EricRoche

EricRoche

-
Apr 7, 2018
75
I have thought about it and I was thinking of contracting HIV from risky sex (I'm bisexual so I would have no problem having sex with males). This appeals to me because once someone has it, they can't get rid of it and if they leave it untreated, it will become terminal.

So even if I 'recover' as some claim, I will still have the ironic comfort of knowing that in a few years time, my death will be inevitable.

Plus, one gets more sympathy from doctors and for me, I just seem to like attention. I thought of giving myself testicular/prostate cancer but at the moment, I cannot get a hold of a small dental X-ray. They cost in the range of $500>
 
blackbile

blackbile

Member
Jun 7, 2018
8
This would cause a lot more suffering than it would put an end to it. the way the body withers away is awful...the body starts to reject everything, and the pain becomes EXTREME and CONSTANT. And you will feel it till the second of your early death.

That being said, yes I have thought about this. I haven't thought specifically about giving myself a disease, but I have hoped and thought *a lot* about being in a hospital, being taken care of, careening towards my last moments while I lay there drugged up. I don't know why but it's all very comforting, to me.

sidenote: being bisexual won't make it easier for you to get AIDS.
 
Lucas

Lucas

Member
May 26, 2018
81
Do you really want to kill yourself or do you just like the idea of killing yourself (because you want to punish yourself or something)? I think it sounds more the latter in this case.

I think this goes to same category with other useless and stupid suicide methods like drinking too much water. Yes, I know this board has many people with mental illnesses and bottled up anger, but stuff like this still makes me roll my eyes. Suicide is scary and hardest thing you have to do in your life, but stuff like this makes it look like a joke.

My view is that a person who honestly wants to end his suffering won't want a painful illness to do it for him.
 
Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
Nah. Cancer or HIV is too slow. People kill themselves because of chronic illnesses. Might as well just kill yourself instantly with a brutal method at that point. If you can handle cancer pain (for example) for days on in then the brutal methods shouldn't be a problem to execute.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Do you really want to kill yourself or do you just like the idea of killing yourself (because you want to punish yourself or something)? I think it sounds more the latter in this case.

I think this goes to same category with other useless and stupid suicide methods like drinking too much water. Yes, I know this board has many people with mental illnesses and bottled up anger, but stuff like this still makes me roll my eyes. Suicide is scary and hardest thing you have to do in your life, but stuff like this makes it look like a joke.

My view is that a person who honestly wants to end his suffering won't want a painful illness to do it for him.

I posted soy sauce suicide as a joke but poor Chinese actually do use this method. Sometimes people just don't have access to decent methods. I was looking at having to employ a really brutal method had I not come across Sodium Nitrite. My life's been incredibly painful, I refuse to let my death be painful as well, if I can at all help it. Even serial killers on death row get a reasonably peaceful method, and I'm no criminal. It's not right we should have to do it in all sorts of heinous and ridiculous ways, but that's what lack of access drives you too.
 
Lucas

Lucas

Member
May 26, 2018
81
I posted soy sauce suicide as a joke but poor Chinese actually do use this method. Sometimes people just don't have access to decent methods. I was looking at having to employ a really brutal method had I not come across Sodium Nitrite. My life's been incredibly painful, I refuse to let my death be painful as well, if I can at all help it. Even serial killers on death row get a reasonably peaceful method, and I'm no criminal. It's not right we should have to do it in all sorts of heinous and ridiculous ways, but that's what lack of access drives you too.

Yeah, I get you what you mean. Desperate times and so on, but stuff such as this illness thing is just jerking yourself off with an idea. Personally I've come to that conclusion that there ain't free lunches, even with suicide. It's not walk in a park. If you really want to die, you have to do your own dirty work, there's no way around it unless you get lucky or some would say unlucky.
 
T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
Personally I think a lot of the disease stuff comes from a desire to have an endless well of sympathy. To have people be gentle with you and take care of you. I know someone in my family like this. It’s like a trump card you can pull at any time to quell any negativity people show towards you. It lets you just give up.
 
T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
But the homeless dude I just walked by that is HIV positive and ranting about how people ignore him shows even this can have its limits. Reality is ever present and cruel.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Yeah, I get you what you mean. Desperate times and so on, but stuff such as this illness thing is just jerking yourself off with an idea. Personally I've come to that conclusion that there ain't free lunches, even with suicide. It's not walk in a park. If you really want to die, you have to do your own dirty work, there's no way around it unless you get lucky or some would say unlucky.

Right, I'm not saying it's rational. It clearly isn't. But, I understand the psychology of it (in cases where the person isn't just looking for sympathy). Having to employ some concrete and horrific method in the here and now can seem a lot worse than some abstract idea of an illness in the future. People don't really get the harshness of anything until it's right on your ass.

It's not about "free lunches" or whatever. It's about society being irrational and denying citizens what should be a fundamental right.
 
accidentaldeath

accidentaldeath

Student
May 29, 2018
107
Sure I did, I hope I could. As I mentioned in a post I created, I don't mind how horrorfull my death is, afterall is just a moment and life is quite painful right now so just a bit more won't be really of a problem. The problem is I don't want my family to know I commited suicide. So a quick illness would be a good way to go. However I don't know how to produce it.
 
