EricRoche

EricRoche

-
Apr 7, 2018
75
I think suicidal cases can be divided into:

1.) things can get better but too much effort to make them happen

or

2.) there is very little hope and even though things can get better, I'd have to sacrifice my dignity and mental health.

I think I am at 2. Broke, no money, no one to talk to, no social circle (parents don't talk and threatening to kick me out). I've been turned down for the most basic minimum wage jobs all because I don't have experience or a reference. There is really not a single thing redeemable about myself. Add on top of that the absolute bullshit of most of human society and really, what's the point? I've tried even getting help from doctors regarding mental health, sexual issues (can't orgasm from masturbation) and eye floaters but I just get dismissed. Fuck those cunts.

The only thing stopping me at the moment is a lack of money.
 
Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
555
I fall on category 2.

But even though things could get better, it's just slightly better,and still miserable. And actually some things for me, I can't see how are repearable. I can only expect my situation to get worse.
 
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Alysia

Alysia

Member
Jul 3, 2018
94
I think my situation is a mix of 1 and 2, I definitely feel like both a little bit. I feel like 2 in the sense that I'm just so disappointed in, and even disgusted by this fundamentally cruel world that allows people, myself included, to suffer from diseases and loneliness and a lack of love.

But at the same time I feel like 1 in that if I really put in a lot of effort (it would require everything in me in my current mental state), I could probably improve my life, even significantly, and maybe after years of trial and error and heartbreak, if I could take it, I could perhaps finally find lasting love and get rid of my mental illnesses, and really be happy, but I just can't find the motivation to pursue that because there is no guarantee, and the odds might very well be much against me, that those things will ever happen.
 
MortDeVivre

MortDeVivre

"If a battle cannot be won, do not fight it."
May 31, 2018
140
2
Or if you would have an option nr 3 nopp it wont,get better no matter what i do or try

Exactly. I tried to get better since all this started a year ago, and nothing changed. A few times, life gave me the illusion that things would get better, only to shatter it shortly afterwards. I'm done playing this twisted game. I want out.
 
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sadak_the_wanderer

sadak_the_wanderer

An appropriate painting
Mar 19, 2018
243
I do not necessarily agree with your breakout. Various suicidologists like Durkheim have argued over assorted taxonomies of the suicidal.

However, for the question as stated: I see very few options for "better" in my case. My health continues its inexorable decline. With that as the background, it has been quite literally decades since I have kissed anyone even as my friends go onward with their lives. Little things, such as my miserable "career," can only punctuate the two issues.

The idea of both of these being resolved is more or less indistinguishable from the kind of fantasy Hollywood sells about lifestyles and romantic comedies. It's certainly possible but it is so unlikely, well, I wouldn't bet any money on it.

It's a lousy movie and the potential endings left are going to be bad. I'll be walking out of the theater, not staying for the end credits.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
This life has gotten progressively worse since I was born. It is not going to get better. I have been suicidal for about 13 years now, and I lost all the resolve I had to try to make things better about 6 years ago. If not for my responsibility, I would have done it by now.
 
RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Global Mod
Jun 12, 2018
1,543
-raises hand-

It only got worse in the past few years. My whole life is basically a downwards spiral and I'm glad I can leave soon. I share a lot of your issues by the way. I'm also poor and I have no outlook on a better future. I'm depressed since my youth and it only got worse. I got bullied back in school for years, which fucked me up really bad. It's also one of the main reasons for my severe social anxiety. And I'm trans, that's something that's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life and I'm definitely not down for that.
 
M

Makhlebite

Member
Apr 8, 2018
32
What about 3? "Things cannot get better." Sure, by a certain standard, you could say they might. I could theoretically become a productive member of society and increase the GDP of the nation-state that I was dumped into by an accident of birth. But from a philosophical and political perspective, me properly integrating into this society would not feel to me as an improvement, it would be a pathetic capitulation. The things that would motivate me to live are entirely out of my control. And let's say I change to such a dramatic extent that I would not only be able and willing to participate in society, but actively enjoy my life and all that has to offer... but how could that happen? Surely not through a continuous development of my thought process. If the doctors could give me a super-drug that would rewire my brain from the ground up (they can't even do that), then sure, it can happen - but that's just literal brainwashing, isn't it? From a philosophical perspective, that would be an entirely new person, and the "current me" would be just as dead, no? So what's the difference then? The only one I can see is that being brainwashed would lead to "current me" suffering more before "current me" dies.

