maktubler

maktubler

Member
May 22, 2018
66
I am 32 and I feel exhausted by life. I don't think I have many more years of "this" left in me. I always feel like I am about to fell down and die while walking. The tiredness is deep in my soul. I don't know why my body keeps going.
 
BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
Very much so. I've never known like so many people seem to be able to, I am okay materially speaking for now but I don't know how to have friendships and am a virgin nearly at 30, and have lost many potential partners due to my own sabotage, the humiliation is very bad when they move on and praise their new boyfriend, but usually I deserve it, because I have never known how to love. I am too jaded and cynical too, and the Internet age does not help things in many ways, it's just different, but we are experiencing a whole new level of alienation and loneliness I feel, a sort of soft death for many.
 
skitliv

skitliv

Le mort joyeux
Jul 11, 2018
485
Very much so. I've never known like so many people seem to be able to, I am okay materially speaking for now but I don't know how to have friendships and am a virgin nearly at 30, and have lost many potential partners due to my own sabotage, the humiliation is very bad when they move on and praise their new boyfriend, but usually I deserve it, because I have never known how to love. I am too jaded and cynical too, and the Internet age does not help things in many ways, it's just different, but we are experiencing a whole new level of alienation and loneliness I feel, a sort of soft death for many.
I agree with you as I'm in a similar situation
 
BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
I agree with you as I'm in a similar situation
Thank you, it seems so many around me have relationships and sex so easily, just, they suffer more than me yet rise to greater heights than me, and it is very humiliating. I almost was able to lose my virginity to a girl but messed it up, as I have spent so much time online and using porn that i don't know how to be intimate in real life, I can hardly video and even voice chat, and then it's just maybe there wasn't physical chemistry but there was mental chemistry? It's so confusing these days. Then she fell in love with a boy half my age, and they had sex and she described it. It was very humiliating to me, though I think they feel a bit bad now, but she is very cold to me now and I have been giving her money but it's just not the same, I am so very lonely. But I should clarify when she moved on, I killed her in a roleplay so that pretty much sealed the deal, but they know my rl address and he has street smarts so who knows, he may come to have a hit put on me or do it himself, he stabbed his abusive father before and is a much better person than me honestly, he hates people like me but he's trying to be nice, but I just can't keep myself from her. But I brought her hopes up so many times that I would visit but just panicked and stayed away, she took it as me not caring. I do but I just have issues and past trauma. She has warmed back up to me a bit but it's very awkward now, I don't want to get between them but I can't get over her it seems.

Sorry to thread hijack no reply is expected just ended up venting, sorry.
 
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Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
I've never known like so many people seem to be able to
The most part of people thinks living is the only solution, they handle it because the other option is death and usually they fear it a lot. So they decide to continue their life.

-----------------

I'm very tired too. Recently I made two threads: one exposong how tired I am of everything and other saying how shit is existing and the consequences of it for everyone.

Basically I think it's something unworthy when the negative things consume you completely making you leave all the good things because you lost interest in them or they never fulfill you enough.

It's really tiring and nothing can make it bearable.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
Deep, unabating fatigue is essentially my default state, and has been for many years now. Exhaustion hovers over me like a cartoon rain cloud. As a hermit for the last 11 years, life has basically just been a stagnant pool of tediousness, boredom & the same old shit playing out day after day. It almost feels like sitting alone in a waiting room, with the lights turned down low, restless & annoyed, but, at the same time, totally drained of energy. Wanting desperately to leave, but not really having the ability to care either way. (*sigh*) I don't know. Whatever

1*oE9CiAV7-qusVxBe38qPrg.jpeg
.
 