T

transgenderfailure

Subhuman Creature
Apr 30, 2018
112
I don't want to be that person. But.. what if it ever gets better for you? Not saying it will, as I don't know your situation. But, just imagine what it would feel like to have AIDS if you wanted to live.
 
E

Elaina

Member
May 16, 2018
96
Sure I did, I hope I could. As I mentioned in a post I created, I don't mind how horrorfull my death is, afterall is just a moment and life is quite painful right now so just a bit more won't be really of a problem. The problem is I don't want my family to know I commited suicide. So a quick illness would be a good way to go. However I don't know how to produce it.
There was a case where a man fell to his death skydiving because of a sabatoged parachute. they don't know to this day if it was a murder or suicide...
 
AveryConure

AveryConure

Some idiot
May 11, 2018
438
Do you really want to kill yourself or do you just like the idea of killing yourself (because you want to punish yourself or something)? I think it sounds more the latter in this case.

I think this goes to same category with other useless and stupid suicide methods like drinking too much water.
No joke I once heard of a story where a mental hospital I was close to being in had a situation where almost all their patients drank shitloads of water just to try to kill themselves.

You have to wonder if they even thought if they would be successful doing it since they're in a hospital and they can reverse it but i guess it's more of the sympathy/desperation angle than anything.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
You're not gonna get sympathy if you try to off yourself in a hospital, you'll just get treated like a criminal. If thats what a person is after, sympathy from illness, they are barking up the wrong tree. Unless you have a "trendy" illness (that you didnt give yourself) no one cares.
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
People can laugh or condescend all they want, but this is a real thing many people do when they want to CTB but don't have the nerve to go through with it. You take unnecessary risks you could otherwise control - whether that includes aggressive driving, drug use, risky sex, smoking, bad diet, etc. I know I have played lots of games with my meds and alcohol while not explicitly trying to die. It was more of an, "Eh, if it happens, it happens" sort of thing.

I don't just base this off of my personal experience either. This concept has been around in psychology since Freud and, unlike his crazier ideas, has persisted in the field. He called it the Todestrieb (death drive). It has also gone under other names like "Thanatos". Of course, psychologists don't have a great track record, so I/they may just be full of shit, but it at least isn't as crazy as it seems at first blush.
 
ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
144
People can laugh or condescend all they want, but this is a real thing many people do when they want to CTB but don't have the nerve to go through with it. You take unnecessary risks you could otherwise control - whether that includes aggressive driving, drug use, risky sex, smoking, bad diet, etc. I know I have played lots of games with my meds and alcohol while not explicitly trying to die. It was more of an, "Eh, if it happens, it happens" sort of thing.

I don't just base this off of my personal experience either. This concept has been around in psychology since Freud and, unlike his crazier ideas, has persisted in the field. He called it the Todestrieb (death drive). It has also gone under other names like "Thanatos". Of course, psychologists don't have a great track record, so I/they may just be full of shit, but it at least isn't as crazy as it seems at first blush.

I dont slow down when semis pull out in front of me, sometimes text and drive when I see one coming. I dont avoid death, but it keeps avoidimg me. Bastard. Lol.
 
EternalSanction

EternalSanction

-
Jun 7, 2018
252
Personally I think you would not want to experience cancer. I witnessed a person close to me dying to it and it was just painful to see how it slowly consumed him to the point he would barely remember who I am (spread to the brain). I would not wish it on anyone.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
Enh, not really. I've said on here before how it would certainly be a nice parting gesture if I could somehow take the illness of someone who desperately wants to live in a sort of one use only John Coffey-esque way, but, truth be told, it's just me pissing in the wind. Even if the opportunity were actually there, I'd probably just back out like the yellow bellied wimp I know I am. Picture Robert Carlyle's character from the opening scene of 28 Weeks Later and there you have it.

