Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
i think it’s my ptsd. It’s so agonizing. I may ctb soon just because of it. No wonder war vets kill themselves

It’s interesting. I spoke to my brother the other day and he was completely surprised that I feel anxious almost every second, even in my dreams. He would be one of several who would’ve been critical of my ctb. It just shows that family or others don’t understand. They hear “anxiety” and “depression” and relate it to their experiences but they haven’t necessarily felt it as deeply as you or I have. They conquered theirs and assume you can too but they just don’t know.
 
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Thinkinaboutit

Member
Jul 9, 2018
16
I can only imagine what you went through. I have my own demons and periodically they pop up and consume my mind. It was really bad during the first half of 2016. I was a living, breathing exhibit of severe depression. How i managed to keep going to work during that time, i dont know.
I was consumed by demons related to missed social and romantic opportunities related to aspergers and social anxiety, my relationship with my late dog, how i had mistreated some people in the past, how my dad was controlling my life, etc.It totally took over my mind and was driving me into the depths of depression. I had been taking a vitamin b supplement. I added some fish oil (what kind i dont remember) and my symptoms got better. Nowadays, when the oppression of my environment gets most acute, no supplement or anything else that i put in my body can stop me from trying to calm myself in part by thinking of CTBing.
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
i think it’s my ptsd. It’s so agonizing. I may ctb soon just because of it. No wonder war vets kill themselves

It’s interesting. I spoke to my brother the other day and he was completely surprised that I feel anxious almost every second, even in my dreams. He would be one of several who would’ve been critical of my ctb. It just shows that family or others don’t understand. They hear “anxiety” and “depression” and relate it to their experiences but they haven’t necessarily felt it as deeply as you or I have. They conquered theirs and assume you can too but they just don’t know.
The angst is probably because you are young and don’t have a productive outlet for the excess energy and pent up rage. I’m just guessing. What caused the PTSD?