• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

Broken Widow

Broken Widow

Wildlife crisis
Aug 20, 2018
Doesn't matter if you were officially married or not, just in a serious relationship with someone who then died.

I am. This shit has me fucked up for life. Part of me died with him, I wish all of me had. I wish I could just die of a broken heart like old people do. I fucking miss him, he was the only person in my life that understood me.

He died of cancer. I wish I could trade places with him, or gone with him.


May 29, 2018
yes I´m something like that. My big love hanged herself (she was serious ill) when I was 20. Sortly after this I also tried to hang myself but failed.. She asked me if I wanted to hang with her, but I was too afraid. I wish I would have done that


New Member
Aug 30, 2018
Yes. My husband died coming up on 14 years ago next month. Our wedding anniversary would have been next week... This time of the year just sucks for me. For many years I kept his last bottle of super-user-strength oxycontin (he also died from cancer) - hoping I could figure out who could raise our son..but with ups and downs finally got past the worst of the depression. Only here I am again. My son is now 16.5. I'm in an ok marriage, but I just miss my first husband with all my heart. I am frustrated with the world around me and am trying to figure out how damaged my son would be if I left now. I'd like to leave in a way that would not raise suspicion, so he would be ok, and potentially live a life much happier than mine. I see/read all the posts about suicide prevention, but for the love of God, I've been in this delusional state of missing him for so long...no amount of yoga, self-reflection, drugs has gotten me past this pull to just be with him again. I don't want help, I just want to stop feeling this way and take my chances that he's somewhere waiting for me.
I am really sorry for your loss, it's a surreal situation to be in at any age.
  • Like
Reactions: bbq1 and lv-gras