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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
560
Hi, everyone!

Feel free to use this thread as a central place for sharing all of your creative writing. This could be poems, lyrics, prompts, short stories, etc. If you're not much of a writer but it's something that interests you, you can ask for advice here as well. I'm horrible at writing but I love reading, so I look forward to everyoine sharing their works :)

Please, remember to be respectful!
 
Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Visionary
May 5, 2020
2,580
I just sent a manuscript to a children's book publishing house recently. They said it would take 4 months or so for a reply. I won't be holding my breath for it. Anyway, apart from that I have nothing really to share. I am fairly private on these matters at the moment. Good luck with the post though.
 
Lawliet

Lawliet

b a n g
Sep 15, 2020
284
i guess i will go first :)) i write a lot of sad poetry.

“WILT”
our friendship, wilting
but who says it ever bloomed
rotten from the start


“HEARTLESS”
cut my heart into little strips,
hang them on my wall
show my friends and family
that i've got one, after all


and the one in my signature:

“LIVING DEAD”
most people die
when they're only teenagers,
but aren't even buried
'til they're past seventy-five
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
i feel like its stupid, like it really falls off near the end (while writing i also felt like it was dragging on) and could be better. i feel like it could be better in general. but ill share it anyway..

Walking By
Alone in a dark corner the girl sat. Knees pulled to her chest. Her head in her hands, as tears created a river down her cheeks.
Her head feeling dizzy. Her body weak. She could feel her heart pound, fresh blood escaping her wounds.
To the left a bottle. The right a lighter. In front a blade, and above hung a rope.
Hearing sobbing from the streets, a boy couldnt help but investigate. Travelling up a dark staircase and down a dingy hall, he finally finds where the distressed crying is coming from.
Kneeling down beside her, a hand on her shoulder "why do you cry so much?" the boy coaxed.
Wiping tears away, as pointless as it was, the girl responds, "im hurting"
"why are you hurting?" not daring to get any closer out of fear of the objects around her.
"my mind wont be quiet and theres a hole in my heart" she said, more tears streaming down her cheeks. Wrapping his hand in his sleeve, gesturing towards her the boy asks, "may i?". The girl, finally lifting her head, looked at the boy and without a word allowed him to wipe away her tears. She thought to herself that it finally felt nice, not feeling so alone.
Looking down at her arm the boy remembered seeing another room on the way up. "Can we get you cleaned up?" Now also looking down at the mess, the girl sees the blood soaking her sleeve, not noticing previously due to the numb feeling inside. "Yeah, i guess," she mutters, not having the energy to care.
"I'll be right back" the boy chirped before going back out the door. While she knew the boy meant well, the girl couldnt help feeling her heart get heavy. Hearing those words so many times in the past, and yet still she was here alone. They don't come back...
But the boy did...this time...
Falling back down beside her the boy sets out the medical supplies he collected from down the hall. Reaching his hand out, the girl pulls hers closer. "It's ok. I'm not going to judge you, I just want to help you" Fearful, the girl slowly lets her hand go. Taking her hand, the boy gently runs his fingers down her hand. Slowly pulling her sleeve back to reveal the damage. Feeling exposed the girl begins to cry again. "hey," he hushed, "its ok". Moving his hand back to her shoulder to comfort her, while still holding her hand.
The girl retracted. Swiftly pulling her hand back, her wrist burning as her muscles moved. More tears welling in her eyes. With the boys hand still on her shoulder, he looks around, "is it ok if we move these so i can help you better?" Reluctantly the girl shook her head yes. "Im just putting them over by the wall." The girl watched as he slowly, cautiously moved the bottle, blade and lighter out of the way.
"May i have your hand again? You cant neglect it" he fussed with fear and worry in his eyes.
Slowly releasing her hand, the boy once again put it in his. Taking the wet wash cloth, he wiped away the already drying blood. Applying flower band-aids he happened to find, that he hoped would help brighten her day.
The girl just watched. Looking at him, at what he was doing, then back at him. Once the last band-aid was applied the girl spoke, "wh..why did you come up here"
"I heard you crying, and the door was open a little so I had to see what was wrong" his voice soft, and inviting.
"Oh" the girl said under her breath. While she had a lot on her mind, she didnt want to keep talking.
"Why are you up here alone?" the boy inquired.
Pulling her hand back, and her sleeve down she mumbled "so i can be alone," the words as sharp as the razor set aside.
"May i sit up here with you? So you dont have to be alone?" he gently pleaded. For a while the girl didnt say anything, just sat there contemplating all the possibilities. Looking around, at herself, her "belongings", him. She couldnt possibly let him hang around.
He noticed her hesitation, "i promise i dont care about any of that, i just care about you. I see you here and i worry about you. I cant just leave you here like this"
Thinking to herself, he'll leave like everyone else soon enough, she sighed "sure, why not"

