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Anyone in a loop?
Thread starterLife sucks
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Life is a loop. Keep going, kill your body with work and effort for having your basic needs covered, then you need it for living some more time and work even more.
The most part of people, me incluided, can't die for lack of resources, survival instinct kicking in, etc, so we are forced to live and constantly think in how good option suicide would be for us but we can't do it.
We dedicate our lifes to something we hate, we must find little things for coping and not running amok of so much anxiety and pain; then after a ridiculous rest, we must return to our killing routine, coping again for being able to continue, then returning...
This never ends. No exit, no escape; if you can't die, then you are fucked.
Everyday is always the same. I wake up, watch videos and listen to music, take a nap, and then go back to watching videos. Oftentimes I'll listen to the same music over and over again until I just can't tolerate it anymore. Of course, there will be some minor differences here and there, such as talking to a couple friends or crying my eyes out every now and then from my mental and physical pain, but most days have just blended in with each other. So much to where I often forget which day of the week it is since nothing ever really changes. There is no variety. There is no change of pace. It only further aids this feeling that I am slowly going insane.
Those who have to go to work or school may be envious of me staying at home everyday, but I can promise you that this way of living isn't any better. I'd honestly rather go to school than deal with this seemingly endless spiral of pain.