getting off of it. It's not supposed to be good for us in the long-term.
I had to force myself to the gym at first. I also weaned myself down to 5mg per day instant release before quitting. I would break my 20 mg into 5’s. At first you will feel tired and u think the gym will be hard but once u are actually in the gym your body will be more cooperative than you think.

The fatigue, depression, craving, foggy mind, does get pushed back significantly if you work out in the morning or when u begin your day. Cardio and weights. At least a half hour of make u sweat cardio or build up to a half hour as you can. Yes I drink caffeine, only a couple cups in the morning. I’m only almost 2 weeks off now and weirdly enough I’m more productive off it.

I did end up getting terribly depressed on adderall. I had difficulty thinking ahead much and lost sight of any future goals. I became anxiety ridden, isolated, fatigued, suicidal. I still deal with suicidal feelings off the adderall just not as intense. It did help my confidence but also numbed me out emotionally. I was first prescribed it at 25 when I went to a phsychiatrist for the first time over struggling at college.

I had no idea they were prescribing me a clean version of meth and it didn’t take me long to get hooked even though I started dealing with the negative effects pretty early. That was the beginning of all my problems. Then I ended up on like 4 additional meds to cope with the Adderall side effects which I did come off when I realized that phsychiatry these days is mostly a sham.

I’m sure I’ll have problems with employment in the future off Adderall but I realize my body can’t tolerate it, so I’ll have to just deal with whatever comes I guess. I will probably be more limited in what entry level jobs I can do off of it.
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Thank you so much for your very thorough and helpful response, Final Escape. You were so kind to explain the details of your weaning process. You are so articulate, and I am sure you will NOT have trouble with employment off Adderall. Again and again, I'm so struck by how intelligent and thoughtful (e.g., you) people on this forum are. You are also so disciplined, and I admire your work at looking inward to examine the effects Adderall had on you. I'm very grateful to you for going over your process with me; it was very selfless and kind. Thank you so much. I wish I could give you a hug. Really appreciate the opportunity to talk seriously about Adderall and its effects. It's such a fraught subject these days!
 
J

Justdave

New Member
Sep 15, 2018
4
Contemplating starting adderal or another stimulant in the coming weeks for my add. From what I have been reading, it sounds like it may not be worth it. I'm on Welbutrin but while it has helped with the anxiety, it hasn't stopped the mood swings . By that I mean I slip into deep depression for days at a time . Would the adderal help with this? Just hoping someone here has had personal experience with this .
 
  • Like
Reactions: Angel Goddess
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Contemplating starting adderal or another stimulant in the coming weeks for my add. From what I have been reading, it sounds like it may not be worth it. I'm on Welbutrin but while it has helped with the anxiety, it hasn't stopped the mood swings . By that I mean I slip into deep depression for days at a time . Would the adderal help with this? Just hoping someone here has had personal experience with this .
If you are already prone to depression, Adderall will only exacerbate the mood swings. You will keep escalating the dose because it’s impossible not to form a dependence on it and build tolerance. The problem with stimulants is it’s difficult to use as needed. When you are on them you can’t just not take one day without feeling really lethargic.

If you want to try a stimulant I’ve heard vyvanse is more smooth, but I think you will still end up needing to escalate the dose and you will still experience crashes and negative side effects. Vyvanse is more expensive. Don’t be suprised if it makes you depressed eventually. At first that stuff works like a dream but your body can only handle being artificially pushed to the limit like this for so long.
 
Last edited:
Sayo

Sayo

Not 2B
Aug 22, 2018
520
Thank you for sharing your experience, Final Escape. I found it really valuable. Like Justdave I am also in a position where I may start stimulants soon and I am very unwilling to due to their questionable interactions with my particular mental illnesses. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, too.

My partner has ADHD and takes stimulants, but it seems that going to the gym regularly provides a really important and noticeable boost in cognition for him too. Neither of us are broadly anti-medication (although I am much more sceptical of them after being burned by benzodiazepines, and find that psychiatrists often provide poor advice and support for what they prescribe). However, the effects of physical exercise on cognition seem pretty undeniable, and the side effects of stimulants can be pretty nasty - I don't doubt that as you experience the natural changes of aging, the side effects are compounded. I am mobility-impaired, so exercise is a little harder, but this is extra motivation to resume swimming.

Good luck to you with employment if you choose to pursue that!! Of course most need to work to survive, but destroying your body and mind in order to mostly line others' pockets is a hard thing to rationalise beyond the coercion of poverty.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Thank you for sharing your experience, Final Escape. I found it really valuable. Like Justdave I am also in a position where I may start stimulants soon and I am very unwilling to due to their questionable interactions with my particular mental illnesses. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, too.

My partner has ADHD and takes stimulants, but it seems that going to the gym regularly provides a really important and noticeable boost in cognition for him too. Neither of us are broadly anti-medication (although I am much more sceptical of them after being burned by benzodiazepines, and find that psychiatrists often provide poor advice and support for what they prescribe). However, the effects of physical exercise on cognition seem pretty undeniable, and the side effects of stimulants can be pretty nasty - I don't doubt that as you experience the natural changes of aging, the side effects are compounded. I am mobility-impaired, so exercise is a little harder, but this is extra motivation to resume swimming.

