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V

ven

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Aug 11, 2021
Messages
41
Today I woke up and conducted my normal morning routine without issue. My semi-annual dental examination and cleaning was scheduled mid-morning, so I drove toward the dental office. Driving to the office was dreamlike, everything like a slow and numb autopilot mode. I arrived to the office, checked in and waited for the hygienist to call my name. My name is called, she measures my temperature, then walks me to a back room and seats me in the same dental chair. From here, I start to genuinely struggle to stay present.

Normally I'm responsive and proactively paying attention to what happening as the hygienist cleans my mouth, today was different. I started to fade, I could still see and realize what's happening with enough accuracy to react, but I it was difficult to force my body to act. It required immense concentration to break through what felt like hardening sludge. I broke free of sensation in time to talk to the dentist before leaving. I'm lucky the process is impressively streamlined, because interpersonal interaction was difficult to navigate.

Looking back on the situation, it didn't feel real in the moment and doesn't feel real now. The only confirmation that I attended a dentist are the polished facial and lingual tooth surfaces, and a business card with my future appointment day. I'm worried that if I didn't fight so hard to maintain presence, that I may have become completely catatonic.

Anyone encounter similar issues with dissociation?
 
LivideLamb

LivideLamb

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
57
Right now? No. I've learned to stop it before it even begins. Kill it in the womb type of things.
At one point, I would dissociate for hours at a time. For example, I would sit down at my desk meaning to draw or do such a thing, dissociate, and at a random point, I would kind of snap out of it and see that hours had passed, and I didn't do anything. Or whenever, I'm extremely anxious; my mind tries to fight it or live with it, and my body just wanna nope out of here.

I did some long work with my therapist and she tremendously helped me. The best thing that I got out of it, was to understand how dissociation would manifest itself and to catch me, and stop me before it was too late and I was fully into my dreamlike state.

Also, I wish you good luck on your journey, and I know that dealing with it isn't easy, so really I hope that it's gonna be ok.
 
V

ven

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Aug 11, 2021
Messages
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Thanks for the perspective LividLamb.

It's probably best to halt the situation whenever it creeps up instead of ignoring it, otherwise it'll start to bleed over into situations like yesterday. Practicing paves the way for improving what you're practicing, even if that translates to practicing enabling dissociation by letting it happen at home. I guess it was inevitable to occur outside the home environment. I'll try to take a more vigilant approach to stamping it out at the inception point.
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

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Dec 8, 2020
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1,766
Yes, I dissociate like that when things are really bad. It kinda sucks. Like you said, difficult to talk or move, if I can at all. Slow motion, things may sound off? I’ve found that my mind doesn’t just detach, but if I have anything going through my mind at all it’s just kinda bizarre? Memory issues like you stated aren’t unusual for that level of dissociation too. Generally the dissociation for me is pretty mild, things feeling fake, looking in the mirror and not really recognizing myself. People seeming fake.

But anyway. Do you have any idea why your dissociation could be so bad? It happens when your brain is trying to protect you. Can happen with trauma, anxiety, depression, etc. Sounds like it was scary and I hope things get better for you soon.
ven said:
Thanks for the perspective LividLamb.

It's probably best to halt the situation whenever it creeps up instead of ignoring it, otherwise it'll start to bleed over into situations like yesterday. Practicing paves the way for improving what you're practicing, even if that translates to practicing enabling dissociation by letting it happen at home. I guess it was inevitable to occur outside the home environment. I'll try to take a more vigilant approach to stamping it out at the inception point.
Ah, and I do wanna say. If you notice it coming on again… it’s good to try and keep it from worsening by trying to ground yourself. Try to not pay too much attention to it, because that tends to feed into the dissociation (stress) and make it worse.
 
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MiseryWithoutCompany

MiseryWithoutCompany

Doggo Good, Doggo Great
Joined
Oct 1, 2020
Messages
43
That's typically how I react to sunlight as a whole. If it is light outside (seemingly made worse during overcast), then I tend to get "stuck". And when I'm making myself move with great taxation to my mind, I'm barely there. Reaction is a tossup, since I usually tend not to at all, and for some reason I burst into tears after fully regaining mental presence...

I THINK that petit mal seizures? But I never got diagnosed, so I could full of shit. :V
But good to see I'm not alone! :hug:
 
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V

ven

Member
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Aug 11, 2021
Messages
41
BitterlyAlive_ said:
But anyway. Do you have any idea why your dissociation could be so bad? It happens when your brain is trying to protect you. Can happen with trauma, anxiety, depression, etc. Sounds like it was scary and I hope things get better for you soon.
Early lifetime trauma, plus the tiresomeness of the human condition and participating in the society I was born into. I imagine my early history manifests in ways that could be interpreted as depression and anxiety by shrink terminology.

BitterlyAlive_ said:
Ah, and I do wanna say. If you notice it coming on again… it’s good to try and keep it from worsening by trying to ground yourself. Try to not pay too much attention to it, because that tends to feed into the dissociation (stress) and make it worse.
Note taken. I think I initially knew this in the past, but I stopped caring and let it occur at home. Bloodletting the time out of my life one dissociative event at time. I neglected to forecast it impacting me outside the home.
 
Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Enlightened
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Sep 9, 2018
Messages
1,321
Yes I've suffered from a mildly dizzy, dreamlike existence for 7 years now. Everything feels unreal or fuzzy. I can't think clearly, and my memory and concentration are totally shot. I can't follow conversations or movies very well. It just happened totally out of the blue one day.
 
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