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SnowyDreams

SnowyDreams

Member
Aug 25, 2018
79
I think this plays a big part in my misery... weight has been my biggest obsession since I was a child. I've always been fat in a way. When I started elementary school I started gaining so much weight. I had binge eating episodes everytime my mom wasn't looking. I once ate an entire pot of rice pudding. I used to eat jam straight from the jar too. I started dieting at 15 years old but my restrictive eating habits started at 18. I ate only 1000 calories a day and exercised a lot. Then at 20 there were periods of binge eating (Once I baked a cake and ate all of it in less than two hours) and gaining lots of weight (35kg). Then I lost all of it. Then last year I gained weight again because of antidepressants. That really pissed me off because they didn't even work. I'm positive I'm going to ctb soon but I still count calories all the time. There's even some euphoria when I see that I lost weight. It's really like being in chains... I think I'm "body positive" and I love it when fat people are confident and beautiful in their bodies I just can't apply that to myself no matter how hard I try.
So what are your stories if you want to vent here