A

AnonymousS

Student
Sep 11, 2021
134
I'm currently working as a programmer and I'm about to lose my job, because of mental issues. Of course I can't blame mental issues for everything, obviously I should've pushed myself harder... So I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation.
Yes many years ago i was working in the pharmacy department at my local hospital, all i was worried about was my career. I didn't fully realise how unwell i was getting. I had to give it up on medical grounds, then the same with another job. I haven't been able to work since, it was hard at first because it felt like my whole identity just vanished. However having been in hospital numerous times, i have met lots of people who either cannot work due to mental illness, or some who can do voluntary work.
 
M

melancholic

Member
Aug 20, 2022
14
I've had a series of pretty decent paying blue collar jobs over the years. The last one I quit last year because I can no longer handle the required small talk and pretending to be happy around other people.
 
T

TheManIllNeverBe

Member
Aug 3, 2022
34
Same case here (except East Coast). Run over by a DUI Hit and run. After my traumatic brain injury I haven't really been able to code since 2019. You're lucky you still have some savings I'm broke.

Definitely don't do CBT if you still got some savings; you should look into nootropics, HBOT, stem cell therapy, peptides, Cerebrolysin/Dihexa/BPC157, et. al.

If I had the money for those chances are extremely high I could pull a 180 over the course of the year. But when you're at the end of your rope, you're at the end of your rope. Stuck in the middle of the Sahara desert where no human has been with your tank out of gas - the end of the road.

In your case you should at least make one attempt at novel cognitive neuroplasticity enhancers, at least one, before pulling the plug. Otherwise spend the rest of your money on hoes, drugs and of life's low hanging forbidden fruits in a final "meal" sense. Or, whatever you feel is the most judicious end of life course.

Whichever way you go, Peace & Good Skill.
My problem, today at least, is all of the damn meds I got put on after the accident. I feel like I've healed OK from the head injury. It's been about 8 years since the layoff. Even done some fairly intellectually-difficult work between when I got laid off and present day. But about 2 years ago my antidepressant (sertraline/Zoloft) quit working on me after the pharmacy changed suppliers, and my psychiatrist at the time took me off of it cold turkey because it was making me violently angry. This in hindsight was a huge mistake, and sent me on a downward spiral of brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, and depression that I have yet to find my way out of. I was prescribed a couple of additional meds to manage the symptoms, so I'm able to sleep most nights now, and no longer having panic attacks, but now I'm stuck on a cocktail of meds that I believe is ultimately doing more harm than good, feeding my brain fog and cognitive difficulties, and is seemingly impossible to get off of. Every time I try to taper one of them, I end up with either anxiety and insomnia, or suicidal depression, and end up having to revert back to my previous regimen before trying again. It's extremely tiring and demoralizing and it's a trap that I don't see a way out of right now. As I've seen stated so many times on this forum: fuck psychiatrists!
 
D

DeadManLiving

Member
Sep 9, 2022
14
My problem, today at least, is all of the damn meds I got put on after the accident. I feel like I've healed OK from the head injury. It's been about 8 years since the layoff. Even done some fairly intellectually-difficult work between when I got laid off and present day. But about 2 years ago my antidepressant (sertraline/Zoloft) quit working on me after the pharmacy changed suppliers, and my psychiatrist at the time took me off of it cold turkey because it was making me violently angry. This in hindsight was a huge mistake, and sent me on a downward spiral of brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, and depression that I have yet to find my way out of. I was prescribed a couple of additional meds to manage the symptoms, so I'm able to sleep most nights now, and no longer having panic attacks, but now I'm stuck on a cocktail of meds that I believe is ultimately doing more harm than good, feeding my brain fog and cognitive difficulties, and is seemingly impossible to get off of. Every time I try to taper one of them, I end up with either anxiety and insomnia, or suicidal depression, and end up having to revert back to my previous regimen before trying again. It's extremely tiring and demoralizing and it's a trap that I don't see a way out of right now. As I've seen stated so many times on this forum: fuck psychiatrists!
I was stuck in the same rut. Conventional medicine is fucked up, but it also perverts the perception of compounds which are non-marketable (not profitable) but miraculously effective. I worked as a statistician at a Biotech-boutique IB as a quantitative research analyst. There is no profit in cure - only in treatment. The more prolonged the course of treatment, the better. The inside joke was to be careful how you say the "C" word. "Cure" is a negative term in the labscape. Curing illness would extinct the industry out of business. A one-time treatment would be fatal to the balance sheet.

Pharmaceutical executives owe a legal fiduciary duty to the shareholders, not to you, not to me and nowhere near curing disease. Executives would be fined by the SEC if not jailed for breaching their fiduciary duty by disadvantaging shareholders. Pharma executives have a legal duty to maximize shareholder value, and that involves producing treatments that are marginally efficacious, revenue-positive, but most critically, enduringly maximally profitable. Emphasis on "enduringly." you don't make money selling one-time shots. You make money with repeat customers. Long-term enduring care generates profitable revenues, and the longer the duration of treatment, the more.

