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uxorious

uxorious

Member
Aug 17, 2018
59
The moment I really stop and think about all my problems , and how I’m not strong enough or can’t overcome not even one damn problem , I feel a tightness in my chest - like I am seriously TRAPPED in an existence of pain , failure , misery - really unending, utter misery. It sends me into such a panic...... Feels like this messed up nightmare I won’t wake from and it’s nonstop terror. Does anyone else feel like this??

I sometimes need to cut or drink to try and calm down.... earlier tonight , I used a lighter to burn myself just so I didn’t have to think about my crappy life for a moment. I have been trying to cut back on drinking but it’s just so damn hard because I spend hours in the day just staring at the wall and wishing I was dead.

I just need it all to stop.
 
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D

Done

Student
Jul 28, 2018
124
[
The moment I really stop and think about all my problems , and how I’m not strong enough or can’t overcome not even one damn problem , I feel a tightness in my chest - like I am seriously TRAPPED in an existence of pain , failure , misery - really unending, utter misery. It sends me into such a panic...... Feels like this messed up nightmare you just can’t wake up and it’s nonstop terror. Does anyone else feel like this??

I sometimes need to cut or drink to try and calm down.... earlier tonight , I used a lighter to burn myself just so I didn’t have to think about my crappy life for a moment. I have been trying to cut back on drinking but it’s just so damn hard because I spend hours in the day just staring at the wall and wishing I was dead.

I just need it all to stop.
Exactly this! You describe it perfectly! Like a never ending nightmare, worse than depression, just total despair and panic and terror.

Also have been drinking quite a bit too to calm down, but need to cut back because it makes it worse in the end.
 
D

Debbie

Member
Aug 20, 2018
13
[

Exactly this! You describe it perfectly! Like a never ending nightmare, worse than depression, just total despair and panic and terror.

Also have been drinking quite a bit too to calm down, but need to cut back because it makes it worse in the end.
I feel exactly the same
 
sadak_the_wanderer

sadak_the_wanderer

An appropriate painting
Mar 19, 2018
243
Mostly, life feels like a prison with a dull routine. Caged. Life sentence. Jail chow. Trapped with a bunch of hostile people who would rather not even see me.

I've been planning my jailbreak under everyone's noses.
 
Smilla

Smilla

-
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
The moment I really stop and think about all my problems , and how I’m not strong enough or can’t overcome not even one damn problem , I feel a tightness in my chest - like I am seriously TRAPPED in an existence of pain , failure , misery - really unending, utter misery. It sends me into such a panic...... Feels like this messed up nightmare I won’t wake from and it’s nonstop terror. Does anyone else feel like this??

I sometimes need to cut or drink to try and calm down.... earlier tonight , I used a lighter to burn myself just so I didn’t have to think about my crappy life for a moment. I have been trying to cut back on drinking but it’s just so damn hard because I spend hours in the day just staring at the wall and wishing I was dead.

I just need it all to stop.

Completely relate, especially to the terror as you described it.

Am in constant emotional pain so I cope by sleeping a lot and abusing alcohol.
 
J

Journeytoletgo

Elementalist
May 14, 2018
853
Same! I am in emotional pain as well. What has led me to these feelings is years ago I developed severe acne when I turned 14. I lost my social development and my care free personality I don’t feel like myself anymore people made the meanest comments to me about my acne calling me ugly, they excluded me, I felt so miserable all year around from age 14(8th grade) to my final year of high school age 19. I just haven’t felt like myself. Nothing cures my condition I want to die I’m so miserable inside. After that I thought I could make a turn around, by exercising and eating healthy in which I did until I begun to want to gain dating experience know one told me how emotional penetrated sex for a woman, I had my first time with this guy after casually seeing him for months. Then I lost my virginity to him. It destroyed my life and ruined me when I found out he was a player he was south Asian culture and in his culture he had an arranged marriage I was devastated and traumatized. Because of my naivety he took advantage of my ignorance. I feel sick writing this out. In fact I feel horrible, I haven’t been my self since this I turned to alcohol to numb the pain and I became really anxious around people. I think I’m suffering paranoia and post traumatic stress from these events. Then recently I made a mistake with another guy because I been feeling rejected socially, isolated and lonely I was drunk and offered him sex we had a one night stand . I regret this choice, then I kept coming back to him for more and I got hurt. I told him my feelings months ago how I felt randomly after not seeing him in months I went to him confused and told his friends I blocked him on everything I cried and told him all he sees me as is the hook up and back up girl and I feel I’m his second choice I cried and I vomit in his toilet I’m so embarrassed and I can’t live with myself . I know it’s lust but he’s all I desire.I want this all to stop
 
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WitheringAway

WitheringAway

Ima shake the champagne bottle...
Jun 23, 2020
358
Seeing those comments from 2018 by people who disappeared and were last seen on the site years ago is so eerie and sad. We’re gonna be disappearing too soon just like them. I wonder what happened to all the commenters here :(
 
T

TooConscious

Elementalist
Sep 16, 2020
839
I fear that existence could be a trap and I could end up in a worse position if I try to end it, for example if this is a prison sentence we have to see through and if I kill myself end up in a different dimension that's worse. Life loves to take the piss so it certainly seems probable to me.

Nobody has ever tried to comprehend what I feel here, I don't know what's so hard to understand...
Can anyone imagine not even having death to look at as an escape?
Thinking death doesn't exist and the hell just goes on for eternity.
 
X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,651
Seeing those comments from 2018 by people who disappeared and were last seen on the site years ago is so eerie and sad. We’re gonna be disappearing too soon just like them. I wonder what happened to all the commenters here :(
I mean, I think most of them are probably alive. They probably bounced back to the point that they’re functional, if still suffering tremendously.

