Aug 1, 2018
Has anyone read A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki? There is a letter on page 87 by Nao's father who goes through multiple suicide attempts which explains the significance of suicide--that life is like an illusion, shimmering and changing, and that suicide makes life feel real by 'cutting into pixels and finding blood', by 'making shadows bleed.'

Personally, sometimes I've felt being caught up in a dream, stalking the land of the living as a whisper of the imagination. It's like I've never existed, no one really cares, and while everyone continues to be grounded, having their own hobbies, jobs, while I'm awash with wave after wave of melancholy, ultimately having to escape to fantasy because any fluttering hope would be a reprieve. Maybe I'm also literally losing my grip on reality as I've just been diagnosed with young-onset dementia. Seeing everyone's pained expressions as my memory deteriorates and I stutter more in my speech just makes me decision to commit suicide even more unwavering.

Are there any books which you guys would recommend to help me come to terms with suicide? I'd like to read while I still can before everything vanishes. Thank you guys for listening.