2/10 - barely coping. Eating, sleeping, playing video games, and being on this forum is what my life has come to. Don't even have the motivation to prepare for ctb but I'm getting closer to having all sorted out. Can't deal with this shit anymore. I just wanna fall asleep and not wake up anymore.
I guess a 4/10, I was clearly worse. Today I'm just sad and even though I'm angry it has nothing to do with when I have a fit of anger or shocks start (what I call shocks are very strong tics that catch me when I'm very nervous, usually not I have no tic).
Let's see how the day goes.
Suposo que un 4/10, he estat clarament pitjor. Avuí només estic trist, i tot i que m'emprenyo no te pas rés a veure a quan tinc un atac d'ira o comencen les sacsejades (el que jo dic sacsejades són tics molt forts que m'agafen quan estic molt nerviós, normalment no tinc cap tipus de tic).
10 + ive got so much I want to say.. years and years of built up head hell it's a joke not knowing where to start so easier to just find an end.
I've reached out I've screamed and shouted but get ignored sad thing is " family and " friends know its coming but still remain oblivious and ignorant.
I've not wrote before but I'm desperate for the comfort I get from SS and people who actually get how I'm feeling..
Thank you all for helping even though you didn't know you were.
I have been doing the ratings backwards here. So, it's somewhere between 1.25 and 1.50/10.00 - So Still Struggling, just as lonely, depressed, fearful, feeling horrible and unwell. I'm Very tired, yet there are things I must do / take care of, somehow.
2/10. Stressed and over it. Going shopping today for supplies. Getting my will witnessed and signed. Suddenly all of my relatives, who I've not spoken to in many years because of their toxic ways, will be coming out of the woodwork, when I CTB, to get their grubby mits on my property and what little money I have. Want to make sure they get nothing and it all goes to a local charity. FYI my family are well off and don't need it. I'm sure they were crying into their money during lockdowns, when many were losing their jobs. They did unforgivable things to me when I was growing up. Fk 'em.
0.5/10.00 I want to die. Im not really eating cuz no appetite. sleeping 16+hr day & thats still not enough. i wish i never had to get outta bed. I want to be able to enjoy life, or even enjoy bad habits like using drugs and heroin but im so sick now. and i have no one, no help. The end is near and in sight.