F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Yes, I have been a hermit most of my life besides a few cohabitations in my 20’s and early 30’s. After that I swore I would never live with anybody again unless they were just that awesome. It’s not good because I tend to hide and isolate. I’m also introverted more than extrovert. My issue might be borderline personality disorder or complex ptsd. It’s one of the two. It sucks because I generally enjoy being around people but at some point I went too far off course and started to cut contact with most people. I know it’s not good for me.
 
Smilla

Smilla

-
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
I’m practically agoraphobic now, rarely leave the house unless absolutely necessary.

And now I only feel comfortable speaking with other suicidal folks who “get it”; other attempts at social interactions either make me anxious or feeling even more alone.
 
L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,871
I consider myself as a hikikomori although I go out sometimes but very rarely interact with others and I hate interacting with others (even online I can hate it)
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Finally other people who struggle with the same stuff I do, I don’t feel so alone. I heard about hikikomori and watched that documentary and totally could relate. I think to an extent it’s because I’m not participating in a meaningful way in society.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I was a social person like most people until 2015... Before 2015, I could walk up to a stranger, and become friends with that person easily. I had friends, got invited to parties etc. I was confident and good at socializing with people. I could meet strangers and we would have conversations for hours on trains, buses etc. Strangers would invite me to their homes. Then in 2015, my PTSD became more severe. Now I only interact with people when I have no choice. And I can't interact with people, unless I take some Xanax first. And even with the Xanax, I have difficulty socializing with people. So I guess I'm kind of a hermit, now.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I was a social person like most people until 2015... Before 2015, I could walk up to a stranger, and become friends with that person easily. I had friends, got invited to parties etc. I was confident and good at socializing with people. I could meet strangers and we would have conversations for hours on trains, buses etc. Strangers would invite me to their homes. Then in 2015, my PTSD became more severe. Now I only interact with people when I have no choice. And I can't interact with people, unless I take some Xanax first. So I guess I'm kind of a hermit, now.
Do u know what might have made the ptsd worse? Like did something happen?
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
Yep. Been a hikikomori for 11 years now. I've mentioned this a couple times before here, but my total time spent outside in these last 11 years (including time spent in a vehicle) is almost certainly less than 150-200 hours. And again, I literally can't even remember the last time I was outside completely on my own. Isolation is what I live and breath. I did finally go for a late night drive with my mom recently, after close to a year without leaving the house. Didn't get out of the car, though. Not sure if I'll do it again. I'll probably just end up spending another huge chunk of months indoors like I've always done. Go out for a brief drive with my mother since I don't have my license, spend upwards of a few months without leaving the house, go for another drive, spend another few months in the house (etc, etc.) I'm basically living the life of Dae-su Oh from the Korean film Oldboy. Only 4 more years and I'll have been in this room for as long as he was in his. I've yet to see anyone online who can match up to that same level of voluntary confinement in a similar way to myself. Kinda depressing, to be honest. I'm the hermit of hermits.

600px-OldboyDerringer2.JPG
 
Fylobatica

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
365
Yes, but it's not because I lack social skills, I just have better things to do. I don't feel a thing when I share conversations with others IRL, it mostly ends up in me being bored or irked because either other people misunderstand what I'm trying to say or twist and manipulate it to the extent they start hating on me.
I went to a concert in the last months, but I didn't feel anything. I'd much rather stay at home reading, thinking, listening to music, watching movies, whatever's good as long as I'm in deep touch with my mind and my thoughts
 
Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
371
I've been self isolating for a long time because of depression.

Interacting with people, talking to old friends etc. is just painful, i'd rather be alone. I avoid phone calls, moved cities, stopped using facebook, etc. for years so besides family i'm mostly alone. I don't have any ill will towards any of my old friends, I wish them well. My brother is hyper-social so I still socialize with him and his friends a fair bit although I go through long periods where i avoid him as well.

