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C

chemystry

Member
Jul 7, 2018
14
Hey everyone,

I'm new to this site, but I've been determined to off myself for almost a year now, and I think I've done a pretty solid amount of legwork on choosing a method. I've come to the conclusion that carbon monoxide poisoning would be the most efficient, painless method. So I've just gotta decide where to get that carbon monoxide from.

There's a few options:
1) My car's catalytic converter is busted, so I think I could potentially do the classic hose-attached-to-the-exhaust-pipe trick.
2) I work in a research lab, and I could probably swipe some formic acid and sulfuric acid without anyone noticing. (For those unfamiliar with this method, formic acid and sulfuric acid react to produce a lot of carbon monoxide.)
3) I could drive to a secluded location somewhere and burn some charcoal in my car.

I'm leaning towards the third option, personally. The first one seems sort of unreliable since I'm not sure exactly how busted my catalytic converter is, and the second one seems risky because I'd need to set up a reaction vessel, plus if I get caught stealing chemicals, I will likely end up in prison.

My plan so far is this:
1) Spend the next two weeks getting my affairs in order. My planned death date is Friday, July 20th after I'm done with work for the day because that'd maximize the time before anyone notices I'm missing.
2) Buy a charcoal grill, a bag of charcoal briquettes, and a decent lighter. Though lump charcoal is more pure, I'd prefer charcoal briquettes because lump charcoal burns out more quickly and produces more smoke (and I'd rather die from carbon monoxide, not smoke inhalation).
3) Drive to a nearby river or to a random dirt road. I'd kind of prefer the river because I plan to dispose of my laptop and phone there before I do the deed, but since it's summer and people go camping and stuff, I'm worried that there would be a higher chance of discovery. If I go with the dirt road, I'll probably just bury my laptop and phone.
4) Light the charcoal outside of the car and wait until it burns down to glowing embers.
5) Place the charcoal grill in the trunk of the car, get in, shut the trunk, take several deep breaths, fall asleep, and hopefully never wake up. (I want to do it in the trunk because it's a smaller space, plus if someone does pass by, they'll just see an empty car instead of a person lying comatose with a burning grill in the backseat, at which point they would presumably call the cops. I can also lower the backseat from the trunk, so I wouldn't be trapped if I suddenly develop an overwhelming, passionate desire to live, or if something goes wrong, like the charcoal catching something on fire.)

Concerns:
-Finding a location where I won't be interrupted is critical, because if I get interrupted, I could end up alive but with really bad brain damage from hypoxia, and that would make my life 1000% times worse. It'd be preferable to do it in the privacy of my apartment, but my room is much larger than my car, and I don't want to endanger my roommates.
-It's really important that I get rid of my laptop and phone because A) I don't really want people rifling through my search history/documents/photos/etc. after I'm gone and B) I have a friend I've discussed suicide with at length over text, and I don't want him to get fucked over for assisted suicide or something. I'm worried investigators will search the immediate area around the site of my death and find the devices. The easy solution would be to dispose of them in a separate location, but I want this plan to go as quickly as possible so I don't lose my nerve during it.
-I'm worried about timing with the charcoal. Obviously, I don't want to lock myself in my trunk with a literal fire, but I want to make sure I maximize the amount of carbon monoxide I'm inhaling, so I don't want to wait too long.

Does anyone have any feedback on my plan or any advice on how to address the concerns?
 
Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
555
Your method and tactic sounds very effective. I would think there is almost no chance you will survive that attempt.
What caught my attention the most is how you are planning to do it in the trunk.
It seems to me you are very serious.
Only thing I didn't see you mention is the carbon monoxide meter.
 
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Gumby

Gumby

Student
Jun 10, 2018
104
You'll be able to fit in the trunk with the grill, the spare tire, etc? You won't get claustrophobic and have the urge to get out?
 
C

chemystry

Member
Jul 7, 2018
14
Your method and tactic sounds very effective. I would think there is almost no chance you will survive that attempt.
What caught my attention the most is how you are planning to do it in the trunk.
It seems to me you are very serious.
Only thing I didn't see you mention is the carbon monoxide meter.

Good call on the carbon monoxide meter, thanks! And yeah, I've put a lot of thought into this. Pretty sure I'm incurable, so I might as well direct all my energy into finding a permanent, relatively painless way out.
 
C

chemystry

Member
Jul 7, 2018
14
You'll be able to fit in the trunk with the grill, the spare tire, etc? You won't get claustrophobic and have the urge to get out?