Compared to all of that, doing all the self-improvement stuff you mentioned in the original post (which I called "integrating into society") is actually a significantly smaller issue for me.
 
LittleDuckling

LittleDuckling

Member
Jun 27, 2018
18
I still have some hope that I will experience happiness for one last time even if its for a short period of time. For me even just a day or two were something good happens and I get to experience genuine happiness is whats keeping me going but Im sure that dream will die just like they all have.
 
O

Olivia

New Member
Jul 5, 2018
3
Oh, I'm sure it could get "better." I'm sure I'd find away to keep rolling onward and have some sense of purpose. My problem is that it would be DIFFERENT. I don't want anything else, I want what I had that I've lost. Nothing has meaning without it.
 
skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

-
Apr 10, 2018
136
I think I would fall more into category 1. Logically I know things can get better for me, but after everything that has happened I am too tired to make that happen. Plus, I am unsure if I will ever be out of this mindset entirely. It would take years to be fully "better" and I just don't have the energy anymore to make that happen.
 
K

Karlala

Member
Jun 27, 2018
69
With time all things might get better but I dont have time and things will be different and alot of times different isn't a good thing sometimes different hurts to much. Like in my situation I didt want change I was forced ,my cancer ,my fiance leaving with our daughter I came home one day and everything changed . I didn't have a choice. But with this decision the choice is mine and mine alone and I chose to exit. There is nothing left for me here. So over this weekend I'll do it. Cause what's to come is more hell on earth something I cant live through again. I've been through hell and back and care not to do that again.
 
Fylobatica

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
365
100% positive. I'd need a virtual everlasting body and access to the whole structure of the universe in order to feel accomplished. The main problem is human existence and its limitations
 
Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
555
100% 2. I felt like 1 for the last decade and just declined each year and continue to. I have tried everything to no avail. Holding onto hope that I can change just sacrifices my dignity with all this suffering. This is my only option. It is inevitable.

Holding onto hope that I can change just sacrifices my dignity with all this suffering. This is my only option. It is inevitable.

I fell the same way.
 
deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
This life has gotten progressively worse since I was born. It is not going to get better. I have been suicidal for about 13 years now, and I lost all the resolve I had to try to make things better about 6 years ago. If not for my responsibility, I would have done it by now.
Maybe I am being dumb, but can you just get another dog and get the same responsability to give yourself a reason to live?
 
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M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Maybe I am being dumb, but can you just get another dog and get the same responsability to give yourself a reason to live?
My dog can't be replaced. I also do not want to have responsibility for the life of another dog. While I love my dog, I would be both sad and happy if she died. Sad because I would lose her, but happy because I would be finally free.

I am not looking for reasons to live. I hate living this life. I hate this boring and lifeless world and reality.
 
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Tomasnil

Tomasnil

Mage
Apr 24, 2018
519
Even if things got better, I have been so traumatized by what has happened to me that I no longer want a part of this world healthy or not.

Agree 100% for me its just trauma.
If it wasnt for that i be a very happy person.
Trough out the years i have tried most pills and terapy etc. Nothing works. Drugs isnt for me .... so only way to be human a while is passed out drunk
 
A

Anthony

Member
Jul 10, 2018
5
I think suicidal cases can be divided into:

1.) things can get better but too much effort to make them happen

or

2.) there is very little hope and even though things can get better, I'd have to sacrifice my dignity and mental health.

I think I am at 2. Broke, no money, no one to talk to, no social circle (parents don't talk and threatening to kick me out). I've been turned down for the most basic minimum wage jobs all because I don't have experience or a reference. There is really not a single thing redeemable about myself. Add on top of that the absolute bullshit of most of human society and really, what's the point? I've tried even getting help from doctors regarding mental health, sexual issues (can't orgasm from masturbation) and eye floaters but I just get dismissed. Fuck those cunts.

The only thing stopping me at the moment is a lack of money.

You have 2 reasons for suicide, mine is I am tired of trying to make things work, jobs, relationships, life in general and they always just fuck up.
Homeless, jobless, lifeless.
 
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