Azure

Azure

Little Chemist
Jun 13, 2018
135
Nothing more than what the title says. I was struggling a bit with this and thought it'd be nice having some more people's opinions.

Anybody got that suicide letter writing guide, by the way?
 
Nihilistnow

Nihilistnow

Member
Jun 5, 2018
49
I’ll be saying goodbye generally to everyone with a simple “Sorry, love you all.” If I’m feeling vindictive I’ll just leave a note for my dad saying something like “I fucking hate you.” As much as one’s mind can run wild while fantasizing about this kind of stuff, I think it’s undoubtedly better to keep it brief.
 
deathwish

deathwish

-
Jun 16, 2018
71
Anybody got that suicide letter writing guide, by the way?
This?
https://archive.ashspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html#REF-1


For me.. I'll definitely write or record something. Been thinking a lot about a livestream too, but it'd require a lot of effort and am quite lazy. Still, it sounds cool, if i could write it well. for me, i can't ctb if i can't perfectly articulately justify it; same with most/preferably all me decisions. gotta share the reasoning because...hopefully spare some people some grief, and being misunderstood is one of my most loathed things.. even if i'm dead, i don't want people to be saying or thinking the wrong shit about me or why i did it.. i want there to be understanding
 
Azure

Azure

Little Chemist
Jun 13, 2018
135
skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

-
Apr 10, 2018
136
I plan to either leave a note or audio recording to all my loved ones. Something simple and to the point. Explain my reasons why, try to calm any guilt, and say I'm sorry. I might make one specifically to one person I care about.
 
MortDeVivre

MortDeVivre

"If a battle cannot be won, do not fight it."
May 31, 2018
140
There's only one person I'm saying a proper goodbye to, a friend on Tumblr. They know about what I want to do, and even though they said they don't want me to kill myself, they respect my choice. It's funny that a person I've only known online and for one year has been more supportive of me than my own parents.

And then there's the people I mention in my note (including my parents), but what I'll say to them will be less of a "goodbye" and more of a "fuck all y'all, can't wait to leave".
 
dhk96

dhk96

Member
May 8, 2018
94
Probably yes, just to tell them it wasn't their fault that I died (I'll omit that it's their fault I had to suffer by giving birth to me).

I fought with both my parents today so in my rage and sadness, I keep having second thoughts about making it somewhat easier for them. But I will likely go with a short letter telling them not to blame themselves, that no amount of therapy or medication would have 'changed' me, and that life simply wasn't for me. If you think writing a letter will ease some of their pains and you want to do it, then go for it.

It might depend on my mood when I die. I hope I'm in a better mood when I go so I don't do anything I would regret if I were alive. The me right now would be writing a very angry letter to my family lol.
 
Tiredman

Tiredman

Rest is best
Apr 30, 2018
229
Gonna write a note to make it as easy on my parents as possible because i know they'll be devastated. I might even record a video so that they can hear my voice one last time. My dads depressed so I'm going to make an extra effort to say that its not his fault because i dont want him trying to commit suicide because of me.
 
RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
1,775
I don't know to be honest. Words can always be misinterpreted so maybe it's better to say nothing at all. And how would I even be able to explain my suicide to someone? They wouldn't understand anyway. It would suck to appear offline forever to all my online contacts I've been talking to over the last few months but I think they'll figure out what happened at some point. Maybe I'll leave a note on my steam profile. A lot of social interactions circulated through my steam account. But I think I'll leave in silence.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
can't decide. I'm afraid my daughter will suffer even more grief should she learn I died of suicide than by accident. But I really really want to write her a note to et her know how much I loved her and how much joy she brought me. I'm stuck on this
 
Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
545
Yes, to my mother (I think I'll leave a letter or suicide note for her), to my friend who understands me and my intentions, to my beloved one (probably a phone call or send her a letter) and to all users on this marvelous and cozy forum.
 
Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
I don't know if this is an accurate perception, but all I see are people being very angry with me and a whole lot of the "suicide is selfish" stuff. Which is valid, I'm not going to tell anyone how to feel and I don't expect anyone in my life to understand my choice, I've gotten so little understanding thus far. So in light of that, I feel leaving detailed goodbyes would be disingenuous for me.
 
J

jake

Member
Aug 14, 2018
16
i've been working on letters to my kids for a while now, not so much as to say goodbye (although i am certainly saying that) but to let them know how very much i love them, how important they are, and to say those things that i would tell them in the future if i was still here. other than them, though, there is no one else to whom i need to say anything. i never had anything important enough to share during my life, so why waste everyone's time now?
 
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WaitingForTheBus

WaitingForTheBus

Student
Oct 27, 2018
136
I've already written emails to all of the people that matter to me. I am sure between now and the time I go, I will edit each one as necessary. They will receive them 2 days after I ctb. As I am completely isolated, apart from my prodigal daughter who returned home yesterday, this will be plenty of time.