It won't be terribly comfortable, but I figure I'll be unconscious quickly enough that it won't matter. I'm getting a small grill and I'll clear out my trunk before I do it, so I should be able to fit.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
Wow you have really put some thought into this.thankyou for sharing your ideas.
 
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N

nopoint

Member
Jul 5, 2018
68
CO poisoning is irreversible. If you put DNR (Do not resuscitate) somewhere visible on your body, then they can't "save" you.
That's how I want to go too.
 
EternalSanction

EternalSanction

-
Jun 7, 2018
251
CO poisoning is irreversible. If you put DNR (Do not resuscitate) somewhere visible on your body, then they can't "save" you.
That's how I want to go too.
Sorry, but thats just not true.
Emergency services are mostly required to help you and will do so no matter what. Try and sue them, but they will get sued by your family or anyone else if they don't assist you so it doesn't matter for them if you put up such a sign.
So better make sure you're not found too early, that's the only safe way.
 
Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
the BBQ puts out a tremendous amount of heat. I tried this method in a suburban with 2 bags of match light and survived, there was heat damage to the interior of the windows and the roof, I was laying down in the back cargo area about 4 feet of clearance and noticed no heat. I woke up in the morning I could tell there was brain damage. But nothing physical was wrong.
 
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Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
Mostly
What kind of brain damage? How could you tell that you had brain damage?
Mostly in slower thought processing, there also is difficulty in thought to speech.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
You shouldn't try to do this during the summer but you should try to do this during the winter instead. During the summer, all the fucking normies are outside, camping, driving around, having picnics etc. Most people don't want to go out when it's dark and cold.
 
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P

Panda

-
Jun 25, 2018
34

Why in the trunk? Honestly if it were me (CO is my chosen method too) I would put the grill on the floor or on the back seat in a tray of cold water so the fabric doesnt melt or set alight. Charcoal produces CO for a very very very long time so personally I would plan to maybe have a drink or something when you get in with the charcoal, something to help you fall asleep for the last time. I had a barbecue recently and the morning after I checked the coals and while they looked completely grey and burned, I could feel small amount of heat radiating from it which means the partial combustion is still going and CO is still being produced. The CO is only produced by partial combustion and not full combustion, so there would be no sense in placing the coals in your car before the flames are completely died down and maybe even wait a while longer. Seal every crack in the car just to be safe, place the coals in, wait 30 mins and have a drink/sleeping pills.

Do not expect to fall asleep after a few deep breaths, that will be your biggest mistake. Even if it takes a very long time to pass out, if you use something to help you sleep then very low concentrations of CO will still kill you but just a little slower.

As someone else pointed out, idk about getting in the trunk with it... you won't pass out fast enough and if you're right next to the bbq then yeah it's probably going to get really uncomfortable. Just find somewhere secluded enough, you could burn the charcoal in one place then walk to your car parked in a more secluded location and get in with the coals. Once the coals are smouldering you can dump them out of the grill into something like a steel bucket to make it more convenient, low airflow is good because it means more CO rather than CO2. Just make sure to have a tray of water or something, the heat above will only be intense a few inches so you don't have to worry too much about that.
 
S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
I plan on buying a cylinder of CO from a gas supplier. Seems easier than having to worry about if coals will produce enough etc. Costs more but if it is the last thing I do I might as well do not properly.
 
PhilistineEars

PhilistineEars

Member
Jul 1, 2018
62
I plan on buying a cylinder of CO from a gas supplier. Seems easier than having to worry about if coals will produce enough etc. Costs more but if it is the last thing I do I might as well do not properly.
Depending on where you live that may be difficult. Unless you have a legit reason to purchase CO, suppliers may look at you sideways and wonder what you’re really up to.
 
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S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
Depending on where you live that may be difficult. Unless you have a legit reason to purchase CO, suppliers may look at you sideways and wonder what you’re really up to.

It seems easy enough to get here atleast but I would have a legit reason lined up if they asked. Pretty sure it is illegal to refuse service to someone without cause so should be fine.
 