Good luck to you with employment if you choose to pursue that!! Of course most need to work to survive, but destroying your body and mind in order to mostly line others' pockets is a hard thing to rationalise beyond the coercion of poverty.
Right, it’s just not worth it. It is amazing at first and this is why it hooks people. It may work for many years or it might appear as if it’s working. I haven’t read too many other people’s stories saying it did not eventually cause harm.

I was using it responsibly and never had an issue with running out of pills because I was taking more than recommended doses. It didn’t matter though. Even at just 20 mg per day was enough to make me have trouble sleeping, eating, and began to experience negative effects on my life. It’s harder to see it while you are on the drug how it’s impacting your personal life. It’s only after u are off the drug for a little while that u feel this feeling like where the hell have I been at? Lol!
 
Last edited:
J

Justdave

New Member
Sep 15, 2018
4
If you are already prone to depression, Adderall will only exacerbate the mood swings. You will keep escalating the dose because it’s impossible not to form a dependence on it and build tolerance. The problem with stimulants is it’s difficult to use as needed. When you are on them you can’t just not take one day without feeling really lethargic.

If you want to try a stimulant I’ve heard vyvanse is more smooth, but I think you will still end up needing to escalate the dose and you will still experience crashes and negative side effects. Vyvanse is more expensive. Don’t be suprised if it makes you depressed eventually. At first that stuff works like a dream but your body can only handle being artificially pushed to the limit like this for so long.
Thank you for the info . I could not imagine my depression actually getting worse . Hard enough now to fight off these thoughts of exiting when I'm on a down swing.
 
satou

satou

not yet
Sep 3, 2018
225
I quit dextroamphetamine twice (adderall is 75% that and 25% L-amphetamine), second time permanently. Didn't really build off. First few days I could hardly stay awake, I was hungry all the time and my dreams and imagination were extremely vivid. After a week or so I could function normally again. Maybe after or month or two I was no longer feeling much residual effects of stopping. I think quitting suddenly the first time (I just ran out of medication) did cause side-effects to be more prominent when I started again.

Honestly I think lasting negative effects of other psychiatric medication can be much worse. I do agree that it can exuberate mood swings.
 
J

Justdave

New Member
Sep 15, 2018
4
It amazes me the difference in advice between normal people and those who have actually experienced long term severe depression . These side effects of these drugs can often makes things worse!!!

Lexapro did nothing for my depression. Starting and stopping it was a nightmare . Side effects were just terrible . The only thing it did was make me want to eat all of the time. Now being on Wellbutrin i am finding many little side effects. The only one I can't stand is how much less sleep I seem to be getting.

Anyway back to my counselor. She wants me to try stimulants and says it like it's no big thing . From everything I have learned here it sounds like just even more misery.

My wife hates it when I call them mind control drugs. Honestly, what else should they be called.

I'm getting so tired of it all. Not everyone can be fixed . I wonder if this help I am getting it's actually what is making things worse.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I was on high dose of Ritalin for several years. It sparked a two-year long mania (I'm BP) in which hypersexuality took over my life and destroyed it. I now live in S.E. Asia having lost a wonderful job and my beautiful little family and all the rest. I finally found a position in my field but had to come to S.E. Asia. I'm now alone, isolated and defeated by the tragedy of all that I lost. So guess what, I'm back on Ritalin.
 
Going Home

Going Home

Specialist
Sep 21, 2018
357
I was on Ritalin and it actually helped me. I was completely different from how I am now, could actually string together coherent sentences and understand people. I was engaged with my job I had back then and my coworkers.
A new shitbag doctor decided I was drug seeking and replaced Ritalin with other nonstimulant crap that my brain didn't respond to at all.
I can only imagine where he got that idea and he fucked things up for me.
It doesn't matter at this point but I was forced to give up a drug that my brain responded to.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I was on Ritalin and it actually helped me. I was completely different from how I am now, could actually string together coherent sentences and understand people. I was engaged with my job I had back then and my coworkers.
A new shitbag doctor decided I was drug seeking and replaced Ritalin with other nonstimulant crap that my brain didn't respond to at all.
I can only imagine where he got that idea and he fucked things up for me.
It doesn't matter at this point but I was forced to give up a drug that my brain responded to.
I'm sorry to hear of your experience. These medications can be so effective. I'm just wired (alcoholic, etc.) to abuse things like that
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I was on high dose of Ritalin for several years. It sparked a two-year long mania (I'm BP) in which hypersexuality took over my life and destroyed it. I now live in S.E. Asia having lost a wonderful job and my beautiful little family and all the rest. I finally found a position in my field but had to come to S.E. Asia. I'm now alone, isolated and defeated by the tragedy of all that I lost. So guess what, I'm back on Ritalin.
I can relate to the hyper sexuality problem. Yes I just stay on it because my life is so wrecked anyway that it’s like too late now. I’m a drug addict and I won’t say what else :(
 
  • Like
Reactions: Angel Goddess