Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
i don’t want to die (I want to be dead). But I also don’t want to be alive. The friends I had are long gone. Even if we were to meet again, it wouldn’t be the same. Times and personalities have changed.

As the years go by, I feel less attached to this world. I feel uneasy all the time. Buying the occasional junk food item or going to the movies isn’t enough anymore. Something has changed. I always feel like I’m somewhere eery like in a horror movie. I imagine this feeling will only intensify into my 30s and beyond.

Maybe this is what it’s like to lose your mind.
 
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K

Karlala

Member
Jun 27, 2018
75
i don’t want to die (I want to be dead). But I also don’t want to be alive. The friends I had are long gone. Even if we were to meet again, it wouldn’t be the same. Times and personalities have changed.

As the years go by, I feel less attached to this world. I feel uneasy all the time. Buying the occasional junk food item or going to the movies isn’t enough anymore. Something has changed. I always feel like I’m somewhere eery like in a horror movie. I imagine this feeling will only intensify into my 30s and beyond.
I cant go out during the day all I see are families together and I miss mine so much it hurts I just cry it wont ve dark for another few hours then what
 
Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
I guess it's always been about belonging, feeling attached. Lose the belonging and attachment, we become robotic ,dazed and uncomfortable.
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
i don’t want to die (I want to be dead). But I also don’t want to be alive. The friends I had are long gone. Even if we were to meet again, it wouldn’t be the same. Times and personalities have changed.

As the years go by, I feel less attached to this world. I feel uneasy all the time. Buying the occasional junk food item or going to the movies isn’t enough anymore. Something has changed. I always feel like I’m somewhere eery like in a horror movie. I imagine this feeling will only intensify into my 30s and beyond.

Maybe this is what it’s like to lose your mind.

Personally what I've always told people (kind of untruthfully) was, "I don't want to kill myself I just want to die," but it's just semantics. I don't want to experience the dying process either, I just want to be dead.

Anyways, My mood varies from day to day or time to time. Sometimes I feel content, sometimes generally unhappy, but every once in awhile, I start to sort of panic about the fact that I'm alive (sort of an existential crisis I guess?). This happened to me recently, and for maybe a half hour or something, I was walking around, grabbing my head, doing other weird stuff, and saying stuff to myself like, "someone please kill me! Please let me die! Why won't the world let me die!?" It was pretty bad. Sounds kind of embarrassing when I write it out like that, but... well, yeah : D
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Personally what I've always told people (kind of untruthfully) was, "I don't want to kill myself I just want to die," but it's just semantics. I don't want to experience the dying process either, I just want to be dead.

Anyways, My mood varies from day to day or time to time. Sometimes I feel content, sometimes generally unhappy, but every once in awhile, I start to sort of panic about the fact that I'm alive (sort of an existential crisis I guess?). This happened to me recently, and for maybe a half hour or something, I was walking around, grabbing my head, doing other weird stuff, and saying stuff to myself like, "someone please kill me! Please let me die! Why won't the world let me die!?" It was pretty bad. Sounds kind of embarrassing when I write it out like that, but... well, yeah : D
Were you doing that in public?
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
No no no, haha.... No matter what, I always maintain my cool around other people. I was at home, by myself... in the middle of the night : (

Every day is torturous. The worst part is when we die we won’t know we were ever here. I want closure. I want to know when I’m dead before I get everlasting peace
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
Every day is torturous. The worst part is when we die we won’t know we were ever here. I want closure. I want to know when I’m dead before I get everlasting peace

The disturbing part for me has always been the incomprehensible nature of death. It's kind of Ironic, actually. I'm afraid of being dead, so I want to die so I can stop being afraid of what it will be like to be dead. That's only part of the reason though.
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
Every day is torturous. The worst part is when we die we won’t know we were ever here. I want closure. I want to know when I’m dead before I get everlasting peace

Oh, by the way, on an unrelated note, your avatar..... great show : D
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
The disturbing part for me has always been the incomprehensible nature of death. It's kind of Ironic, actually. I'm afraid of being dead, so I want to die so I can stop being afraid of what it will be like to be dead. That's only part of the reason though.
Me too. The suspense is terrible
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Uneasy? No, not really. Tired? You better believe it. Either way, I usually feel quite unpleasant most of the time, so the end result is mostly the same.

If+youre+a+parent+or+babysitter+watching+small+kids+they+_fb84c72bfc58bdbb87d56ff435dda2c2.jpg
 
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D

dwimplepeen213

Member
Jun 26, 2018
37
I guess it's always been about belonging, feeling attached. Lose the belonging and attachment, we become robotic ,dazed and uncomfortable.

This definitely. I feel really uncomfortable in every way and detached