S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
I will keep it in mind as an option if just buying one doesn't work out. Thanks
 
S

Sternum

Student
May 12, 2018
121
I will keep it in mind as an option if just buying one doesn't work out. Thanks

Sure. If you end up using formic acid + sulphuric acid, car exhaust, or charcoal briquettes, it would be tough to know for sure you have sufficient concentration of carbon monoxide. You may want to invest in a meter so you can test it first and be sure you have sufficient concentration. Peaceful pill handbook says you can reach death in 25-30 min (with some preceding headache, dizziness, and nausea) if CO is 6400 parts per million, or death in 1-2 minutes with essentially no unpleasant symptoms if CO is 12,800 or greater).

Here’s one I’m looking at: https://www.amazon.com/TPI-Carbon-Monoxide-Analyzer-Kit/dp/B01C3DTF8Y

Since I’ve thought about a plan similar to yours, just wanted to put it out there, locking yourself in the trunk may induce panic in the last moment, knowing you can’t escape. Like you, I’ve known for quite a while that I plan to kill myself, and at this point I see no circumstance where I will change my mind. Nevertheless, at the time when I have been close to suicide, I have had major panic (survival instinct is really strong). If you have carbon monoxide with you in your car but not in your trunk, knowing you can open the door if you choose may help to ease that survival instinct until you slip into consciousness and don’t realize it’s too far to change your mind. But if you close the trunk, before you lose consciousness, it’s possible that panic could make that end really scary. Just a thought. Actually , now that I wrote that, I realize this applies to OP, not you, since you will buy a tank. But I guess it’s worth considering for anyone.
 
S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
Sure. If you end up using formic acid + sulphuric acid, car exhaust, or charcoal briquettes, it would be tough to know for sure you have sufficient concentration of carbon monoxide. You may want to invest in a meter so you can test it first and be sure you have sufficient concentration. Peaceful pill handbook says you can reach death in 25-30 min (with some preceding headache, dizziness, and nausea) if CO is 6400 parts per million, or death in 1-2 minutes with essentially no unpleasant symptoms if CO is 12,800 or greater).

Here’s one I’m looking at: https://www.amazon.com/TPI-Carbon-Monoxide-Analyzer-Kit/dp/B01C3DTF8Y

Since I’ve thought about a plan similar to yours, just wanted to put it out there, locking yourself in the trunk may induce panic in the last moment, knowing you can’t escape. Like you, I’ve known for quite a while that I plan to kill myself, and at this point I see no circumstance where I will change my mind. Nevertheless, at the time when I have been close to suicide, I have had major panic (survival instinct is really strong). If you have carbon monoxide with you in your car but not in your trunk, knowing you can open the door if you choose may help to ease that survival instinct until you slip into consciousness and don’t realize it’s too far to change your mind. But if you close the trunk, before you lose consciousness, it’s possible that panic could make that end really scary. Just a thought. Actually , now that I wrote that, I realize this applies to OP, not you, since you will buy a tank. But I guess it’s worth considering for anyone.

Thanks the CO meter is a good idea I will make sure I her one. Also thanks for the tip about not using the boot. I actually plan on doubling up for "safety" (haha).

Nitrogen and a full face scuba mask and then CO in the car too incase the seal on the mask doesn't remain tight after I pass out. I would also have Covered the windows so whoever finds me can't see my body and put up signs warning of the toxic gas and that I have died long ago so to not look and just call emergency services.
 
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Edward

Edward

Belial
Jul 12, 2018
24
This a really helpful thread, thanks for all the inspiration. Not sure how quickly I could accomplish any of this, but I’m most definitely going to store this away for future reference.
 
PhilistineEars

PhilistineEars

Member
Jul 1, 2018
62
I’ve looked around at meters and there is only one that claims to detect at 10000ppm but the reliability reviews are not encouraging. Most meters are calibrated for life safety range 50-1000ppm.

I was thinking of getting a CO meter that’s made for car combustion. This reads out as a % CO and these range between 10-20% detection.

They are spendy ($3-$4K)
 
PhilistineEars

PhilistineEars

Member
Jul 1, 2018
62
Yeah,

here’s the tank for $171: https://www.amazon.com/Calibration-gas-Carbon-Monoxide-ppm-Air-Liter/dp/B07C7MCSPT

Here’s the the meter for $337: https://www.amazon.com/TPI-Carbon-Monoxide-Analyzer-Kit/dp/B01C3DTF8Y

Are you finding tanks listed as CO% rather than PPM? The helium and nitrogen tanks I’ve found were percentages, but CO was in PPM.
I work in industries that use technical grade concentrations as cylinders. These go theory suppliers that you must have a registered business and use for the material before they’ll ship it out.