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SweetSpot086

Student
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
146
I am a 27 yrs old NEET..I live with my parents because I have no source of income. I realized maybe my mental health is declining because of loneliness, but I am too fucked up to be in a relationship. I have my parents but I am gonna outlive them plus I dont really like them that much. So, my question is Can you find happiness in isolation? Are there any famous examples? I was looking into various philosophies of life to find the answer. I stumbled upon Stoicism and they encourage marriage. I am just afraid of growing old alone.
 
Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Messages
6,372
I don't think you should worry about growing old alone just yet. You're at an age when things can change quickly. Suddenly a job opportunity may appear and you'll meet new people and perhaps even someone to love. I'm not saying that it definitely will happen, but I'm saying that it absolutely is possible.
 
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whywere

Enlightened
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1,059
HI! I think that @Sensei is spot on with her post. I am 65 years young and I had friends way back, not now, and I did not have a serious relationship till I was 28. I do not have friends now, at this stage for me, everyone is different if I may add, it would be great to have a friend, but I am NOT going to spend time and effort on it. If it happens great, if not so be it. NOW, at your young age of 27, you have A LOT of time and adventures ahead of you and you will do great. Like @Sensei said, a job, a chance meeting somewhere, food shop, park, ANYWHERE and you might find the one. Never say never is one of my mottos. Sending you lots of hugs and support for your future. Walter
 
luten

luten

work, love, and learn
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
310
Remember that loneliness, and getting married are two different things. You dont need to get married to not feel alone. Personally, I think one of the final nails in my coffin is loneliness, it was one of the mistakes that I made, but I am much older than you are, there is still hope for you. Now, there are people living in isolation for religious/spiritual purposes, but I dont think they are mentally ill (not saying that your are). I dont see myself living in a cave while on anti-everything, and expecting to find happiness.
 
Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,029
No. Humans are social animals. It’s not healthy to live like this. I don’t care how many people chime in to say that they somehow prefer it or have gotten used to it. It’s like saying someone has successfully managed their chronic pain - we all know they still suffer that pain.
 
WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,335
Hi, 33 here!

When I turned 30, I became a NEET for almost 3 years.

Now, I'm working again but I'm totally isolated.
I work and study from home.
I only talk to people virtually on chats or videocalls but I don't feel alone nor lonely at all so, to answer yourt question, yes, you can be totally happy in isolation as long as you have some kind of online communication at least.

However, there are some people who really need to be with someone physically! (I won't say that I wouldn't be happy if I could be with a girl hugging me in my bed while watching Netflix lol)

Whatever happens, wish you the best!

Hugs,

Matt
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Average ctb enjoyer
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
3,628
Very rare, but some people can. If I wasn't scared of the future and worked on the remaining self-defeating shit in my head I might be one of those. About the love thing, I'll quote myself (not narcissistic):

GenesAndEnvironment said:
So what I figured out is that you have to have been intimate with a man/woman to know if you are compatible and if she/he is someone you would actually want to be in a relationship with. This includes having had sex with the person and even having had lived together for a certain amount of time. And how many people are there like this, how many are there that you know you want to date? For me it's zero, so I have no reason to be sad or jealous of romantic relationships. There are just no specific examples of people that I should desire, so there is no wanting.

Hope it makes sense, easy peasy lemon squeezy.
 
Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Mage
Joined
May 14, 2018
Messages
507
whywere said:
but I am NOT going to spend time and effort on it. If it happens great, if not so be it. NOW, at your young age of 27, you have A LOT of time
This is were I'm at. I'm 43 if it happens it happens. I tried a dating site once, just to make friends and it felt dirty and unnatural to me.
 
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whywere

Enlightened
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1,059
Throwawaysoul said:
This is were I'm at. I'm 43 if it happens it happens. I tried a dating site once, just to make friends and it felt dirty and unnatural to me.
I totally agree with you. I tried a few sites and ya right, no thanks. Not getting risque, but at 65, I look for brains and personality, sex is just that and when I sit across the dining room table, I appreciate a good conversation. It has to be much more deep for me than just the sex aspect. Walter
 
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Beachedwhale

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 3, 2021
Messages
495
No. We were evolved to live in hunter gatherer tribes. We were always with people for 99% of our history. We are highly social animals.
 
UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

Fugazi
Joined
Dec 4, 2020
Messages
1,534
The only thing making my isolation uncomfortable are people. If I never met one I would've turn out fine.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Messages
6,372
whywere said:
HI! I think that @Sensei is spot on with her post.

If I may be nit-picky, it's actually "him", not "her". :wink:
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Living dead girl
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
1,806
I guess personally, I prefer isolation to being around people. I find them exhausting. I guess It isn’t for everyone though and many people need to be around others for their wellbeing.
 
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whywere

Enlightened
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1,059
Sensei said:
If I may be nit-picky, it's actually "him", not "her". :wink:
I am so, so sorry, I had to guess, and I had a 50/50 chance of getting it right, and of course dumb Walter got it wrong. I sincerely and heart felt apologize for the mistake for real. We are ALL one family here period and yep I make judgment errors and mistakes, boy do I have egg on my face! Please do not be offended as I had to guess and now I know. Thank you so much for telling me. Sending you hugs and another "I am so, so sorry" Walter
 
Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Messages
6,372
Sensei said:
If I may be nit-picky, it's actually "him", not "her". :wink:

whywere said:
I am so, so sorry, I had to guess, and I had a 50/50 chance of getting it right, and of course dumb Walter got it wrong. I sincerely and heart felt apologize for the mistake for real. We are ALL one family here period and yep I make judgment errors and mistakes, boy do I have egg on my face! Please do not be offended as I had to guess and now I know. Thank you so much for telling me. Sending you hugs and another "I am so, so sorry" Walter

Don't worry, Walter. I'm not offended at all. I pointed it out just for the record. :)
 
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NormaJeane

NormaJeane

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2021
Messages
249
SweetSpot086 said:
I am a 27 yrs old NEET..I live with my parents because I have no source of income. I realized maybe my mental health is declining because of loneliness, but I am too fucked up to be in a relationship. I have my parents but I am gonna outlive them plus I dont really like them that much. So, my question is Can you find happiness in isolation? Are there any famous examples? I was looking into various philosophies of life to find the answer. I stumbled upon Stoicism and they encourage marriage. I am just afraid of growing old alone.
No, no human is created to live in isolation. Humans are social beings.
 
listeningpost1379

listeningpost1379

enduring winter
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
92
If isolation just means being a NEET, then yes, I believe it is possible. It depends on the person. I have spent long periods of my life being a NEET and in isolation. Due to personal circumstances I am forced to move around the world a lot, so never kept down a job or had a home, no family or friend around. While the technical difficulties of such a lifestyle (paperworks, taxes, visas, lack of citizenship rights, no one to teach me how to adult in the first place, real estates, moving etc) wear me down horribly, the isolation is one of the pros for me. I would not have it any other way. I enjoy my own company very much, I think it is just in my nature to thrive in isolation. Just keeping contact with family overwhelms me already, I truly do not desire more.

If you still have to wonder, though, perhaps you are not cut out for it. Many people are depressed because they feel inadequate with themselves.

In my early 20's there was a time when my laptop broke and I did not have a smartphone or TV, not even a music player. I was out of work and spent some months just reading and listening to the rain (it was monsoon season). It was beautiful. Never even contacted my best friend. Living condition was pretty drab but I felt so, so happy. I knew then that I truly love being alone.
 
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