S

ScaredOfLife

Arcanist
Jul 9, 2018
441
Deep, unabating fatigue is essentially my default state, and has been for many years now. Exhaustion hovers over me like a cartoon rain cloud. As a hermit for the last 11 years, life has basically just been a stagnant pool of tediousness, boredom & the same old shit playing out day after day. It almost feels like sitting alone in a waiting room, with the lights turned down low, restless & annoyed, but, at the same time, totally drained of energy. Wanting desperately to leave, but not really having the ability to care either way. (*sigh*) I don't know. Whatever

1*oE9CiAV7-qusVxBe38qPrg.jpeg
.

I like your signature quote, by Kilgore Trout. I'm a big Kurt Vonnegut fan. I've met him. I've been to the Kurt Vonnegut museum and library, I had him sign one of his books, and I recently bought a print signed by him. I've read most of his books. I was sad when he died, but alas, he was old. Lucky guy is at peace now.
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
I haven't read all the posts, but I was just gonna say what I've felt for most of my life is not so much fatigue, as existential anxiety
 
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T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
When your default is stopping. Just worn out by it all and wanting to lay down. I get it.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
2,981
I am 32 and I feel exhausted by life. I don't think I have many more years of "this" left in me. I always feel like I am about to fell down and die while walking. The tiredness is deep in my soul. I don't know why my body keeps going.

I feel exhausted every day also … even on my days off from work. My entire body feels like I just need to fall asleep for eternity and it still wouldn't be enough.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
625
I am 32 and I feel exhausted by life. I don't think I have many more years of "this" left in me. I always feel like I am about to fell down and die while walking. The tiredness is deep in my soul. I don't know why my body keeps going.
Yes. So very much. I am glad I am not the only one .... but I am so sad I am not the only one. Fuck this place ... leave a person to be drained so badly
 
shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Very much so. I've never known like so many people seem to be able to, I am okay materially speaking for now but I don't know how to have friendships and am a virgin nearly at 30, and have lost many potential partners due to my own sabotage, the humiliation is very bad when they move on and praise their new boyfriend, but usually I deserve it, because I have never known how to love. I am too jaded and cynical too, and the Internet age does not help things in many ways, it's just different, but we are experiencing a whole new level of alienation and loneliness I feel, a sort of soft death for many.

Trust me, it could be a whole lot worse. I am 43, and never even had a date. I have been rejected by every single girl I have ever asked out. It is all because of being very unattractive. It doesn't matter if it was online, talk line, in person, set up on dates, etc. The result was the same, rejection. Now I am getting older and poorer, so there is no chance of it ever happening to me.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
2,981
Yes. So very much. I am glad I am not the only one .... but I am so sad I am not the only one. Fuck this place ... leave a person to be drained so badly

I feel the same … it's nice to know I'm not the only one but it sucks for all of us that are going through this... everyday/ :(
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
2,981
Trust me, it could be a whole lot worse. I am 43, and never even had a date. I have been rejected by every single girl I have ever asked out. It is all because of being very unattractive. It doesn't matter if it was online, talk line, in person, set up on dates, etc. The result was the same, rejection. Now I am getting older and poorer, so there is no chance of it ever happening to me.

I'm beyond the point of dating anymore. I'm unattractive as well. Used to be a little more attractive but I gained weight.
It doesn't matter anyway. I would just make someone else miserable if they were with me. Also poor as well.
I've heard money makes you way more attractive if you are ugly. Ask Melania ;) jk :)
 
S

Sternum

Student
May 12, 2018
121
It doesn't matter anyway. I would just make someone else miserable if they were with me.
Exactly how I feel. Dating is definitely nowhere in my future, and I don’t care. Where in the past I would have preferred it, I don’t process In my mind the possibility now. If I had a wish from a genie, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything to wish for.
 
shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Exactly how I feel. Dating is definitely nowhere in my future, and I don’t care. Where in the past I would have preferred it, I don’t process In my mind the possibility now. If I had a wish from a genie, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything to wish for.

My testosterone levels have crashed, so I do not care at all now either.

