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noname223

Visionary
Aug 18, 2020
2,515
I had this question when I read some comments. I can remember the member but I don't mention his name. He said he spent so much time in this forum, and just does not come close to ctb. He sees it as kind of unnecessary to be still around in this forum. It gave me a little bit the feeling as if he thinks only people who would be close to suicide fit into such a forum. This is personally not my position.

I think you can still be in this forum even if you will never ctb. I mean the future is hard to predict, in the end we cannot forsee the future. It is kind of uncertain. Moreover I think it is better not to think in this way. There should not be any pressure to ctb. You can also be a longterm member without killing yourself. For example in my case this forum helps to decrease my suicidality. It is a good valve. Without it I would feel way more lonely and I had to suppress all these thoughts.

So the first hypothesis would be only people who are close to suicide spend time in suicide forums. I don't think this is the truth.

I think it depends on the individual very much. I read one time a member said he made a little break of visiting this forum. And he became more positive about life. He quit this forum afterwards. Though this is in contrast to my experience. I tried to quit this forum after the NYT article because I was so scared. And the time without this forum was bone-crushing. Maybe one cannot find out a certain type of people who are prone to visiting suicide forums. However there is the high likelihood that the person is suicidal or at least a journalist when the person visits this forum regularly.

Maybe the relationship to such a forum is as individual as the relation to death/suicide in general. It is pretty difficult to find a person that exactly has the same relation with suicide as oneself. There are often nuances where we all differ.

I think there are some variables. Like for example as what we perceive this forum. Some are here to learn about methods. I think this was true for me and for many other members. But then they felt comforted by writting here. And postponed or even cancelled their plans for suicide (for a certain time-period?).
I think this forum has a very different influence on different members.

I think some people feel bad when they read so much about suffering. I can relate to that. It is really an ambivalent feeling which I have towards it. I think I already made a thread about it. On the one hand I am very sorry that the person is suffering so much but on the other hand I feel comforted because I see I am not the only one who suffers/or experiences such a pain/ the person has similar thoughts as me. I have some rules in order to protect me from getting influenced badly.

I think this forum has become a good tool for me as a valve and a place where I can share my most inner feelings with people who understand me. I think being severely suicide is kind of a unique experience. There are not many situations which have a similar impact on a person. Maybe I just don't come close to the trait that connects us. Maybe it is the fact we consider suicide as an option. But then again we could try to dig deeper into different kinds of suicidality. Yeah and this is a topic I rather try to avoid because I don't know enough about it and I don't want to hurt other people. Such categories can easily be influenced by false stereotpyes and prejudices.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

Is there a trait that links us all together? Or can't we do such a generalization?
 
Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Visionary
May 5, 2020
2,333
I believe if a person is always going to feel suicidal (even if they never go through with it) then this place has value. But I understand why people just leave because they want to try to just get on with their lives and not think about it. It's completely down to each individual and their way of doing things. Personally, I wouldn't come on here if I wasn't feeling like this. I would see no point in it, but that's just me. As you said the future is hard to predict so I hope that the forum is still around for many years to come. It is good to have a voice while trying to break down the taboos of suicidal ideation. I just wish that the mainstream would understand how complicated and gut wrenching it is to have these thoughts and feelings. It is tiring feeling like an outcast that should always be 'saved' no matter how much suffering is potentially down the road.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Wish that I was gone.
Sep 24, 2020
13,307
I think that in my opinion, there is not that much point to suicide forums unless it is for method research. I think that is the only reason why people sign up in the first place. However even with all the method information, I still feel trapped in this world. I didn’t know how difficult ctb was until I started researching it properly. I just think that it is terrible how suicide forums even have to exist in the first place, we all deserve the option of euthanasia and nobody should even have to research suicide on the internet at all. It is depressing how I am still thinking about suicide when instead I could be peacefully not existing. It is such a cruel world that we live in.
 
Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Visionary
May 5, 2020
2,333
I think that in my opinion, there is not that much point to suicide forums unless it is for method research. I think that is the only reason why people sign up in the first place. However even with all the method information, I still feel trapped in this world. I didn’t know how difficult ctb was until I started researching it properly. I just think that it is terrible how suicide forums even have to exist in the first place, we all deserve the option of euthanasia and nobody should even have to research suicide on the internet at all. It is depressing how I am still thinking about suicide when instead I could be peacefully not existing. It is such a cruel world that we live in.
Yeah, and it's awful how the terminally ill can't even get euthanized in most countries. It is sad that there are only a small handful of countries like Belgium, The Netherlands and Switzerland that have these essential services in place. We put animals to sleep more humanely than humans. I can't stand the bastards in charge who block movements for real positive changes. All they do is force vulnerable people to take more risks to end their suffering while many don't have access to peaceful methods. It's a crying shame all round.
 
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chokti

chokti

Metaphysically Homeless
Feb 21, 2022
216
I like this place because I am admittedly attracted to others who hate life.

I don't think that I will ever be the type of person that believes that life is a gift, or is beautiful, or is worthy of the suffering.

Yes, it may not be entirely healthy to dwell here, especially if one still has at least a sliver of hope of getting their shit together, but I just feel alien around pro-lifers and pollyannas.
 
X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,734
I think forums like this are for the hesitant and people who have contemplated suicide for a while. The people who carry it out do so impulsively in reaction to recent life events. Killing oneself over a breakup is just not relatable to me at all.
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

a corpse is talking
Nov 23, 2020
1,140
I think there are lots of different flavors of people here, so to speak.

There have been members who stuck around for years whom I would have never expected to go so soon, because it seemed like life was on an upward trajectory for them if only for a short while. These were people who had been through a lot, yet still tried to make the most of life regardless of facing constant adversity. All it takes is onre too many stressed added to an existing pile of complex issues to push a chronically suicidal person over the edge, it feels like. We all have a point where we simply can't take this powerlessness anymore.

There are people who hang out here temporarily to vent or find information, but quickly feel more stable and then leave the site to focus on their real lives whilst dedicating themselves towards recovery, which is the best option one can hope for. I think usually many of these impulsive, short term members haven't been suicidal for very long so it is much easier for them to crawl out of the hole.

It's a very different story for people who have been suicidal for many years. Those of us in that camp often feel like our ship has already sailed and there isn't much we can do once there's no hope left to cling onto. I think there's something very disheartening about trying treatment after treatment, making change after change, and getting no results. I'm one of those people, which is why I'm still around after nearly two years of posting here, too scared to die but I know good and well that I've exhausted all my options and the world isn't kind to an autistic, traumatized weirdo like me.

Despite the fact that only one or two people from this place speak to me on a regular basis, I keep coming back for some reason. I'm incredibly lonely and have no one to talk to, so it can be reassuring to know that others are dealing with similar struggles. Ideally, I'd rather be dead than wasting away behind a screen, but survival instinct is a bitch.