If I lived in Norway where the prisons are amazing i'd commit offences on purpose to be alone.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
I have been a "hikikomori" (I am not Japanese, only descendant, so it feels weird to call myself that) since I was 19 or so. I am 27 now. I am not a NEET because I actually study (drawing classes) twice a week, but it is mostly just a distraction to me. I have no interest in following a career in anything.

That said, although I say I have been a hikikomori for 8 years or so, I have been the definition of an isolated person since I was a kid. I had very few friends and lovers in life. I was always one of the kids no one picked to work with in group activities in school. Etc etc.

I never cared much though. I don't like this world and being isolated is better for me since I can just focus on escapism and stuff without disturbances.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
I would like it but I'm condemned to interact with persons who we hate each other everyday, at home and outside.
 
deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
Yep. Been a hikikomori for 11 years now. I've mentioned this a couple times before here, but my total time spent outside in these last 11 years (including time spent in a vehicle) is almost certainly less than 150-200 hours. And again, I literally can't even remember the last time I was outside completely on my own. Isolation is what I live and breath. I did finally go for a late night drive with my mom recently, after close to a year without leaving the house. Didn't get out of the car, though. Not sure if I'll do it again. I'll probably just end up spending another huge chunk of months indoors like I've always done. Go out for a brief drive with my mother since I don't have my license, spend upwards of a few months without leaving the house, go for another drive, spend another few months in the house (etc, etc.) I'm basically living the life of Dae-su Oh from the Korean film Oldboy. Only 4 more years and I'll have been in this room for as long as he was in his. I've yet to see anyone online who can match up to that same level of voluntary confinement in a similar way to myself. Kinda depressing, to be honest. I'm the hermit of hermits.
I have been a hikikomori for 10 years since my first psychotic break (which ended in me being diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on meds). I read recently that being a hikikomori is normal for someone with my condition (8 years pass by average until the person seeks employment after the first pychotic break). I also have depression and I am always depressed without meds. If I didn't have any of this mental problems I would have been a happy normal person, like my sister, but fate wanted me to suffer. My brain is slowly getting worse and I wasn't able to study what I wanted in the first place, which is why I stopped trying to study and decided to focus my mind on suicide instead.

The nurse says I am supposed to accept my limitations, but I say that is bullshit to cope with life. If I was in a better mental shape I would have wanted to study and find a job as an engineer, but this shit is the only thing I get.

I don't even know why I don't kill myself, I don't do anything worth doing and my days are boring. My parents don't want me to die, that's why I can't kill myself even if I wanted to, they allow me to have a decent life, and they are the best thing about my life. I have to wait until they die or they stop caring about me, it's going to take years (at least 10 years, probably 15 or more).
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Jon86 that’s what I did too. Cut off friends and family, moved cities, no Facebook. For me I had gotten arrested and for something humiliating. It’s not like in the grand scheme that it’s a really all that unusual or uncommon but in a small town you will never live it down. My family was not judgemental and understanding but part of the reason I ended in this situation has to do with the abuse I endured as a result of my family environment. I was simply supporting myself financially the way that I could but this is illegal unfortunately. Anyway so for me it’s being an outcast that has made me isolated and alienated from family. I don’t see any real solution to my issues. At least not desirable ones.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
My family was not judgemental and understanding but part of the reason I ended in this situation has to do with the abuse I endured as a result of my family environment. I was simply supporting myself financially the way that I could but this is illegal unfortunately.

Yep, we are all slaves to causality. Life is just a chain of events and genetics, constantly pushing us around like a leaf in the wind, making us do stuff we don't really want to do, sometimes. We are like puppets with strings...
 
