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V

ven

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2021
Messages
57
Today I woke up and conducted my normal morning routine without issue. My semi-annual dental examination and cleaning was scheduled mid-morning, so I drove toward the dental office. Driving to the office was dreamlike, everything like a slow and numb autopilot mode. I arrived to the office, checked in and waited for the hygienist to call my name. My name is called, she measures my temperature, then walks me to a back room and seats me in the same dental chair. From here, I start to genuinely struggle to stay present.

Normally I'm responsive and proactively paying attention to what happening as the hygienist cleans my mouth, today was different. I started to fade, I could still see and realize what's happening with enough accuracy to react, but I it was difficult to force my body to act. It required immense concentration to break through what felt like hardening sludge. I broke free of sensation in time to talk to the dentist before leaving. I'm lucky the process is impressively streamlined, because interpersonal interaction was difficult to navigate.

Looking back on the situation, it didn't feel real in the moment and doesn't feel real now. The only confirmation that I attended a dentist are the polished facial and lingual tooth surfaces, and a business card with my future appointment day. I'm worried that if I didn't fight so hard to maintain presence, that I may have become completely catatonic.

Anyone encounter similar issues with dissociation?
 
LivideLamb

LivideLamb

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
58
Right now? No. I've learned to stop it before it even begins. Kill it in the womb type of things.
At one point, I would dissociate for hours at a time. For example, I would sit down at my desk meaning to draw or do such a thing, dissociate, and at a random point, I would kind of snap out of it and see that hours had passed, and I didn't do anything. Or whenever, I'm extremely anxious; my mind tries to fight it or live with it, and my body just wanna nope out of here.

I did some long work with my therapist and she tremendously helped me. The best thing that I got out of it, was to understand how dissociation would manifest itself and to catch me, and stop me before it was too late and I was fully into my dreamlike state.

Also, I wish you good luck on your journey, and I know that dealing with it isn't easy, so really I hope that it's gonna be ok.
 
V

ven

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2021
Messages
57
Thanks for the perspective LividLamb.

It's probably best to halt the situation whenever it creeps up instead of ignoring it, otherwise it'll start to bleed over into situations like yesterday. Practicing paves the way for improving what you're practicing, even if that translates to practicing enabling dissociation by letting it happen at home. I guess it was inevitable to occur outside the home environment. I'll try to take a more vigilant approach to stamping it out at the inception point.
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
1,890
Yes, I dissociate like that when things are really bad. It kinda sucks. Like you said, difficult to talk or move, if I can at all. Slow motion, things may sound off? I’ve found that my mind doesn’t just detach, but if I have anything going through my mind at all it’s just kinda bizarre? Memory issues like you stated aren’t unusual for that level of dissociation too. Generally the dissociation for me is pretty mild, things feeling fake, looking in the mirror and not really recognizing myself. People seeming fake.

But anyway. Do you have any idea why your dissociation could be so bad? It happens when your brain is trying to protect you. Can happen with trauma, anxiety, depression, etc. Sounds like it was scary and I hope things get better for you soon.
ven said:
Thanks for the perspective LividLamb.

It's probably best to halt the situation whenever it creeps up instead of ignoring it, otherwise it'll start to bleed over into situations like yesterday. Practicing paves the way for improving what you're practicing, even if that translates to practicing enabling dissociation by letting it happen at home. I guess it was inevitable to occur outside the home environment. I'll try to take a more vigilant approach to stamping it out at the inception point.
Ah, and I do wanna say. If you notice it coming on again… it’s good to try and keep it from worsening by trying to ground yourself. Try to not pay too much attention to it, because that tends to feed into the dissociation (stress) and make it worse.
 
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MiseryWithoutCompany

MiseryWithoutCompany

Doggo Good, Doggo Great
Joined
Oct 1, 2020
Messages
56
That's typically how I react to sunlight as a whole. If it is light outside (seemingly made worse during overcast), then I tend to get "stuck". And when I'm making myself move with great taxation to my mind, I'm barely there. Reaction is a tossup, since I usually tend not to at all, and for some reason I burst into tears after fully regaining mental presence...

I THINK that petit mal seizures? But I never got diagnosed, so I could full of shit. :V
But good to see I'm not alone! :hug:
 
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V

ven

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2021
Messages
57
BitterlyAlive_ said:
But anyway. Do you have any idea why your dissociation could be so bad? It happens when your brain is trying to protect you. Can happen with trauma, anxiety, depression, etc. Sounds like it was scary and I hope things get better for you soon.
Early lifetime trauma, plus the tiresomeness of the human condition and participating in the society I was born into. I imagine my early history manifests in ways that could be interpreted as depression and anxiety by shrink terminology.

BitterlyAlive_ said:
Ah, and I do wanna say. If you notice it coming on again… it’s good to try and keep it from worsening by trying to ground yourself. Try to not pay too much attention to it, because that tends to feed into the dissociation (stress) and make it worse.
Note taken. I think I initially knew this in the past, but I stopped caring and let it occur at home. Bloodletting the time out of my life one dissociative event at time. I neglected to forecast it impacting me outside the home.
 
A

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Enlightened
Joined
Sep 9, 2018
Messages
1,437
Yes I've suffered from a mildly dizzy, dreamlike existence for 7 years now. Everything feels unreal or fuzzy. I can't think clearly, and my memory and concentration are totally shot. I can't follow conversations or movies very well. It just happened totally out of the blue one day.
 