The essence of conventional medicine is to treat disease, not cure it. A real "cure" doesn't generate enduring profit, which only harms the company's shareholders. As a member of A quantitative research team, my job was to separate silver bullet slingshot treatments from low-hanging fruit. The curative research went in the trash, and we had to evaluate which among all the low-hanging-fruit treatments would be maximally profitable but marginally effective enough to ensure the most prolonged treatment. Amongst the candidates were the low-hanging-fruit drugs you get fed today by self-laudatory doctors, most self-acclaimed divine scourers of sacred knowledge. You can't object with a doctor, can you? Especially if you bring the research, they get nervous and repudiate Google for aggravating your diagnosis.

I will add that if you seek diligently, you will uncover promising cures. They're out there. Hundreds of miracle compounds never bought to market which exist accumulating dust in the USPTO's provisional patent archives have expired and vanished into oblivion. Like Piracetam, Noopept, Cerebrolysin. Some non-expired but only patented to be withheld and kept close to the vest just in case - like Dihexa or trans-ISRIB. Then we have leading edge advancements in medicine ready-for-market but will take fifty years, if at all, to get past FDA approval. You never know, a subject could mysteriously die during the last leg of successful Phase II trials of unrelated causes aborting the whole trial into oblivion. Like the story of NSI-189 which miraculously exceeded expectations for MDD but inexplicably fell off the grid, sold to a mysterious private buyer for $4.9 Million. Embryotic stem cell infusion, the ultimate cure, is of course the greatest industry threat to the degree it was lobbied and outright outlawed in the United States (barring EmCell in Europe).

Gene therapy is of course sufficiently mature but indefinitely reserved to institutional research outside of public reach out of a cowardly abundance of caution. You need a lot of safety data they say, but they've been saying that for decades, and will continue to for the coming decades. Who wants to spend resources on safety when you can splurge on experimental grant money. And then we have neuropeptides, Big Bear vs Big Pharma. BPC157, P21, Semax/Selnax, Epitalon ... all available to the public (for research use only), but when the FDA's bitch is the public - the public shies away from "unapproved" experimental compounds. Not FDA Approved. Sounds scary, right? You want what's FDA approved - go ask your doctor for Desoxyn® (Methamphetamine Hydrochoride) for weight loss or attention deficit disorder approved for children ages 6-12. Yes, the FDA actually approved Meth for Kids! The FDA also approved Fentanyl. It's a cognitive fallacy, appeal to authority.

My point is that there are an abundance of neuropeptides and nootropics out there with extraordinary potential to reverse and prevent neurocognitive disorders that have never been promoted because, well, they work. Efficient, effective, and rapid cures will never be FDA approved. Not because of the FDA, but because approval has never been sought in the first place and should never be sought. The fastest way to ruin is seeking FDA approval for NSI-189 or other like silver-bullet compound which extirpates depression. You only seek FDA approval when you have something that marginally treats depression, only to prolong it sufficiently until the next useless SSRI comes out that you can switch to.

So don't loose hope. There are miraculous compounds out there that'll ameliorate or resolve your condition(s) effectively and timely. You just have to research and look, and you shall find. I've mentioned a few, there are more.
 
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G

GoForDeath

Member
Oct 7, 2021
56
I was stuck in the same rut. Conventional medicine is fucked up, but it also perverts the perception of compounds which are non-marketable (not profitable) but miraculously effective. I worked as a statistician at a Biotech-boutique IB as a quantitative research analyst. There is no profit in cure - only in treatment. The more prolonged the course of treatment, the better. The inside joke was to be careful how you say the "C" word. "Cure" is a negative term in the labscape. Curing illness would extinct the industry out of business. A one-time treatment would be fatal to the balance sheet.

Pharmaceutical executives owe a legal fiduciary duty to the shareholders, not to you, not to me and nowhere near curing disease. Executives would be fined by the SEC if not jailed for breaching their fiduciary duty by disadvantaging shareholders. Pharma executives have a legal duty to maximize shareholder value, and that involves producing treatments that are marginally efficacious, revenue-positive, but most critically, enduringly maximally profitable. Emphasis on "enduringly." you don't make money selling one-time shots. You make money with repeat customers. Long-term enduring care generates profitable revenues, and the longer the duration of treatment, the more.

The essence of conventional medicine is to treat disease, not cure it. A real "cure" doesn't generate enduring profit, which only harms the company's shareholders. As a member of A quantitative research team, my job was to separate silver bullet slingshot treatments from low-hanging fruit. The curative research went in the trash, and we had to evaluate which among all the low-hanging-fruit treatments would be maximally profitable but marginally effective enough to ensure the most prolonged treatment. Amongst the candidates were the low-hanging-fruit drugs you get fed today by self-laudatory doctors, most self-acclaimed divine scourers of sacred knowledge. You can't object with a doctor, can you? Especially if you bring the research, they get nervous and repudiate Google for aggravating your diagnosis.