It started with talking. Then he would bring cards, board games for them to do when he dropped by. Bringing treats like ice cream or cookies. Then slowly the items got thrown away, and slowly her wounds began to heal. The dark, dingy home slowly becoming brighter. The weeks turning into months, he slowly broke down her wall, stone by stone.
 
A

akirat9

エクトリアン
Sep 23, 2022
386
[npc_l_sekai]: 私の兄は自殺で亡くなりました。
[npc_l_sekai]: 彼はベルトを取り、寝室のドアの後ろの壁に釘付けにして、前かがみになりました。
[npc_l_sekai]: 彼がいつでもこれを止めようとした兆候はありませんでした。
[npc_l_sekai]: 私を悩ませているのは、彼が意識を失った瞬間まで感じていたに違いない絶望と悲しみです.
[npc_l_sekai]: そこにいられたらよかったのに。
[npc_l_sekai]: 死ぬ権利を尊重すると彼に伝えるために。
 
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A

akirat9

エクトリアン
Sep 23, 2022
386
ヴィンセント:見事な演技だ、カーフネディ
ナルジン:よくやった、小僧。
ウェン・リー: *チャックル*
ウェン・リー:ありがとうございます
ウェン・リー:ちょ、ちょっと!?待ってください!私は子供ではありません

[tān_ōkī_vins]
ヴィンセント: そうだ
ナルジン:何とでも言ってください。
ウェンリー:うぅ、田舎者のために無駄遣いしてしまったようだ。

[aruku_awei]

ヴィンセント: もう一つの方法?
ナルジン ダイアログ: そうです。

[ジャンプ|: ウェン・リー]です。

ウェンリー:ひゃっほう! 待って!!

[アニメ イベント| ヴィンセント|ナルジン ]です。

ナルジン:ブンサヌ・ダク・シア・タクリランサ・タム・アヒフ。//→ ["// "まずはこの小人を追い払わなければならない"]] 。

[アニメ|: ウェン・リー]です。

ウェンリー:なんだお前......!?

[アニメ_ウェン・リー|アニメ__ダイアログ]です。

ウェンリー:おい、何言ってるんだ!?この辺の人じゃないでしょう?
ウェンリー:そのアクセントは聞いたことがない。

[ブレーク]

ウェン・リー:うーん...。
ウェン・リー:です。そういえば、見覚えがありますね。
ウェン・リー:それは、現在帝国によって戒厳令が敷かれている町と同じなのか?

ナルジン:......。

ヴィンセント:うん。

ウェン・リー:なるほどね〜。

ウェン・リー: 先陣を切るぞー!

ナルジン:なぜ!?

ウェン・リー:だって、忘れちゃいけないから
ウェン・リー:この辺の主役は私よ!!

ウェン・リー:あなたたちは、エリトリア航路の内部への道を探しているんでしょう?

ヴィンセント: ああ、でも...