Realistically, that’s probably where I’ll end up. Not happy about that outcome in the slightest.

I wonder what it will take for things to get bad enough that I finally go through with this. I think my parents will have died. I will be unemployed and alone as usual. I’ll scrape up enough of my remaining funds, hock all the rest at the Value Pawn, and buy a gun. I’ll blow my brains out in the parking lot like an inconsiderate dipshit.
 
LeavingForever

LeavingForever

-
Sep 24, 2020
7,592
I can relate to this. I have always struggled in life really, and to me death is freedom from this life I never asked for. Existence is a burden. Sometimes the negative emotions can get quite overwhelming.
 
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Reactions: newave3
FireFox

FireFox

Wizard
Apr 8, 2020
675
Yes everyday I feel so trapped and I can't take it anymore.

I can no longer see it getting better anymore. I have been unemployed for 2 years since graduating and confused about how to go about my day. Everyone is doing something and has a purpose except me.

I feel like no employer will ever hire me because I didn't work at 18 or 16. Being unemployed I feel so powerless because my application is in the hands of that 1 employer.

I have a law degree and done voluntary work in the past but employers don't care.

LITERALLY I CAN'T OVERCOME THIS .

Being unemployed and not having it all together is biggest reason why i want to kill myself. It is humiliating being unemployed because I have failed . I am 24 and failed to have it all.
 
X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,651
Yes everyday I feel so trapped and I can't take it anymore.

I can no longer see it getting better anymore. I have been unemployed for 2 years since graduating and confused about how to go about my day. Everyone is doing something and has a purpose except me.

I feel like no employer will ever hire me because I didn't work at 18 or 16. Being unemployed I feel so powerless because my application is in the hands of that 1 employer.

I have a law degree and done voluntary work in the past but employers don't care.

LITERALLY I CAN'T OVERCOME THIS .

Being unemployed and not having it all together is biggest reason why i want to kill myself. It is humiliating being unemployed because I have failed . I am 24 and failed to have it all.
I’m 28 and doing only slightly better with a useless degree. Do you owe money on your degree? Could you do teaching?
 
B

Beached_whale

Member
Jul 9, 2021
43
Yes everyday I feel so trapped and I can't take it anymore.

I can no longer see it getting better anymore. I have been unemployed for 2 years since graduating and confused about how to go about my day. Everyone is doing something and has a purpose except me.

I feel like no employer will ever hire me because I didn't work at 18 or 16. Being unemployed I feel so powerless because my application is in the hands of that 1 employer.

I have a law degree and done voluntary work in the past but employers don't care.

LITERALLY I CAN'T OVERCOME THIS .

Being unemployed and not having it all together is biggest reason why i want to kill myself. It is humiliating being unemployed because I have failed . I am 24 and failed to have it all.
I'm late 20s, never worked and have a shit degree that took me double the time it should have. What's your financial situation? Could you perhaps do a different vocational degree if you can't get any work? Also I know this is cliche by now but have you considered programming?
 
FireFox

FireFox

Wizard
Apr 8, 2020
675
I’m 28 and doing only slightly better with a useless degree. Do you owe money on your degree? Could you do teaching?
What is your degree is?
Teaching no I prefer to work with people my age or older.

I have not got the motivation anymore to do anything. I used to so motivated and driven while af university but after graduating university I have no motivation to do anything and just struggle everyday to make a routine

I wake up at 1pm and just go reddit and the Internet in general. I apply apply jobs but I have given up now.
I am 24 and never worked no employer will hire me everyone has thier first job at 18.
Nobody gets their first job at 24
I ruined my entire life and pretty much accepted it . My life is over .
I'm late 20s, never worked and have a shit degree that took me double the time it should have. What's your financial situation? Could you perhaps do a different vocational degree if you can't get any work? Also I know this is cliche by now but have you considered programming?
I live with my parents. I just don't care anymore I can't fixt this problem anymore and so much bigger than me.
Nobody gets their first job at 24 . Nobody will hire a 24 year old who's never worked .
My mum is trying to help me find a job it is embarrassing because I am adult i should do everything myself.
By the people cared and tried to help me find a Job it is now too late
 
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X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,651
What is your degree is?
Teaching no I prefer to work with people my age or older.

I have not got the motivation anymore to do anything. I used to so motivated and driven while af university but after graduating university I have no motivation to do anything and just struggle everyday to make a routine

I wake up at 1pm and just go reddit and the Internet in general. I apply apply jobs but I have given up now.
I am 24 and never worked no employer will hire me everyone has thier first job at 18.
Nobody gets their first job at 24
I ruined my entire life and pretty much accepted it . My life is over .

I live with my parents. I just don't care anymore I can't fixt this problem anymore and so much bigger than me.
Nobody gets their first job at 24 . Nobody will hire a 24 year old who's never worked .
My mum is trying to help me find a job it is embarrassing because I am adult i should do everything myself.
By the people cared and tried to help me find a Job it is now too late
Psychology, and I’m sorry. Life is bullshit. Society is bullshit. Maybe the misanthropes here are right and those in charge should all burn. I don’t know what I would do in your situation.
 
Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
643
Somewhat, I know I need to be making something of this life. I'm old enough, there aren't any excuses anymore, but I'm so plagued with depression, fear about the future/fear of failure, and suicidal thoughts that I just don't see the point in trying. I've tried to get better and nothing works. So yeah, I guess I'd say I feel trapped until I either kill myself or things take a magical turnaround.
 
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