The only person that I am unsure as to what to say is my daughter. She returned home yesterday an absolute emotional and psychological wreck. I'm worried if she knows that I died from suicide, she will also consider this to be her only option as well. She deserves better than that. I will also wait for her to be away on holidays before I do the inevitable.
 
Donna

Donna

Feeling so deep become our graves
Oct 5, 2018
174
I've already written emails to all of the people that matter to me. I am sure between now and the time I go, I will edit each one as necessary. They will receive them 2 days after I ctb. As I am completely isolated, apart from my prodigal daughter who returned home yesterday, this will be plenty of time.

The only person that I am unsure as to what to say is my daughter. She returned home yesterday an absolute emotional and psychological wreck. I'm worried if she knows that I died from suicide, she will also consider this to be her only option as well. She deserves better than that. I will also wait for her to be away on holidays before I do the inevitable.
I can relate to your daughter, my younger daughter also had and sometimes has psychological issues,she told me out of the blue this past summer she couldn’t live without me . Only because I broke down and cried telling her how empty I was inside ..It saddens me to think that I’d be hurting the ones that really care .But I’m trying to get my mindset different because we all go eventually, I just choose to go sooner .
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,822
I am --or was, before the writer's block entombed me-- a professional writer, so I've written a lot of notes. A couple friends who are seeing me through this know I'm planning to ctb and have asked that I notify them if I go. My birth family knows it's likely I'll ctb, and are upset, but at least the conversations we've had have been a starting place for me to address their fears and sorrows.

Two words of caution for anyone thinking of using an email delay service to deliver the notes after you're gone:

1) Test the system you intend to use with the specific recipients. A lot of ISPs see emails from the delay services as spam, and filter them out. This varies from ISP to ISP. I've had about half my friends never receive the test emails I sent them via Time Cave.

2) The free versions of those services typically limit you to two emails per day, or 20 per month, or something like that, with one recipient per email, so if you have half a dozen emails you want to send, you might be out of luck. Or you can get the paid version, which typically allows unlimited emails (I'm a cheap bast*rd, and always use the free version).

I just posted a dedicated thread about my rather unpleasant experience with Time Cave, if anyone's interested. The short version is that those services are neither secure nor reliably private.

I'm afraid my daughter will suffer even more grief should she learn I died of suicide than by accident. But I really really want to write her a note to et her know how much I loved her and how much joy she brought me. I'm stuck on this

I would be too. Maybe you could start a "journal" that she could read later? If you start it with an up-beat, optimistic note, and keep it regularly, every other day for a month, you could get down a lot of thoughts that she might find comfort/explanation in, and it wouldn't neccessarily be recognized as a farewell note.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I am --or was, before the writer's block entombed me-- a professional writer, so I've written a lot of notes. A couple friends who are seeing me through this know I'm planning to ctb and have asked that I notify them if I go. My birth family knows it's likely I'll ctb, and are upset, but at least the conversations we've had have been a starting place for me to address their fears and sorrows.

Two words of caution for anyone thinking of using an email delay service to deliver the notes after you're gone:

1) Test the system you intend to use with the specific recipients. A lot of ISPs see emails from the delay services as spam, and filter them out. This varies from ISP to ISP. I've had about half my friends never receive the test emails I sent them via Time Cave.

2) The free versions of those services typically limit you to two emails per day, or 20 per month, or something like that, with one recipient per email, so if you have half a dozen emails you want to send, you might be out of luck. Or you can get the paid version, which typically allows unlimited emails (I'm a cheap bast*rd, and always use the free version).

I just posted a dedicated thread about my rather unpleasant experience with Time Cave, if anyone's interested. The short version is that those services are neither secure nor reliably private.



I would be too. Maybe you could start a "journal" that she could read later? If you start it with an up-beat, optimistic note, and keep it regularly, every other day for a month, you could get down a lot of thoughts that she might find comfort/explanation in, and it wouldn't neccessarily be recognized as a farewell note.
thank you TiredHorse. That's just an excellent idea. Thanks for taking the time to share that with me.
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,822
Glad I could help, Longingforrelease. You're in a hell of a jam, with knowing you need to be a good parent and knowing also that you need to ctb. A can't imagine any two imperatives more difficult to reconcile.
 
GeenaPup

GeenaPup

Heroin addicted hopeless and need a good method.
Nov 2, 2018
4
Yeah for sure, I'll leave a letter for everyone important to me. No guilt tripping but just how much I love them and to bury my dog that passed now buried in the garden of my parents with me.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Glad I could help, Longingforrelease. You're in a hell of a jam, with knowing you need to be a good parent and knowing also that you need to ctb. A can't imagine any two imperatives more difficult to reconcile.
you do seem to get it my friend. Thanks again for your insight and compassion.