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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
We all have our flaws.But after reading your threads.I just don’t see how anyone could NOT enjoy your company.


Although seriously you need to seek help regarding this.


I avoid dating and relationships because of a physical problem.
And because of this physical problem i now have mental problems also.
In my case there is no cure.I've tried a lot of specialists etc.
 
D

Deleted_9cKnXB34QG

Mage
Jun 26, 2018
502
My ugliness, SPD and anxiety prevent me from forming any kind of deep, emotional connections with people. I simply can't imagine being in a relationship.
Love is for other people, it's something that happens in movies and books, not in my life. I don't even daydream about it anymore, cause what's the point.
 
Slacker

Slacker

⋔⊬ ☌⍜⎅, ⟟⏁´⌇ ⎎⎍⌰⌰ ⍜⎎ ⌿⍜⌰⟟☊⟒
Aug 17, 2018
298
maybe its true when they say u can't love others if u dont love yourself, because deeply inside I hate myself. I just dont want to be like I am. I have absolutely no self confidence. I try to make jokes to relax a bit and I think that women dont like this. Im like a clown. a sad clown. miserable. Even if there someone who likes me... I just can't believe it...because I hate myself so much. I wish I could just be together with someone. I miss skin contact so much. Its not about sex... just touching someone would be great... but there is this Great Wall I just can't get over it...
 
SnowyDreams

SnowyDreams

Member
Aug 25, 2018
79
I have never been in a romantic or similar relationship and I'm not interested in its dynamics, but I'd like to have a close relationship with someone. Yet the few friends I had either moved away for work or simply drifted away from me, too busy with their children and work and their other friends too.... every other friend is more important than me. I stopped trying to reach them because they take so long to reply and say they never have any time to meet ... anyway. I don't think I blame them because people usually like happy people. They only like me when I'm happy which is never. So they got tired. And I don't have much to offer. I have zero emotional stability, I don't even know what my personality is anymore, I don't really know who I am and I don't enjoy many things anymore, either. It's really boring and not very safe for your mental stability to be with me tbh.
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
Yep. 25 female and never had sex. I used to kick myself for being ugly and/or unlikable, but I've realized now that I actively avoid relationships, and I am not very keen on having sex outside one no matter how much I argue with myself about it. I'm not ugly and I'm decent enough socially to manage a one night stand, but the motivation just isn't there. Requires more trust from me than I will ever have.

And if I think a one night stand is too risky and requires too much trust, how the hell would I spring for a relationship? One that is bound to fail?

I just look at my parents' shitty marriage and can't see how it could be worth it. They haven't slept together for as long as I can remember. If my mother weren't religious, I think she would have aborted me and GTFO. That's what she should have done.

I don't know how my dad feels about inflicting his mental illness on everyone else, about trapping someone and ruining their life, but I am unwilling to do that. Whatever has fucked up our brains ends with me.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Illuminated
Mar 23, 2018
3,103
Involuntarily. I'm 20 and have never been in a relationship. Too ugly and too socially awkward. I've also never had any friends.

I'm ugly and socially awkward but I have been in some relationships. Obviously they didn't work out & I'm happier being single than with someone. I'm still miserable enough that I want to die but I think I would be more miserable if I was with someone.
 
Meena

Meena

Student
Jun 7, 2018
138
How would a partner manipulate a person with childhood trauma/ ptsd/ depression/ ocd/ anxiety?

I don't know but we can be manipulated by people in general not only by partners.
From my side i was manipulated by my psychiatrist who destroyed my family.
I was a good mum. But my ex manipulated the system by saying i am not capable of taking care of my son who lives now in another country with his father.
In my last job my colleagues noticed i was very shy and not in control so they complicated things for me and i had to quit.
We shouldn't show any of our weakness to anybody. In order survive in this society u need to be though
 
A

and 10 others

Member
Aug 29, 2018
55
I never had any problem in having a relationship with someone, actually it's quite easy if you try to see it from their perspective (be calm, confident and flexible). But I realized something that made me don't want to persuade any serious relationship with others.

At first I thought the reason for having relationship is just getting close to someone and disclosing your thoughts/concerns with them. I just nonchalantly made friends and every time when the person I was talking with heard about real me, they got shocked or acted weird, like I was terminally ill or on my death bed. I hated it when they looked down on me. I wanted them to understand me. I couldn't talk about my real problems with them or be my real self. I just had to lie when I was around them. Maybe I expected too much of them. I faked everything in my life so others won't bother me.

