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lostinthedream

lostinthedream

-
Sep 2, 2018
754
jiddukrishnamurti1-2x.jpg
 
Maravillosa

Maravillosa

Mistress of all she surveys
Sep 7, 2018
638
Yes, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I am on SSI because of my history of severe depression. I do not like to admit either unless I think that the person I am communicating with can be trusted. Of course, my reluctance to admit to being on SSI and having depression leaves me at a loss when people ask me, "What do you do?" I usually say that I volunteer at church (and for the past few months, that I am a caregiver for my mother), but when people ask "What do you do?", I think they usually mean "What is your source of income?" By definition, volunteers are not paid: neither are most caregivers to infirm and/or elderly relatives.
 
Wantingpeace

Wantingpeace

-
Aug 16, 2018
672
Yes, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I am on SSI because of my history of severe depression. I do not like to admit either unless I think that the person I am communicating with can be trusted. Of course, my reluctance to admit to being on SSI and having depression leaves me at a loss when people ask me, "What do you do?" I usually say that I volunteer at church (and for the past few months, that I am a caregiver for my mother), but when people ask "What do you do?", I think they usually mean "What is your source of income?" By definition, volunteers are not paid: neither are most caregivers to infirm and/or elderly relatives.

Such important job that is not recognised being a caregiver <3
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,380
Yes I 'm a complete and utter failure and I hate being asked what I do for a living. I'm not mentally ill though but then every mentally ill person probably thinks that.
 
sky7

sky7

Student
Aug 21, 2018
109
I used to be embarrassed when I was in my 20s. Was in denial too and rejected treatment except when I was forced to go.

Now that I am older I'm not embarrassed. But taking psychology courses in college and seeing how prevalent mental illnesses are helped too.
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Yes, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I am on SSI because of my history of severe depression. I do not like to admit either unless I think that the person I am communicating with can be trusted. Of course, my reluctance to admit to being on SSI and having depression leaves me at a loss when people ask me, "What do you do?" I usually say that I volunteer at church (and for the past few months, that I am a caregiver for my mother), but when people ask "What do you do?", I think they usually mean "What is your source of income?" By definition, volunteers are not paid: neither are most caregivers to infirm and/or elderly relatives.
I used to say that I’m a student. But now I say I do freelancing. I have dabbled in it in the past but it’s not what I’m doing now. The next problem is explaining why I can never afford to go out. It’s such a problem.
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
im nearing 30 and feel pathetic. I’ll never have a career. Being mentally ill as a teen is just a quirk, but it morphs into outcast.

Just another reason to ctb.
im nearing 30 and feel pathetic. I’ll never have a career. Being mentally ill as a teen is just a quirk, but it morphs into outcast.

Just another reason to ctb.
Volatile, I know so well how you feel, but please do not give up on yourself or your career. We have a lot to offer. We think differently than other people, and we have gifts that others don't. Please believe me, and please do not give up on yourself or your career. Like you, I always think about how my neuroses/psychoses could be excused as quirkiness in my younger years, and now it's seen as more dire. Please don't fall prey to this thinking. We have a lot to offer the world, I am sure of it.
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Yes, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I am on SSI because of my history of severe depression. I do not like to admit either unless I think that the person I am communicating with can be trusted. Of course, my reluctance to admit to being on SSI and having depression leaves me at a loss when people ask me, "What do you do?" I usually say that I volunteer at church (and for the past few months, that I am a caregiver for my mother), but when people ask "What do you do?", I think they usually mean "What is your source of income?" By definition, volunteers are not paid: neither are most caregivers to infirm and/or elderly relatives.
Maravilloso, it's maravilloso that you volunteer. It's no one's business how you make money. Don't feel like you owe people a response. You are contributing to society, and that is what matters. Tell people to eff themselves if they can't handle someone volunteering.
 
Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Super duper enlightened
Sep 9, 2018
1,707
There's nothing worse than being unable to work and having to answer "what do you do" questions. I am mentally ill, the medical system has failed me, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt and I can't get benefits because they don't really know what's going on with me. What a wonderful world.
 
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,142
There's nothing worse than being unable to work and having to answer "what do you do" questions. I am mentally ill, the medical system has failed me, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt and I can't get benefits because they don't really know what's going on with me. What a wonderful world.
Getting a bullshit diagnosis on paper to make it official. I had a psych intake years ago when I was unable to sleep, eat or function in general. Told them I was thinking about suicide. Dr just said I was depressed and prescribed put me on meds. Years later I was diagnosed as bipolar. Hospitalizations suicide attempts on and on. Just want to die and be done with this.
 
DreamFreedom

DreamFreedom

Thane
Oct 3, 2018
68
I've never been open about anything mentally. Never been to any doctor or hospital about it and As far as anyone around me is concerned, I'm just a sad socially awkward lazy "adult". But I am embarrassed of it, if ever my mom questions if I'm depressed, I get so defensive like it makes me a failure.
 
Circles

Circles

There's a difference between existing and living.
Sep 3, 2018
1,728
It's just so sad what kind of situation we find ourselves in. When we are jobless and face innumerable setbacks such as health, homelessness, hunger, debt,, hell even the pursuit of happiness is lost in transition. Then when we have a job atleast according to me it's just as bad being forced to do something you don't like just to barely survive let alone thrive. It's just so pathetic how the human system has been rigged to the point of unnecessary suffering amounting to the millions perhaps billions of people forced to do shit they don't like and every lifer just goes along with the typical life script bullshit and taunts 'Welp that's just life' or 'It is what it is' as if those are justifiable answers. What's the point of trying when the harder you try the harder you fall?
 