ウェン・リー:残念でしたね。

ヴィンセント:ええ、でも......残念ね!通路は、あのネズミのような帝国軍から厳重に守られていて、偉そうにここに押し入ってきたんだから

ウェン・リー: を、私は見た。彼らは、この場所を襲撃し、容赦なく、立ちはだかるジリサンの兵士を一人一人殺していった。

ウェン・リー: 私は必要でない限り、暴力的な証言はしないが...

ウェン・リー: 帝国からの無分別な殺戮は馬鹿げている!

ヴィンセント: もちろんです。
ヴィンセント: 俺たちは反乱軍の仲間だ。僕はヴィンセントで、彼はナルジンです。

ウェン・リー: です。反乱軍ですか?
ウェン・リー: エリトリアへの潜入に使ったものですか?

ヴィンセント: まあ...
ウィンリィ: 他に何をしようとしてる?

ヴィンセント:?

ウェン・リー:まあ、どうしても覗きたいなら、私について来てください。この辺は詳しいから。

ナルジン:ヴィンセント、ちょっと待った、を待つ必要があります。

ウェン・リー:こっちだ!!

ナルジン:ああ、もう。
 
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A

akirat9

エクトリアン
Sep 23, 2022
386
クリエイティブ・ライティングは情熱です。それがすべてです。
であり続けるでしょう。
夢...希望.... 失望を生むだけだ

あきら
 
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M

Mephistopheles

-
Oct 5, 2022
10
It was the end of days, it was the end of times.

And we were all there
Stuck in a cursed and
godforsaken place
Planet Earth they called it,
Nothing more than a
Battered and derelict maze

Our worries all cut-throat
And large
And
Us,
Forlorn and
Frightened
by
Tomorrow's forge

And we whispered
To our scarred, tortured selves:

It's the end of times
It's the end of days
Now the hour has struck
The hangman shall have his pay

And we cut
deeper and deeper
Into our skin

And we set our hair aflame
And
Groaned
And
Cried
As we fucked
Under the lecherous sky

And we sighed,
For
It was the end of time
It was the end of days

Our hearts were beating
As we stumbled
Lustful and famished
But it was nothing at all
Like what we had imagined

Was it the end of times?
Was it the end of days?
It was the dusk of terror
And the dawn of
Utter savagery

El cid
Ravaged
Our daughters
And malinche howled
And screamed
With a knife dug
Deep
Between her
Breasts

And the plains
Reeked
Of Ash
And burning hair

It was the end of times
It was the end of days

But
the stars still shone
High above
Our mortal pyre
And we were all alone
As Troy was lit afire

But no horseman
Rode upon those
Barren fields.
Strife, plague and famine
Bore
No fucking steed,
Only
A bloody helm
And
Naked steel

And
Down in the ruined world
We heard nothing but
Abaddon's sweet
But
wretched
Tune
Fall
Suddenly
Like
A forlorn
whisper

And we
Knew
It was the end
of days..."
 
rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,280
It was the end of days, it was the end of times.

And we were all there
Stuck in a cursed and
godforsaken place
Planet Earth they called it,
Nothing more than a
Battered and derelict maze

Our worries all cut-throat
And large
And
Us,
Forlorn and
Frightened
by
Tomorrow's forge

And we whispered
To our scarred, tortured selves:

It's the end of times
It's the end of days
Now the hour has struck
The hangman shall have his pay

And we cut
deeper and deeper
Into our skin

And we set our hair aflame
And
Groaned
And
Cried
As we fucked
Under the lecherous sky

And we sighed,
For
It was the end of time
It was the end of days

Our hearts were beating
As we stumbled
Lustful and famished
But it was nothing at all
Like what we had imagined

Was it the end of times?
Was it the end of days?
It was the dusk of terror
And the dawn of
Utter savagery

El cid
Ravaged
Our daughters
And malinche howled
And screamed
With a knife dug
Deep
Between her
Breasts

And the plains
Reeked
Of Ash
And burning hair

It was the end of times
It was the end of days

But
the stars still shone
High above
Our mortal pyre
And we were all alone
As Troy was lit afire

But no horseman
Rode upon those
Barren fields.
Strife, plague and famine
Bore
No fucking steed,
Only
A bloody helm
And
Naked steel

And
Down in the ruined world
We heard nothing but
Abaddon's sweet
But
wretched
Tune
Fall
Suddenly
Like
A forlorn
whisper

And we
Knew
It was the end
of days..."
This is powerful evocative and so true.
 
