• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

T

Throwaway563078

Experienced
Oct 6, 2018
273
Atm I literally have no one to talk to, neither online and irl. Irl it's really formal with coworkers and relatives. They don't get me at all and we can't connect. I've always struggled with loneliness being weird and socially anxious but now it's worse than ever. I don't even feel like a real person. Can anyone relate? And what do you do that helps you?
 
Lost1234

Lost1234

Xentos
Jun 20, 2018
63
oh yeah , hands up over here. I too struggle with being weird and socially anxious and yes , It's getting worse each day. I actually choose to be isolated because it's less stressful and exhausting. It's also because I can't answer to the "what are you doing these days"? or "what do you do"?

For me , I try to not to be conscious of my isolation, because that's where loneliness comes from..... easier said than done but i try regardless. i also do a glass (s) of wine when I'm too anxious to go out (when I need to go out , work ...class).

I'm also way too formal when I'm talking to coworkers and relatives these days , I don't know how I'm going to fix that but being busy and having that as an excuse to not meet much (for relatives) is what i do.
 
fuckthis

fuckthis

I've made up my mind.
Sep 23, 2018
264
Yes I can relate a lot too this. Sometimes it is just too much and I end up crying but that's life. It's super shitty because you have no one to go too when you start feeling really bad. Even on here, I mean this site provides some escapism but at the end of the day when I log off I'm on my own and that's the reality of it.

When you have no one to go too for comfort you just suffer silently, and it kinda manifested for me and now everyone thinks I'm fine when I'm actually gonna fucking kill myself. That's just how things are and it's who I am. It isn't even because I'm introverted at this point. Introverted people at least step outside every now and again but I don't even like the loneliness my anxiety provides and so I feel as if I'm slowly going insane. I'm a prisoner inside of my house.

A person on the documentary called The Bridge says it pretty well. My body is not my temple, it's a cage and I'm locked inside of it. When I step outside I'm always paranoid, worried about people looking at me and being judged. I can't even string a sentence together anymore because I get so nervous for no reason. Or I overthink the simplest of situations. Anxiety is a bitch. I hate it so much. It's my biggest demon. I reckon if I was somewhat socially confident I wouldn't even be here to begin with.

I don't know what it's like to be loved or cared for. I really don't. I've never had many friends and yea.. It's just fucking shit. This whole life thing isn't cut out for me lol
 
Last edited:
J

Jon

Student
Oct 1, 2018
109
Loneliness is painful, and it when its at its extreme it can feel like physical pain rather than mental pain. The reason for this is that humans have evolved, as with other mammals, to be sociable and to be liked. Being able to fit in and be part of a group could very often mean life or death for our ancestors, yet we still feel it, even though loneliness nowadays doesn’t mean being expelled from a tribe and completely isolated from all humanity. And loneliness affects all people from all walks of life, such as Tom Hanks, as he mentioned it on Desert Island discs, where he was actually brought to tears.

I don’t think there is a hard and fast cure to loneliness, I believe that the vast majority of people experience it some point, and it increases as we age. I never felt lonely before I got divorced and started living by myself. But now it crops up every now and again. The way I deal with it is to accept it as a part of life, and that I should be able to cope with it by myself, and look for my own solutions to my own problems. But I’m not able to eliminate it completely, and at times its bite stings more than at other times and all I want to do is sleep.

Though some things can help, such as hobbies. If you go to a forum which is of interest to you then you’ll speak to others who share the same interests. The workplace is different in that we are put together with random people who may or may not share any of our interests, and so communication can be difficult, let alone build a friendship.

Photography is how I deal with loneliness. I like going into the woods to photograph insects and animals, even though I’m alone, it doesn’t feel like I am. Sometimes I take photos in parks as well, and I also drink a couple of gins before going to make me feel more at ease. Reading is another coping strategy, but loneliness doesn’t seem to feature much in ancient works which I like to read the most (or only read to be honest) as people lived in communial houses or were constantly at war among thousands of their comrades, so they were always with others.

Loneliness must have been amplified in recent generations as more and more people live alone, and why the internet can provide some sense of comfort, it isn’t a substitute for real relationships, and some say that the internet and social media heightens the feeling of isolation and loneliness, and I do feel much better now that my FB is left largely dormant, and I don’t use any other social media.

Take comfort at least that you are not alone in the sense of feeling alone. If I could give you better advice I would, but to be honest I don’t know the answer myself. Somethings in life just have to be endured, like pain, however they can be reduced to bearable levels. But do some research from other sites on loneliness and practice what information you find which is applicable to your situation. As loneliness, like pain, can be the result from any number of causes, and so why loneliness can feel the same for everyone, the root cause may differ, and so like any other cause of pain, often requires a different remedy.

