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Dreams and Visions

Dreams and Visions

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2021
Messages
15
Good morning,

I've been a now long-time lurker of this site. This was was mostly due to the fact that one of my only friends decided to take their life last year. Prior, I long struggled with depression and suicidal ideation. With my only friend deciding to take his life, a severe car accident, the death of a parent, a major break-up of a 10+ relationship, and suddenly finding myself extremely isolated in a new province and far away from home, I think this was all a perfect storm for me.

I have had a tough time committing to recovery over the past year since the shock of my friend's death and have ended up back here on two occasions, most recently creating an account. Some days have been better than others. My depression and PTSD are probably going to be something that I will monitor for the rest of my life; sort of like doing dishes. I will have to keep an eye on it, and although sometimes I would expect that some days I'll have help maintaining this practice, on most days I will be tending to it myself.

I have grown a lot from these experiences, and I feel that I am more empathetic and hopefully one day will be able to help others.

I appreciate the rawness of this forum, to which I think that everyone could learn a thing or two from, and I really hope that one day, healthcare will undergo a reform to where those who struggle are treated with dignity and respect. I also hope that one day, we will come to a point where mental illness isn't taboo; where we can support each other as a community and a society, where mercy comes before judgement and where everyone knows that they have a place, a right to be content, a right for peace, and love and support.

I guess that is the idealist in me saying all of this. I just wanted to wish everyone here all the love in the world, and would like to extend all of my encouragement to those who are unsure if they want to commit to recovery. It's sort of like leaving this place of familiarity, of relative comfort but also distress, and searching for another, and taking that risk to find out if there is something out there for us. It's scary, and a difficult decision, especially if you are like me in that you struggle with mental illness, and have had difficulty with relationships, as well as coping with life.

Anyways, through all of this, and my own commitment to recovery, all the best to all of you -- you all are such kind people, and I can see that your heart lies in a good place.

Farewell,
Dreams and Visions
 

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T

timf

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
426
Your post seems to capture an anticipated weariness and drudgery from a path of recovery that often arises with a lack of hope. However, persistence on that path often brings surprising encounters of small successes that can build to a basis for real hope.

Having a heart for others is also a good indicator of a brighter future.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,347
Recovery is not an easy path but if we do our best, we'll manage to do it!
These months, I've been doing much better than last year but there days on which I just wanna give up.

Wish you the best on this journey,

Hope you can feel better really soon!

Hugs and love,

Matt
 
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