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ColorlessTrees

ColorlessTrees

Stuck
Jan 4, 2022
146
I wrote this back in January in a burst. I’m aware of my status as an amateur; my only hope is that it doesn’t come off as purple or pretentious. I’ve edited it to hell and back now, but I do find it a bit aimless.

The sun sinks into the sea, and the orange is a shade nigh crimson. It's familiar and brutal; its process is beyond my control. It's a world where the stars are bled dry, coughing as they clutch for their sparkle. Where the moon is cloaked in tar, its cresent a black smile. When I fear the sky, I lower my head and find ground too vast for my feet, a thousand roads ahead and behind, but I am too paralyzed to step forward.

A mountain of thorny brush blocks every trail. Their tendrils revive my failures and stripe my cheeks in crimson agony; yet while my arms flail to fend off shame, the dense ones aim for my throat and squeeze. But amidst the anguish are the ones that ghost my spine, that seduce me backwards, that caress me from afar with a prickly underbelly. I reach, but my hands turn up empty; my hands cannot keep what isn't tangible.

The distraction keeps me complacent, trapped between the push and pull of apathy and want, beneath the death of serenity, as the pink swirls anew. I am powerless with the knowledge that the cycle will reset.

The sun rises, but only halfway.

For me it reflects life with a debilitating hormonal condition/PMDD as well as my circumstances.
 
sadmeltie

sadmeltie

Member
Oct 16, 2022
5
i feel like its stupid, like it really falls off near the end (while writing i also felt like it was dragging on) and could be better. i feel like it could be better in general. but ill share it anyway..

Walking By
Alone in a dark corner the girl sat. Knees pulled to her chest. Her head in her hands, as tears created a river down her cheeks.
Her head feeling dizzy. Her body weak. She could feel her heart pound, fresh blood escaping her wounds.
To the left a bottle. The right a lighter. In front a blade, and above hung a rope.
Hearing sobbing from the streets, a boy couldnt help but investigate. Travelling up a dark staircase and down a dingy hall, he finally finds where the distressed crying is coming from.
Kneeling down beside her, a hand on her shoulder "why do you cry so much?" the boy coaxed.
Wiping tears away, as pointless as it was, the girl responds, "im hurting"
"why are you hurting?" not daring to get any closer out of fear of the objects around her.
"my mind wont be quiet and theres a hole in my heart" she said, more tears streaming down her cheeks. Wrapping his hand in his sleeve, gesturing towards her the boy asks, "may i?". The girl, finally lifting her head, looked at the boy and without a word allowed him to wipe away her tears. She thought to herself that it finally felt nice, not feeling so alone.
Looking down at her arm the boy remembered seeing another room on the way up. "Can we get you cleaned up?" Now also looking down at the mess, the girl sees the blood soaking her sleeve, not noticing previously due to the numb feeling inside. "Yeah, i guess," she mutters, not having the energy to care.
"I'll be right back" the boy chirped before going back out the door. While she knew the boy meant well, the girl couldnt help feeling her heart get heavy. Hearing those words so many times in the past, and yet still she was here alone. They don't come back...
But the boy did...this time...
Falling back down beside her the boy sets out the medical supplies he collected from down the hall. Reaching his hand out, the girl pulls hers closer. "It's ok. I'm not going to judge you, I just want to help you" Fearful, the girl slowly lets her hand go. Taking her hand, the boy gently runs his fingers down her hand. Slowly pulling her sleeve back to reveal the damage. Feeling exposed the girl begins to cry again. "hey," he hushed, "its ok". Moving his hand back to her shoulder to comfort her, while still holding her hand.
The girl retracted. Swiftly pulling her hand back, her wrist burning as her muscles moved. More tears welling in her eyes. With the boys hand still on her shoulder, he looks around, "is it ok if we move these so i can help you better?" Reluctantly the girl shook her head yes. "Im just putting them over by the wall." The girl watched as he slowly, cautiously moved the bottle, blade and lighter out of the way.
"May i have your hand again? You cant neglect it" he fussed with fear and worry in his eyes.
Slowly releasing her hand, the boy once again put it in his. Taking the wet wash cloth, he wiped away the already drying blood. Applying flower band-aids he happened to find, that he hoped would help brighten her day.
The girl just watched. Looking at him, at what he was doing, then back at him. Once the last band-aid was applied the girl spoke, "wh..why did you come up here"
"I heard you crying, and the door was open a little so I had to see what was wrong" his voice soft, and inviting.
"Oh" the girl said under her breath. While she had a lot on her mind, she didnt want to keep talking.
"Why are you up here alone?" the boy inquired.
Pulling her hand back, and her sleeve down she mumbled "so i can be alone," the words as sharp as the razor set aside.
"May i sit up here with you? So you dont have to be alone?" he gently pleaded. For a while the girl didnt say anything, just sat there contemplating all the possibilities. Looking around, at herself, her "belongings", him. She couldnt possibly let him hang around.
He noticed her hesitation, "i promise i dont care about any of that, i just care about you. I see you here and i worry about you. I cant just leave you here like this"
Thinking to herself, he'll leave like everyone else soon enough, she sighed "sure, why not"

