• Welcome to SanctionedSuicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

StateOfMind

StateOfMind

Liberty or Death
Joined
Apr 30, 2020
Messages
1,168
Despite my status as a neet depressed alcoholic stasi victim in mom's basement I felt surprisingly content and satisfied yesterday.

I don't know how to rationalize this other than the stasi laced my pizza delivery (which I have 3 to 4 times a week) with drugs that makes you more happy.
Maybe I need to go back to tin-food so they can't fuck with my emotional state.
Maybe its something more trivial like the weather getting nicer, I just don't know..

You might think this is a good thing, imo it's not because I need to know AND feel where I'm truly at, and that's dark miserable place.
It's not enough happiness to make any meaningful or positive changes but just enough to not kill myself.
I'm at whits end, I just need to end this bullshit.. I feel like life is trolling me.

Anyone else gets unexplained random spells of happiness despite being in a hopeless situation?
 
Albus Dumbledore

Albus Dumbledore

Wizard Normie Headmaster
Joined
Mar 30, 2021
Messages
304
I haven’t felt happy for at least 18 months. I’m not clear if it’s me or the medication or both

I’m quite a good actor so I appear superficially cheerful to people and know how to make them laugh (I think), so I don’t think most people know
 
Schöngeist

Schöngeist

Incompetent
Joined
Apr 28, 2021
Messages
534
hotelbeneathground said:
Don't worry, they don't last long
An interesting observation.
Most people, let's call them "normal" for lack of a better word, would say that life is mainly good with bad parts in between, but all life consists fundamentally of suffering. This can easily be proven:
If you sit down and don't do anything, you will die of starvation and dehydration.
If you eat and drink, but don't do anything else, you will go insane from lack of mental exercise and suffer horribly from lack of physical exercise.
Essentially, your entire life consists of conscious and unconscious effort to avoid suffering; you have to work all the time to at least live a neutral existence. This leads to the conclusion that life is mainly bad with good parts in between.
 
StateOfMind

StateOfMind

Liberty or Death
Joined
Apr 30, 2020
Messages
1,168
Albus Dumbledore said:
I haven’t felt happy for at least 18 months.
That's very specific. How did you keep track?
 
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

gay
Joined
Apr 13, 2021
Messages
2,992
Schöngeist said:
An interesting observation.
Most people, let's call them "normal" for lack of a better word, would say that life is mainly good with bad parts in between, but all life consists fundamentally of suffering. This can easily be proven:
If you sit down and don't do anything, you will die of starvation and dehydration.
If you eat and drink, but don't do anything else, you will go insane from lack of mental exercise and suffer horribly from lack of physical exercise.
Essentially, your entire life consists of conscious and unconscious effort to avoid suffering; you have to work all the time to at least live a neutral existence. This leads to the conclusion that life is mainly bad with good parts in between.
There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy. At every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence.
-- A. Schopenhauer
 
L

Leiden

Student
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
192
StateOfMind said:
Anyone else gets unexplained random spells of happiness despite being in a hopeless situation?
No
 
L

loopylou

Learn to fly
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
900
Yea sometimes. Usually when I have had vodka and uppers tho
 
Aloken

Aloken

I choose love
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
274
Yes, but for me, it's just and illusion. Like I'm fooling myself. Soon I'll feel to my bones how I need to go as soon as possible. Like what happened a few minutes ago, actually.
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,347
I can relate, especially during my breakdown some months ago.

I used to drink booze and order junk food everyday.

In spite being a super duper depressed NEET that was my happiness and escape. I was more than happy with just forgetting about this goddamn reality for some hours.

Now, I deal with the "real" reality from Monday to Friday but on Sats, omg...I'm so happy! Gonna get wasted AF today!
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Living dead girl
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
3,033
I wish I did. Sometimes I feel slightly a bit better but soon enough it is ripped away. It would be nice to have a break from the constant emptiness/anhedonia. I cannot remember what happiness feels like.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Leiden
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
F Castor beans Suicide Discussion 1
Sweet517 Castor Beans Suicide Discussion 3
AveryConure Venting Hahaha kewwwwllll beans guys (SN Update) Suicide Discussion 2

Similar threads