• Hey Visitor,

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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Yeah, I've been this way since I was a kid. It's just that I know, no matter what I chase after, it's all meaningless and won't last. I've tried lots of distractions, drugs, men & kink, study/work, material crap, hobbies, etc... nothing gives me much satisfaction. like the song.
 
S

SashaBertal

New Member
Apr 12, 2018
2
Yeah, I've been this way since I was a kid. It's just that I know, no matter what I chase after, it's all meaningless and won't last. I've tried lots of distractions, drugs, men & kink, study/work, material crap, hobbies, etc... nothing gives me much satisfaction. like the song.

Pretty much exactly the same as me substituting men for women and yeah, nothing has brought me happiness. Sucks
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Pretty much exactly the same as me substituting men for women and yeah, nothing has brought me happiness. Sucks

People always tell me I should do more for others, not focus on myself, and I do (err did, I'm in too shit a state now). But it didn't feel like it was really doing much and the cost to my own well being was very high. I hope those people I helped are happy, but it wasn't worth sticking around for. It's like, there is so much shit wrong with this cesspool planet, I can't make enough of an impact to justify the personal price I had to pay. I feel like I'm being tortured. How can I save anyone? I can't even save myself. Maybe that makes me a selfish cunt, who knows.
 
thatguyakira123

thatguyakira123

Experienced
Apr 10, 2018
212
My mind ruins verything thing for me. So it's more life even if I have those brief moments of enorphin, my mind ruins it.
 
skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

-
Apr 10, 2018
136
Yeah Ive been like this for a very long time. I dont think I remember a time being actually happy. Sure there are a few things that make me smile and sometimes good for a few minutes, but never happy.
 
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Fylobatica

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
365
I kind of solved the problem, because I realized that being happy doesn't make existence more bearable or significant, at least for me.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
I kind of solved the problem, because I realized that being happy doesn't make existence more bearable or significant, at least for me.

Yeah, I'd agree. It's more about just trying to not be completely miserable, rather than trying to achieve some elusive happiness.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
Well, I can feel happiness. I just don't most of the time. And by most, I truly mean it.
 
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Safira

Safira

An empty soul isolated and fuelled by desperation
Apr 3, 2018
40
Yeah, i get you man, these past few weeks have been nothing but numbness for me with flickers of respite. Hopefully you are able to make those moments last a bit longer soon.
 
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W

wagram

Member
Sep 16, 2018
20
Flashes of hope/ joy somedays. It dont last longe, and it's worse after.
I just wanna end it