One final tip would be to identify when you feel most alone, and prepare yourself beforehand. Have something you find interesting to do during the most difficult periods, or some kind of coping strategy that you feel can at least make the seemingly unbearable, bearable.
 
worldexploder

worldexploder

-
Sep 19, 2018
2,823
I have been completely isolated socially now for 4 years except for when that “friend” came down from Brooklyn and ended up being an asshole. I only go out to buy beer and see my psychiatrist. I only talk to my ex wife on the phone and my aunt and uncle rarely when I go up stairs to eat. I lay in bed for about 20 hours a day. A true basement dweller.

Sometimes my skin almost “hurts” because it’s been so long since I been touched by another human being. Yet I feel as though I can no longer relate to people. The friends I use to have are ether happily married with children or dead. I try to keep my mind occupied as much as possible.

The only goals I have left is to finish my right to die manifesto then leave this god damn world.
 
Last edited:
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,142
Yes. Especially since I cannot share my thoughts about depression/ wanting to die. There’s no reason to be social if I have to hold the truth inside and just have empty surface talk about things I care nothing for. It’s just awful and painful. That’s why I spend so much time on here —because I can honestly communicate + get feedback about what I’m dealing with.
 
Sayo

Sayo

Not 2B
Aug 22, 2018
520
Yeah, real-time interactions make me dissociate, so I can't even maintain my online friendships. Lately looking at people started making me have panic attacks and cry in public again, so I stopped leaving the house. I don't know anyone in my area outside of my mother and the service economy, and when I tried to go to a meetup for people who share my interests I was ignored, even while I was visibly struggling with the door (walking frame).'

I'm hard of hearing and have a mobility impairment, so I can't just go up and talk to people; I literally won't hear them unless they talk to me at the right angle in a quiet environment. And people my own age tend to be freaked out by me because I'm so visibly disabled and eventually they find out I'm quite ill. I've heard people who are otherwise like me in every other way admit that they saw me and didn't think someone so crippled etc. could be their friend, which is a pretty bizarre judgment but whatever. To be fair I was pretty lonely beforehand because I'm weird, but I had the ability to interact with people and it was a fixable situation. And I hold people at arm's length because I find most of them impossible to get along with and vice versa, and don't really know how to behave otherwise, so really it is just messed up on all sides.

I think the worst thing about it to me isn't even being lonely. I've been lonely my whole life and gotten used to solitude, and I find the majority of people very stressful anyway, or else difficult to get along with. It's that all my communication skills are finally going, and I can't even go to the lab any more. I have no idea how to behave normally and no place in society, so I can't pretend it's voluntary, only mutual. I think even my relatives have lost interest in me because I showed up one Christmas suicidal and hysterical after being verbally threatened with a car crash by the driver.
 
S

Suicideroomwannadie

Member
Aug 20, 2018
24
Yes iam so isolated that iam going outside only when my dog needs to, he s my only friend after all... once i went to shop with mom and after i came home a cried so much because of social anxiety i had in shop..SA and isolation its my main reason i want to ctb also embarrassing past and the toxic memories are haunting me every day, its like every memory from the past is toxic even if people told that was normal that i was young i feel it toxic very much.. idk what to do iam rotting in my own house every day
 
Gainax

Gainax

Experienced
Oct 8, 2018
266
ive been always alone and isolated in my life, even when surrounded family members, work colleagues, random strangers in a street, ive talked with people but i wasn't really there neither was i listening to what the fuck they were saying
 
S

Schopenhauer

Enlightened
Oct 3, 2018
1,136
I work from home 3/5 of the time. I'm pretty isolated. Most of my conversations are solely about work. I can't talk to anyone about what I'm feeling. Nobody can help, anyway. I wish I could be more isolated.
 
Rallyon

Rallyon

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
723
I totally understand where ye all coming from last time i met wit my cousin she basically spent the whole night sayin there nothing wrong wit me it all in my head and so on...it was hurtful cause i cant help how i am i not intentionally staying in talkin to no one i feel i cant...i stayed up and came home at 7 in morning had get away from her never again...i cant trust or talk to no one...i really do wish i could meet some of ye and try have friends and someone on my side who is like me.....
 
AhG

AhG

La vie est tout sauf un rêve
Jan 24, 2019
313
I’m lonely, but I’m not isolated.
I’m lonely because I miss the touch of my wife.
I’m not isolated because I try to keep my mind busy, by hanging out with friends and attempting to do dangerous things that will most likely get me killed.