I'm beyond the point of dating anymore. I'm unattractive as well. Used to be a little more attractive but I gained weight.
It doesn't matter anyway. I would just make someone else miserable if they were with me. Also poor as well.
I've heard money makes you way more attractive if you are ugly. Ask Melania ;) jk :)

That is not really the case. Attractive woman will settle for what they call the beta male provider, but then they will screw the hot alpha guy who comes over to do the pool. This happens all the time. Attraction is not a choice, meaning a woman cannot be attracted to someone who they aren't. They will settle for the ugly rich guy, but they will never have that raw attraction to him. In general, being tall, lean with a chiseled face and fit body are what they really like.

I thought I would add this. If you looked like this picture, you could get pretty much any girl you want, even if you were dirt poor.
 

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BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
The most part of people thinks living is the only solution, they handle it because the other option is death and usually they fear it a lot. So they decide to continue their life.

-----------------

I'm very tired too. Recently I made two threads: one exposong how tired I am of everything and other saying how shit is existing and the consequences of it for everyone.

Basically I think it's something unworthy when the negative things consume you completely making you leave all the good things because you lost interest in them or they never fulfill you enough.

It's really tiring and nothing can make it bearable.
Trust me, it could be a whole lot worse. I am 43, and never even had a date. I have been rejected by every single girl I have ever asked out. It is all because of being very unattractive. It doesn't matter if it was online, talk line, in person, set up on dates, etc. The result was the same, rejection. Now I am getting older and poorer, so there is no chance of it ever happening to me.


Thank you for that, it is comforting, though I am sorry to hear that has been the case for you <3.
 
S

ScaredOfLife

Arcanist
Jul 9, 2018
441
My testosterone levels have crashed, so I do not care at all now either.



That is not really the case. Attractive woman will settle for what they call the beta male provider, but then they will screw the hot alpha guy who comes over to do the pool. This happens all the time. Attraction is not a choice, meaning a woman cannot be attracted to someone who they aren't. They will settle for the ugly rich guy, but they will never have that raw attraction to him. In general, being tall, lean with a chiseled face and fit body are what they really like.

I thought I would add this. If you looked like this picture, you could get pretty much any girl you want, even if you were dirt poor.

If it makes you feel better, I don't find the guy in that picture attractive. I've never found guys like that attractive. I know some women do, but not me.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
2,981
Exactly how I feel. Dating is definitely nowhere in my future, and I don’t care. Where in the past I would have preferred it, I don’t process In my mind the possibility now. If I had a wish from a genie, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything to wish for.


If I had a genie I would wish for a peaceful death. ;)
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
2,981
My testosterone levels have crashed, so I do not care at all now either.



That is not really the case. Attractive woman will settle for what they call the beta male provider, but then they will screw the hot alpha guy who comes over to do the pool. This happens all the time. Attraction is not a choice, meaning a woman cannot be attracted to someone who they aren't. They will settle for the ugly rich guy, but they will never have that raw attraction to him. In general, being tall, lean with a chiseled face and fit body are what they really like.

I thought I would add this. If you looked like this picture, you could get pretty much any girl you want, even if you were dirt poor.

If I looked like that guy I could be an actor or a model. ;) I would most likely have a better life and a super hot girlfriend.
I know "They" always say that looks don't matter but that is a lie … for men or women.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
2,981
If it makes you feel better, I don't find the guy in that picture attractive. I've never found guys like that attractive. I know some women do, but not me.

So you like the guys who rock the dad bod ? ;)
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
Wait till ure 40 omg Lol! Talk about exhausted by life. Especially if u weren’t very lucky in relationships and employment. Basically if the first half of your life was spent unwisely, the fatigue in the second half is even worse than it might be otherwise. I thought my functioning would not be that much worse at 40. I mean I function ok but I’m just not as energetic as I used to be. I notice my fluid iq decreasing lol! I feel like I have to reinvent the wheel when I try to learn something that actually shouldn’t be that hard. Your crystal iq stays intact but u do get dumber with age and especially if u aren’t doing physical heart pumping activity and continuing to work your brain.