Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
No matter how much effort I put into solving my problems, there are no lasting changes. And there’s always a new debilitating problem to be added to the queue.
I’ve just about exhausted all solutions.

I’m surprised I’ve lived to be almost 30.Given my issues, it wouldn’t have been much of a shock if I caught the bus as a teen, so maybe that’s a kind of accomplishment.
 
bag.of.cats

bag.of.cats

depressed cats
Apr 10, 2018
96
I know it sounds stupid, but it's like my life is scripted and no matter what I do, I always end up on the same path. It makes me seriously doubt your decisions are actually your own (i.e. free will), with the exception of the minor ones that don't affect your story. I sometimes ponder if suicide is the only choice you ever have or if that's predetermined, too.
 
Last edited:
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I know it sounds stupid, but it's like my life is scripted and no matter what I do, I always end up on the same path. It makes me seriously doubt your decisions are actually your own (i.e. free will), with the exception of the minor ones that don't affect your story. I sometimes ponder if suicide is the only choice you ever have or if that's predetermined, too.

If it’s scripted, who wrote the script?
 
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M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Probably some asshole.
I was going to suggest a name for this asshole, but I will probably be banned for that (because hating on women is fine, but how dare oen criticize religions). Anyways...

I don't think I am meant to die by suicide, but I have sort of thought about dying by my own hands since I was a kid. As a kid, I fantasized a lot about dying to save someone I loved (some random school crush) and from my age of 15 or so onward, suicide never left my mind.
 
shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
If anyone was meant to die by suicide, it would be me. I have fetal alcohol syndrome. The average age of death for someone with that disease is 34. I am 43 so I should have been gone long ago. The #1 cause of death is suicide! Unless you have someone to support you financially, you only have 3 outcomes which are locked up in an institution whether it be jail or mental hospital, homelessness or death. One thing I read recently that was disturbing is the fact that the smarter someone is that has fetal alcohol syndrome, the MORE likely it is that they will take their life since they are more aware of how screwed they are.
 

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shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Same. here. I knew that pretty early in my life actually. And I always told myself I wouldn't get older than 30. And recently I reduced that number to 25. Looks like I can stick to my promise.

I said the same exact thing when I was younger. I thought 30 was old and before I hit it, I was going to end it. However, it did not work out that way when I hit 30 and I changed my mind. Now I am 43 and can safely say I will not see 45 with 100% certainty.
 
Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
Yes. Everyone says “we all die in the end” but they never tell us how. Well, I’m going to tell them how I’m going to die. I don’t care if someone tells me it’s unnatural. I’m just doing what everyone else does eventually but I’m getting it done and over with sooner.
 
skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

-
Apr 10, 2018
136
For years now I've felt that suicide is inevitable. It started with me saying that I won't live past 18, now I'm about to turn 20. Logically I know I can change this. I'm just too afraid of life, so I keep the idea that suicide is inevitable as a way to cope. It's like having a plan B in case life gets too difficult.
 
N

Nothing

New Member
Jun 21, 2018
4
The thought has been on my mind for ages, it feels a bit wrong at the beginning like being to young to die. But what if that's the way it has to be? I don't want to live with suicidal thoughts, i don't want to live thinking that I could be better, I don't want to live being a disappointment for everybody. I just can't get my shit together when I know I'm just a simple waste of air.
I know the only way to end it all, the pain and the sadness is killing myself. So probably not, not born to suicide but that doesn't mean I can't.
 
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Samuel

Samuel

Wise
Apr 25, 2018
243
If anyone was meant to die by suicide, it would be me. I have fetal alcohol syndrome. The average age of death for someone with that disease is 34. I am 43 so I should have been gone long ago. The #1 cause of death is suicide! Unless you have someone to support you financially, you only have 3 outcomes which are locked up in an institution whether it be jail or mental hospital, homelessness or death. One thing I read recently that was disturbing is the fact that the smarter someone is that has fetal alcohol syndrome, the MORE likely it is that they will take their life since they are more aware of how screwed they are.
I wish I lived to only 34