It started with talking. Then he would bring cards, board games for them to do when he dropped by. Bringing treats like ice cream or cookies. Then slowly the items got thrown away, and slowly her wounds began to heal. The dark, dingy home slowly becoming brighter. The weeks turning into months, he slowly broke down her wall, stone by stone.
This was so detailed I felt I was living in it you have a REAL TALENT in writing wowwwww consider me your new fan sincere I say this like WOW you are amazing 👏 ❤ 🙌 ♥ 💜
 
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[_______]

[_______]

•In No Hurry•
Sep 26, 2022
11
I'm hesitant to post this but have decided to do it anyway. My anxiety is screaming right now.


Haunted-

Darkness. That's all she remembered at first. Little by little flashes came back to her, starting with the senses. First it was smell. Everything was fresh to her now and it was always the same putrid stench that filled her lungs. Next was the taste of salt that tickled her tongue. She could hear heavy breathing and sounds of movement. The tears that cooled her cheeks were what brought her back to reality. The soft caress of a cool breath against her wet cheek felt like ice. All she knew were his eyes, the dead look he held and the way they glistened as they watched her. All it took was a glimpse, but those eyes would haunt her dreams for life.
 
Kim Dokja

Kim Dokja

"Please, finish my story."
Nov 25, 2020
142
Short piece written for the giggles.

It was solemn nights spent alone when he realized he couldn't bear the type of person he had become. The reflection that stared back at him in the mirror could never love him back, and he wasn't sure if that reflection had the capacity to love in the first place.

There were mornings where he wished the sun had never risen, and afternoons where he wished he had never awakened from his slumber.

He's tired of being burdened with the weight of himself. He wants to fade into the backdrop of a crowd, and lie quietly in a hole dug into the ground, and to never be able to feel the warmth of the sun on his face ever again. He wants to become one with the statistics of a yearly report on deaths, and to never be perceived as an individual by anyone, including himself.

Yet, despite all that wishful yearning, he moves forward. Not because he was devoted to anything, nor because he held any hope for the future, but because he was simply too tired to do anything else but let his numbed feet get dragged against the hot asphalt of the sidewalk.

Sometimes, that's life.
 