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,142
It's just so sad what kind of situation we find ourselves in. When we are jobless and face innumerable setbacks such as health, homelessness, hunger, debt,, hell even the pursuit of happiness is lost in transition. Then when we have a job atleast according to me it's just as bad being forced to do something you don't like just to barely survive let alone thrive. It's just so pathetic how the human system has been rigged to the point of unnecessary suffering amounting to the millions perhaps billions of people forced to do shit they don't like and every lifer just goes along with the typical life script bullshit and taunts 'Welp that's just life' or 'It is what it is' as if those are justifiable answers. What's the point of trying when the harder you try the harder you fall?
Feel this completely.

I’m so fucking through with everything. I’ve been in the hospital when I was a teen, was very ashamed of it and kept that hidden, depression and anxiety really makes it impossible to have a decent life, did shitty jobs until I was unable, because I have to and can’t just go under, now I find myself completely suicidally depressed and barely able to function, what is the fucking point of me starting all over again? Housing situation is fucked, work situation is fucked and i’m In excruciating mental pain from depression any time I’m conscious. Fuck all of this shit. There’s no alternative to this hellish system that I have absolutely no place in except to suffer.
 
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,142
im nearing 30 and feel pathetic. I’ll never have a career. Being mentally ill as a teen is just a quirk, but it morphs into outcast.

Just another reason to ctb.
I think about this often. It gets worse as I get older - the hopelessness and shame. I’ve always had troubles but as a teen I at least had hope for the future and people still had hope in me. But now I know that I’m finished.
 
worldexploder

worldexploder

-
Sep 19, 2018
2,823
I can’t help but feel ashamed that I have a payee. But I have been judged harshly for for having SSI. The bitch said “I work with someone who has cancer and she never complains. I hate people who contribute nothing to society”. Oh that fucking cunt! I never talked about her on here before but it was back in 2015. I don’t even want to think about it.
 
The Blackangel

The Blackangel

Nyiach des uti nesi deh ahy.
Nov 3, 2018
209
I've been on disability since I was somewhere around 20, and I'm 36 now. I'm about a month and a half shy of my 37th. When I applied it was because of how misanthropic I am. But now I have the added bonus of advanced muscular dystrophy. So I'm also in a motherfucking wheelchair now. I'm a useless husk. All I am able to do anymore is eat sleep and shit.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
im nearing 30 and feel pathetic. I’ll never have a career. Being mentally ill as a teen is just a quirk, but it morphs into outcast.

Just another reason to ctb.
I never took disability I just decided to become a sex worker which I know is totally messed up and I pay a high price for it in many ways. My self worth is beyond destroyed and beyond repair. If I did get therapy I’m sure it would take years to undo the damage from multiple abortions and repeat heartbreaks if it’s even possible to recover. I do have emotional regulation problems and learning disability but for some reason I resented having to get on disability even though I probably would be better off now had I done so years ago. I’m not saying going on disability should be a source of shame and people who need it should not go on it, but I have a deep distrust of the system and because it doesn’t really help people lead quality lives but just gives u a little bit of money that u can barely survive on. Then u develop a dependence on the government and because whatever the government gives it can take away on a whim. It just didn’t make me feel at ease, plus the amount of time it takes u to get it and what a dreadful process this is. I’m not saying it should be easy but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who needs help and who just wants to use the system. It certainly doesn’t take years. You can investigate people and find out within a reasonable amount of time.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
There's nothing worse than being unable to work and having to answer "what do you do" questions. I am mentally ill, the medical system has failed me, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt and I can't get benefits because they don't really know what's going on with me. What a wonderful world.
Right? Lol! I really hate when people ask me what I do, this even comes from guys I see who pay me lol! Dude this is what I do, I don’t feel capable of holding a normal job because I can’t control my responses when I feel the rage come on in a work environment, or extreme frustration during the periods of idle time at many work places. I don’t know how to manage the constant changes in moods and stuff. I can handle people for an hour at a time lol!
 
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The Blackangel

The Blackangel

Nyiach des uti nesi deh ahy.
Nov 3, 2018
209
I didn't have a problem getting disability. The government always denies it when you apply, unless you're blind or quadriplegic or something like that. So you have to appeal. But for me on my first appeal I got the disability. And on average it goes up about $5 every year. $5 isn't enough to help with jack shit unless you just want a soda at a gas station, but at least it doesn't go down $5.
 
WaitingForTheBus

WaitingForTheBus

Student
Oct 27, 2018
136
Yes, particularly for the reasons that may seem insignificant to those that don't suffer from mental health issues. Not many people know why, but those that do, I sometimes feel like I am being judged and silently told to "harden the fuck up". It makes me feel weak.
 
Maravillosa

Maravillosa

Mistress of all she surveys
Sep 7, 2018
638
I didn't have a problem getting disability. The government always denies it when you apply, unless you're blind or quadriplegic or something like that. So you have to appeal. But for me on my first appeal I got the disability. And on average it goes up about $5 every year. $5 isn't enough to help with jack shit unless you just want a soda at a gas station, but at least it doesn't go down $5.

I began to receive SSI without having to make an appeal. I have no major physical health issues (OK, I have asthma, sleep apnea and hypothyroidism, but none of those are truly disabling for me). Of course, this was in 2004 -- standards might have tightened since then. Social Security does call me every year or two and ask for my bank statements to make sure that I am not scamming them or have other sources of income. And you are right -- once a year, the monthly amount of SSI increases by $5 or so.
 
Norest4thewicked

Norest4thewicked

Losing it
Nov 4, 2018
271
I was clinically diagnosed about a year and a half ago as a sociopath. I found that rather interesting.
ASPD. I got that too! Clinical depression, bi polar type one effective and anxiety. A therapists wet dream. Never been embarrassed by it. Every one I know knows 'I'm not quite right'. So sometimes I wear the fucker like a badge