The only real, tangible thing that appeals to me about a terminal illness is the inescapable nature of it. It doesn't matter how weak, cowardly, or squeamish I am. I'm going to die and there's not a single god damned thing I can do about it. Thus, my craven nature would be left powerless in the face of such a predicament. Whereas in a traditional suicide scenario I'd be doomed to failure, a terminal illness would essentially seal my fate without me having to lift a finger or overcome anything. For someone like me, who's far too weak/afraid to die by my own hand, there's massive appeal in that. Now does that mean I want to run sprinting out the door to go and contract some deadly diseases? Hell, No. In many ways, choosing to contract a deadly illness is the same thing as pulling the trigger on a double barreled shotgun. In both cases, you've decided to go beyond the point of no return. Something I know I'll never be able to do, barring the most extreme circumstances and perhaps not even then. Frankly, if one is capable of crossing such an insurmountable threshold in the first place then, even I have to admit, that they'd be far better off picking a method more immediate & final, then willfully choosing a slow demise by some horrible sickness withering them away piece by piece. Having said all that, does the idea of me potentially being diagnosed with a fatal illness at some point in my life fill me with grim hope? Absolutely. In fact the sooner the better, since the faster it comes the less time I have to spend rotting away here. Would it probably be excruciating? Of course. Would I be wrapped in dread & panic? No doubt. Would there be some semblance of comfort in the finality of it all? Well, I'd like to think so. It wouldn't be ideal obviously, but beggars can't be choosers and at least it'd be a guaranteed end. The difference is that I'd be stricken with it out of the blue, with no action necessary on my part. If that's someone's idea of a "free lunch" when it comes to suicide, well then so be it. Let shame forever rain down on the rest of us for not being able to pull ourselves up by our suicidal boot straps. I guess we must just not want to die hard enough and must therefore secretly want to live, amirite? Give me a fucking break, sheesh. If you happen to have it in yourself to sit down and do what you need to do by your own hand in a more "proper way" then fucking wonderful. More power to you. Although, my apologies if for some here this comes as a shock to discover (regardless of whether they find it to be personally disagreeable to them), but people like me can't, despite how much it is we want to. Some of us here have no choice, but to continue to rot in torment, as if we were undying hollows from Dark Souls made manifest, until god knows when, with no hope of escape, unless maybe, just maybe, things somehow get bad enough for the impossible to become briefly possible, or we win the lottery and die a natural, early death. Desperate plans & ideas make perfect sense when all the familiar exits out of this hell hole are blocked off, even the one manned by the reaper itself (at least for now, anyway). Then again, it's easy to dismiss what you can't, or don't want to, see though. isn't it? But whatever. Everybody's entitled to their high horse, I guess

EDIT: Not sure why I started arguing with myself near the end there. I guess I just got suddenly annoyed at the idea, among other things, of someone disapproving of an "easy path" to suicide if it were available out of some vain, misguided self-superiority. On top of that, I also got a little carried away ranting about the spurious notion that if someone is too afraid/weak to commit suicide, then surely that must mean they really want to live because otherwise they would have no fear/reservations about it. Be that as it may and outside of my inane tangents, I'd tend to agree that for the vast majority of us here, there are no shortcuts to suicide. Unless you're willing to knuckle down and do the deed yourself in the most direct & efficient manner, you're pretty much shit out of luck barring acts of extreme chance like a piano falling on your head or a random homicidal maniac gunning you down with an assault rifle. It's tragic, but it's true.

original.jpg
 
Last edited:
F

FroggMan

Member
May 8, 2018
35
psychologists don't have a great track record
That's putting it nicely. What passes as "evidence" in that field would never have flown in most other branches of science. Can you think of the sorry state of engineering fields, for example, if they had to go off of the evidence practiced in psychology? Gah! And then when money gets involved and desperation and well it's not a pretty picture.

But on the topic of sympathies, I heard another news bit on a school shooting and thought, damn, here's all these poor kids and teachers being murdered in some tragedy who probably all wanted to live, and yet here I am waking up every morning just wanting to be dead already. And if I was someone in their shoes, I feel I'd be very careless with my life during that shooting. It kills me to think about how I'm going to be hurting those close to me, makes me feel as though I'm an immense failure. It's funny, if someone confided to me of their suicidal plans, besides comforts, I'd only tell them to please make sure of themselves. I wouldn't tell them of the people their going to hurt, I wouldn't tell them some bullshit of how suicide only passes on pain instead of ending it, I know these things aren't all that fair at all. I realize the nonsensical of my thoughts but yet I can not get rid of the emotion attached. Just about no one blames a victim of a school shooting in getting killed, that would comfort me if it's the death that awaited me, whether that's good or bad. Don't you guys feel that atleast a bit? Or am I the outlier?

I do pitty those with mental illnesses too, with the nature and nurture of things and us humans being so dictated by not only the coding of our DNA but a plethora of other health factors, well, world seems much of a bumblefuck, even for the healthy minds at times. Might not make things excusable in a sense, but definitely more understandable. Lord knows I'll be doing stupid things time and time again no matter how hard I try not to.

But right, not always gonna be free lunches in this world.

Edit: One thing I want to add, terminal illnesses can be extremely unpleasant. Illness in general can be. Learned that one the hard way, is the reason why I'm here. Can't seriously recommend anyone contract one on purpose.
 
Last edited:
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Terminal illness is painful, but is inexorable. I couldn't backtrack if I'm afraid and I would finally die without possibility of salvation. It wouldn't be so bad...
 
AveryConure

AveryConure

Some idiot
May 11, 2018
438
You're not gonna get sympathy if you try to off yourself in a hospital, you'll just get treated like a criminal. If thats what a person is after, sympathy from illness, they are barking up the wrong tree. Unless you have a "trendy" illness (that you didnt give yourself) no one cares.
The place was apparently for really ill individuals so I honestly don't know what they were planning to achieve and probably no one knows. I honestly don't have room to talk cause I once tried to starve and dehydrate myself in a hospital too and all that got me was apparently getting kicked out. At least I lost like 30 lbs doing this dumbass stunt though.