Of course I asked for help but the people who were suppose to help needed help more than me. I couldn't solve my problems, I tried real hard, but it wasn't good enough. My plans to save myself didn't work. I couldn't help myself. I didn't change much.

Now I don't care anymore. I lived my life and I'm good to go.
 
Susannah

Susannah

Arcanist
Jul 2, 2018
481
I used to be supersosial, outgoing, popular. Had a lot of "offers", boys, men. Girls wanted to be friends. I think people in general are a bit stupid. Sounds very arrogant, but I hide it well. Really hate shit- chatting, bullshit, narrow-minded thoughts. After being injured 2y ago, I got used to be alone, liked it and will never have a serious relation again. Don't even miss sex.
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I don't know but we can be manipulated by people in general not only by partners.
From my side i was manipulated by my psychiatrist who destroyed my family.
I was a good mum. But my ex manipulated the system by saying i am not capable of taking care of my son who lives now in another country with his father.
In my last job my colleagues noticed i was very shy and not in control so they complicated things for me and i had to quit.
We shouldn't show any of our weakness to anybody. In order survive in this society u need to be though
How do I avoid showing weakness? I can’t keep it in
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I never had any problem in having a relationship with someone, actually it's quite easy if you try to see it from their perspective (be calm, confident and flexible). But I realized something that made me don't want to persuade any serious relationship with others.

At first I thought the reason for having relationship is just getting close to someone and disclosing your thoughts/concerns with them. I just nonchalantly made friends and every time when the person I was talking with heard about real me, they got shocked or acted weird, like I was terminally ill or on my death bed. I hated it when they looked down on me. I wanted them to understand me. I couldn't talk about my real problems with them or be my real self. I just had to lie when I was around them. Maybe I expected too much of them. I faked everything in my life so others won't bother me.

Of course I asked for help but the people who were suppose to help needed help more than me. I couldn't solve my problems, I tried real hard, but it wasn't good enough. My plans to save myself didn't work. I couldn't help myself. I didn't change much.

Now I don't care anymore. I lived my life and I'm good to go.

I’m always honest and show ‘real me’ because I want people to understand. It always pushes people away. I don’t know how to be fake
 
Cold

Cold

Earthbound
Aug 27, 2018
100
I'm 25 now and never been close to being in a relationship. Never been kissed, hugged or even had my hand held. Never really had any friends either. I'm a ghost to other people. I feel like I'm alone in the entire universe. I've been crushed by this loneliness for so long I've completely given up. I hate it.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Not exactly. I avoid them because "normal" people has nothing to offer me and I find them very tiring. Social interaction with society causes me two different effects: or I'm bored and not interested at all in the shit they are telling to me or I notice how miserable the average person is, I get enraged and I want to kill somebody.

For my own sake, I don't interact with them.
 
A

and 10 others

Member
Aug 29, 2018
55
I’m always honest and show ‘real me’ because I want people to understand. It always pushes people away. I don’t know how to be fake

I want them to understand but I think most of the times it's not possible. Have some patient. That's one thing I realized in my first attempts. It's strange how people like to put up an act most of the times. I think they are somewhat insecure. I do have respect for others and I try not to throw my problems on them, but whenever I shared my real thoughts with my closest friends, I felt it scared them away. Perhaps it wasn't something they expected and they didn't know how to react. So they panicked or tried to be too nice to me.

As for how to fake it, it's easy. They are humans just like you. They too have feelings like you. First look at what they do or what they talk about. You can do some research on those subjects. Fashion, movies, celebrities, sports, games, etc. You'll find something in common with them. Try to stress on is interesting for them and let them talk on subjects they like the most. These are the first steps.

They send so many signals, it's hard to decide which one to pick and take the conversation from there. It's so tiresome sometimes and I have to repeat everything in my mind to see why it went that way.
 
K

killmepls

Member
Aug 19, 2018
85
physical= ugly
mental= social anxiety
no friends
I think it is a miracle I am not a virgin, I was lucky enough to have been with a few girls (not for very long). I had a good girlfriend at one point but fucked it up with her I am still kicking myself over it. I haven't had sex in years. I do not try very hard anymore to get girls as it is pointless. I just try to flirt with girls I encounter to feed off their feminine energy, it never goes anywhere. Seriously considering getting a fembot to fill the hole in my life