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onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
I'm sure there are other users on here who suffer from bipolar.

I'd like to start a thread to discuss experiences, treatments, etc.

As for me, I have been suffering from bipolar for around 15 years. My day to day life is very difficult. Some days I cannot think or speak, other days I just experience terrible mental anguish. The pain is usually so bad that I can't keep food down, I usually eat once a day. I have had one very bad manic episode, in which I was completely psychotic for several hours, walking through the streets screaming and raving about things that made no sense, then attempted suicide. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I have only had very minor manic episodes since then, and mainly suffer from extreme depression.

I have tried therapy, exercise, meditation, SSRIs and SNRIs, several antipsychotics and I am currently taking lithium, which is not working. I hope to start on a new treatment soon. I have read several papers on ketamine for treatment resistant depression (I have a science background) and would like to give it a go. I'll discuss it with my psychiatrist.

Currently the best treatment I've found is numbing the pain a little with alcohol and cigarettes haha

If you also suffer from bipolar, please share your experiences with it! I would love to know what it is like for other people going through something similar.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I'm surprised no one's picked up this thread I've discussed my story elsewhere here but in an extended mania I was consumed by hypersexuality - it ruined my life. cheated on my wife, solicited escorts, the whole nine yards.
 
onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
I'm surprised no one's picked up this thread I've discussed my story elsewhere here but in an extended mania I was consumed by hypersexuality - it ruined my life. cheated on my wife, solicited escorts, the whole nine yards.

Huh, I haven't heard of that with bipolar before. When I am manic I just feel terrible psychological pain and a rising negative energy.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Huh, I haven't heard of that with bipolar before. When I am manic I just feel terrible psychological pain and a rising negative energy.
I'm sorry to hear you suffer this way. I've done some research on hypersexuality and though it's well known (I believe it's in the DSM) I've read that therapists are often very uncomfortable discussing it with patients
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I get you. Me as well. Cheated on every partner when manic. You just can't help or stop it.
so sorry for you. It's a terrible thing. And of course you can't help but look like a fucking complete asshole for it. And even though I now have a better understanding of it, I'm still filled with shame and remorse
 
Norest4thewicked

Norest4thewicked

Losing it
Nov 4, 2018
271
so sorry for you. It's a terrible thing. And of course you can't help but look like a fucking complete asshole for it. And even though I now have a better understanding of it, I'm still filled with shame and remorse
You know yourself mate, you've been there too. Short term release, fucking the pain out, feel awful afterwards. Feel bad for my partner, bad for using the hook up, feel like scum myself. Brings on self hatred, shortly followed by the drop.
 
onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
Bipolar 2
don’t want to get into it but god do i miss being manic
ever since i started my meds for it i only get hit with the depressive episodes and disassociating

Interesting, I'm bipolar I and being manic is absolutely horrible for me. I've hear other people say that it's good too. I guess I just lucked out on my symptoms.