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shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
I've been classified by multiple psychologists as SMI, which means seriously mentally ill. I live as a hermit because I feel so fat and ugly that I do not want to be in public. I can't stand it, so I shop in the middle of the night and work at a job where I am alone. Here is where the SMI comes in. I am 5 foot 11 inches tall and weigh 151 pounds.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Sounds like anorexia. I hope you know that phsychiatry is mostly a fraud. Only a very small percentage of people are truly mentally ill. The rest of us suffered trauma, or we were neglected, not parented correctly, kids put in daycare, educated in shitty forced public schooling which is not about educating us by the way. Many of us mostly need to learn coping skills and face the things we fear to be able to get stronger. But I don’t know u so I’m not saying it might not be mental illness. I’m just telling u this because I suffered a lot because of various diagnoses and being put on tons of phsyc meds when in reality I had been traumatized and badly socialized. In response to shatttered dreams.
 
shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Then how is it possible, you are fat? A guy with low body fat who is 5 foot 11 inches will weigh around 180 lbs to 200 lbs depending on how much muscle he has.

I feel like I am fat. I am what is called skinny fat, or professionally called normal weight obesity.
 
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shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Sounds like anorexia. I hope you know that psychiatry is mostly a fraud. Only a very small percentage of people are truly mentally ill. The rest of us suffered trauma, or we were neglected, not parented correctly, kids put in daycare, educated in shitty forced public schooling which is not about educating us by the way. Many of us mostly need to learn coping skills and face the things we fear to be able to get stronger. But I don’t know u so I’m not saying it might not be mental illness. I’m just telling u this because I suffered a lot because of various diagnoses and being put on tons of psych meds when in reality I had been traumatized and badly socialized. In response to shattered dreams.

I have definitely been anorexic in the past, whether I still am I don't know. As far as mental illness, I am definitely mentally and physically ill. My mom drank while she was pregnant and I have full blown fetal alcohol syndrome. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, and others I cannot recall right now. For example, to lose weight right now I am taking dnp. Only a crazy person would do that. Basically, if you take even a little too much you die. I put a video on dnp to show you how crazy I really am.

 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I feel like I am fat. I am what is called skinny fat, or professionally called normal weight obesity.
You might be able to do things to improve that, hormones, diet, lifting weights. Get hormones checked to see if u are low in testosterone for example. You can get bioidentical hormones which are cheaper than synthetic. But I get that it’s painful to even be seen at this point. I know this is all easy for me to say because I don’t know how bad it is or the other environmental factors around you.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Omg! That’s terrible I really sympathize with you shattered dreams. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
 
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shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Thank you, my testosterone is very low and I am hypothyroid. I cannot lose weight no matter what I tried other than dnp. For me, it is a win win. Either I will lose weight or the dnp will kill me. Since I would rather be dead than fat, I cannot lose. So far, I am losing fat like crazy. I love it. Got my first smile from a girl half my age on Friday.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
Thank you, my testosterone is very low and I am hypothyroid. I cannot lose weight no matter what I tried other than dnp. For me, it is a win win. Either I will lose weight or the dnp will kill me. Since I would rather be dead than fat, I cannot lose. So far, I am losing fat like crazy. I love it. Got my first smile from a girl half my age on Friday.

Holy fucking shit, dude. I read that stuff can raise your body temperature to 111 degrees fahrenheit. Has it made your skin, yellow?
 
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shattered dreams

shattered dreams

Student
Jun 5, 2018
134
Yes, I am really hot all day since I started it on June 30th, so 10 days now. It is worth it to me as the fat is just melting off and I can continue to eat anything I want. I remember always being told there is no magic diet pill that will just take fat off you without diet and exercise. Well, they were wrong. It is just that the side effects are deadly. I would never recommend anyone take it unless they were truly suicidal since one of the potential side effects is death.
 
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I

IQof87SadButTrue

Member
Jun 11, 2018
35
I'm living the dream as a hermit. I love being alone all the time. Just reading books. I've also spent my life doing other things like being social so I know how its like on both sides but being a hermit is by far the most fulfilling.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I'm living the dream as a hermit. I love being alone all the time. Just reading books. I've also spent my life doing other things like being social so I know how its like on both sides but being a hermit is by far the most fulfilling.
You cannot possibly have an iq of 87 if u spend your time reading books and like being alone all the time. Lol!