I will add that if you seek diligently, you will uncover promising cures. They're out there. Hundreds of miracle compounds never bought to market which exist accumulating dust in the USPTO's provisional patent archives have expired and vanished into oblivion. Like Piracetam, Noopept, Cerebrolysin. Some non-expired but only patented to be withheld and kept close to the vest just in case - like Dihexa or trans-ISRIB. Then we have leading edge advancements in medicine ready-for-market but will take fifty years, if at all, to get past FDA approval. You never know, a subject could mysteriously die during the last leg of successful Phase II trials of unrelated causes aborting the whole trial into oblivion. Like the story of NSI-189 which miraculously exceeded expectations for MDD but inexplicably fell off the grid, sold to a mysterious private buyer for $4.9 Million. Embryotic stem cell infusion, the ultimate cure, is of course the greatest industry threat to the degree it was lobbied and outright outlawed in the United States (barring EmCell in Europe).

Gene therapy is of course sufficiently mature but indefinitely reserved to institutional research outside of public reach out of a cowardly abundance of caution. You need a lot of safety data they say, but they've been saying that for decades, and will continue to for the coming decades. Who wants to spend resources on safety when you can splurge on experimental grant money. And then we have neuropeptides, Big Bear vs Big Pharma. BPC157, P21, Semax/Selnax, Epitalon ... all available to the public (for research use only), but when the FDA's bitch is the public - the public shies away from "unapproved" experimental compounds. Not FDA Approved. Sounds scary, right? You want what's FDA approved - go ask your doctor for Desoxyn® (Methamphetamine Hydrochoride) for weight loss or attention deficit disorder approved for children ages 6-12. Yes, the FDA actually approved Meth for Kids! The FDA also approved Fentanyl. It's a cognitive fallacy, appeal to authority.

My point is that there are an abundance of neuropeptides and nootropics out there with extraordinary potential to reverse and prevent neurocognitive disorders that have never been promoted because, well, they work. Efficient, effective, and rapid cures will never be FDA approved. Not because of the FDA, but because approval has never been sought in the first place and should never be sought. The fastest way to ruin is seeking FDA approval for NSI-189 or other like silver-bullet compound which extirpates depression. You only seek FDA approval when you have something that marginally treats depression, only to prolong it sufficiently until the next useless SSRI comes out that you can switch to.

So don't loose hope. There are miraculous compounds out there that'll ameliorate or resolve your condition(s) effectively and timely. You just have to research and look, and you shall find. I've mentioned a few, there are more.
This is eye opening, what do you suggest for me? I've been doing a lot of stimulants, like 4-5 grams per week of 3fpm and I think I fucked my brain..
 
K

korean

Member
Jul 20, 2022
21
After a probationary period of 3 months at my current job, I am guaranteed to work until retirement age. This is the second job I've got. The firse one also guaranteed retirement age. But I quitted. And this time, I've been working for a total of one month so far. There isn't a single day that hasn't been pointed out as my mistake. Every day I was insulted by several people. At this point, I think I'll have to leave, or I'll get fired after 3 months anyway. However, I was hesitant to resign. I will never be able to get a job as good as this again. Because now I am old. But... I guess I reach the limit. I will tell my boss that I want to quit tommorrow. I have depression, insomnia, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and even seperation disorder... old age, woman, no family, no friend, ugly, no money but lots of wounds. I wish I can get N...
 
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S

Secrets1

Specialist
Nov 18, 2019
312
Hey I'm in my first programming job too and the fking head of the Projects departament gave me an impossible task last week explicitly saying it was to test me. This is the second company I've been (1st was internship) and for some fkng reason I always land with psychopaths that want to push you to the absolute limit and also tell you in your face that they're evaluating you.

I feel like you either really learn to kiss ass or you go way more prepared that what you thought in programming jobs. They told me they would educate me as a recent graduate but 3 weeks in and they're asking for a full stack application.

Fuck managers, fuck CEOs. I'd rather deal with a pedantic coworker that thinks I need to implement Clean Architecture than with these tyrants.
Imagine being a ceo and having the pressure of keeping a company afloat so employees can be paid, take care of themselves and family, etc. Entrepreneurs are unique personalities with high rates of mental illness and suicide themselves.
 
On Replay

On Replay

Member
Sep 23, 2022
55
I lost the best job of my life when I went to try to get “help” for my suicidal ideation. Instead I was involuntary admitted to the hospital, missed work, and then when I was discharged the Emergency Room wouldn’t sign my Return to Duty forms… I loved that position so much
 
niloc

niloc

Relax — This won't hurt
May 6, 2020
68
I'm fairly sure I will be in this situation here soon.. Not so much a nice job, just my job in general. I really don't want to to be like this anymore.
 
D

DeadManLiving

Member
Sep 9, 2022
14
This is eye opening, what do you suggest for me? I've been doing a lot of stimulants, like 4-5 grams per week of 3fpm and I think I fucked my brain..
BPC 157 and 9-Me-Bc are the silver bullets for resetting a torched dopaminergic system to homeostasis.
 
gramenii

gramenii

Nothing new on the west front
Sep 23, 2022
7
I think I'll be in that position soon enough. I hate to work when I'm mentally tired.