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thelastofit

thelastofit

Member
Joined
May 20, 2021
Messages
16
I experienced this a few times years ago before work. It was like I was floating, everything was cloud/fuzzy. Like I hadn’t fully woke up yet. Felt like I wasn’t in control
 
UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

Orange
Joined
Dec 4, 2020
Messages
1,942
I do, under extreme pressure and anxiety. Feels something like levitating on air so compressed it becomes unsubstantial, surrounded by what seems an infinite horizon of incorporeal matter.
FB_IMG_1626261593500.jpg
Or something like that :)
 
Phuckwad27

Phuckwad27

Suicidal mess.
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
14
I've lost days before. Apparently one time I walked to a park by my house and talked to a guy for a few hours. Even gave him my phone number. Dont remember any of it. Only reason I know what I know is becuase he texted me and told me I seemed to be in a bad spot.

I've also apparently gone to peoples houses. I had a friend drop me off at a dude's place, I assume to have sex, but I have no recollection of this. No idea how I got home, who it was, crazy shit.

So yes, disassociating is not usually fun, and can be dangerous.
 
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ratpudding

ratpudding

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2021
Messages
28
I don't know if I'd call it 'intense' personally but I experience dissociation frequently. I might just be used to it, I think it's related to one of my mental illnesses because I've experienced it since I was around 8 or 9 if I remember correctly.
Funny enough I think the only time I experience time properly is when I smoke weed. Usually it goes by so fast I don't realize hours passing but with weed I think it's been 3 hours but it's only been 5 minutes because I'm so used to just losing time.
Most of the time I just feel somewhat out of it and don't realize fully whats going on.not like disoriented though just like autopilot. Everything keeps going and I don't even notice what I'm doing or how I got there because I just don't pay attention.
 
M

markikomori

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2021
Messages
31
It happened to me once. I was at work as usual, and my colleagues invited me to the restaurant for lunch break, a few months ago before summer. My colleagues were talking of all their vacation plans, they were very happy about it. I thought about the fact all that awaited me was shutting myself into my room for 3 weeks, that I had nothing planned other than suicide (which I eventually didn't do as I am here now), and that I was so fucking jealous of them. I totally froze and couldn't even talk anymore, my colleagues thought I was feeling sick and about to pass out or something, I blamed the shitty food iirc but I was actually overwhelmed with sadness, regret and jealousy. Then I talked to my coworker who was concerned about me but I honestly don't remember anything about it, the whole thing lasted over an hour, snapped out of it later into the day. Anyway I haven't had any socializing with my colleagues since then, refused every invitation and stopped talking to everyone, I wonder what they think of me now...
 
D

DthrowawayA

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2021
Messages
6
I feel that. Sometimes i just suddenly drift away so much that i cant comprehend what people are saying anymore.
 
SuicideBoys93

SuicideBoys93

I am the lord of loneliness.
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
284
I typically don’t disassociate much, but when I do it’s pretty epic. I essentially feel light headed all day detached from the world around me. Looking at things in weird perspectives and really blown away that this is real life. Typically if I have a string of down days I’m good for one of those days. Thankfully I’ve pretty attentive as of late, and focusing on the goal which is too continue to get better each day.
 
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D

devin44

Member
Joined
May 24, 2019
Messages
37
My dissociation is like a 12/10, losing time and feeling like I'm different people throughout the day. Not fun
 
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sick.faery

sick.faery

Joined
Mar 18, 2021
Messages
47
pers yea, but usually it's not that bad. for me it's usually more just feeling numbish with my vision going blurry, feeling super light or heavy/stiff. plus not recognizing myself in the mirror and being a bit dissociated from my body.

but sometimes it can be really extreme, like i'll have very bad tunnel vision, completely not recognize any aspect of myself (not just my body/face), all the sensations i usually get when disso are like doubled and it's kinda hard to stand/walk. plus i'll half of the time forget hours or even practically whole days when it's that level
 
aludnelac

aludnelac

wayward weirdo
Joined
Sep 15, 2021
Messages
24
dissociation is one of those things that i think has a passive rule over many people, where it happens in such a way that by the time you realize you're starting to lose touch with reality and even your sense of self and forgetting to do some of the most basic things, way too much time has already passed.. i think it's usually done to escape troubling states of mind, and while it's pretty unproductive and makes you feel like you're almost not a person anymore, or that reality is very fake, it can be a nice escape from the bleakness of reality.. just as sleeping many hours can be a good way to escape, so can partially exiting reality for a while.. it can be really awful if it happens when you're supposed to be around other people, since it's almost like you don't really know how to communicate with them, and there's this huge barrier between your current inner world and the one they're in.. i think it makes it hard to even feel like you know what's going on day to day, and everything just blurs into misery sludge, with almost these strange lost gaps where you escaped reality.. i think i often intentionally dissociate into something i know will get my mind to become obsessive, and start looking for patterns until i lose myself.. i guess i do it to stop the bad thoughts at an extreme level, and in many cases that means forcing myself to not really feel present in reality or the world for indefinite hours.. but unfortunately, this doesn't solve anything, and you're still ultimately in the same terrible place once you stop dissociating that day.. idk, it's just another cope, whether intentional or not, i suppose.. but it definitely magnifies that overwhelming feeling of everything in reality having no substance, which is disturbing..
 
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