[_______]

[_______]

•In No Hurry•
Sep 26, 2022
11
She walked, hands outstretched to feel for something- anything that would guide her way. She felt nothing but the cool touch of a chilled breeze caressing the space between her splayed fingers. No idea where she was, her surroundings shrouded in fog while shadows danced and lights swayed.
The world felt surreal.
Nothing seemed permanent. Like her dreams and fantasies had become reality instead. The echoed whispers of distant voices swelled and faded like waves. They crashed into her with force, letting her know she wasn't alone.
No, she was never alone.
The voices followed her as she wandered, whispering closer as she went. Soft voices called to her, harsher voices berated her, and the silent ones left her feeling despondent.
She searched in vein for silent solace, a quiet place to rest, anywhere that was blissfully still.
To her dismay she found nothing but a sea of cacophonous warbling and disorganized mumbles.
 
[_______]

[_______]

•In No Hurry•
Sep 26, 2022
11
Tingles like tiny legs crawling all over her skin. She scratched and swatted to no avail, finding neither satisfaction nor relief in her actions. Just unending torture as the sensation came and went.
 
vexxed

vexxed

Member
Nov 6, 2022
13
polished ivory grip, the hammer ticked.
savor the bliss when silence can persist.

brazen in the mirror, disgusted by the tears
razor marks seer, through the pale veneer

emaciated whims, lay forever within
ingratiated blends of sorrow and sin

rotted juniper eye, no jupiter in my sky
lauded ivy vines, comes as orcus arise.
 
[_______]

[_______]

•In No Hurry•
Sep 26, 2022
11
A jaunted bit of back and forth rolled around aimlessly inside her mind. The voices cajoled one another as they watched her plight, jeering here and sneering there. Witless and without hope she sought refuge behind her own thin hands, shielding her ears from their taunts. When silence finally fell it was swift and without warning. She thought silence would be her haven but the hushed quiet sends an insistent ringing whenever the voices vanish.
 
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vexxed

vexxed

Member
Nov 6, 2022
13
Dull blue:

the emptiness seems paradoxical-
as with a glance, I could see all that I could ever wish to see;
flick a thumb to feel all that I could wish to feel;
a gentle press to hear all that I could wish to hear.

yet still within, it still persists, this omnipresent ache
even with an effulgent suture, I know my infected fate
bridled, addled scouring for a chance to escape-
to days before, my desire for more was sate, by an algorithms rape.
 
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Exact Change

Exact Change

A life of mistakes
Nov 6, 2022
60
I wrote this as a spoken word but I never performed it or shared it with anyone before. My son was 17 when he took something he thought was acid. It turned out to be something else. He was in a state of violent hallucinations for hours. He spent the night in the hospital in restraints. I wrote this the following summer, after a family vacation. Thanks for reading.
------------------------------------------------------
It’s you It’s you
You’re an alcoholic - It’s you
You were out of your mind but you told me what you wanted to
The Dr. said they didn't know what the drug was and that probably neither did you.

Weeks later it still didn’t seem to phase you - I worried that you just didn’t care.
But I realized if you’re anything like me - you would only cry alone when no one else was there.

It’s been 6 months since then and I keep praying each and every day.
Sometimes we talk and I have no idea what to say.
But when I'm alone and I cry… I say - I love you.
But tell me son do you love me too?
Is there any love left for me
Because lately I've stopped being a father
And been trying to at least be a friend
Doing whatever I can to have you love me again
But I'm afraid it’s too late

Every day i look back and wish I wasn’t who I was and that I did some things I didn’t
But wishing and wanting is a waste of time, looking above hoping for some sign
I don’t know how to point you and you probably wouldn’t go anyway
Cuz lately it doesn't matter what i say

We worry - your mother and me
We’re afraid and unsure about what we see - in you.
We blame ourselves but mostly me, that
I should’ve been better

You see, I never read the book on how to be a father
At times I think I failed you
And other times I feel I’ve won
I just look and I know I couldn’t ask for a better son.
But I should have been better

A better father a better person a better man. Each time I should have stood I think I just ran.
I went through my entire life without a plan
I was hurting you without ever knowing because how can I guide you if I don't know where I'm going?
I did have one plan
You see... I was just waiting for my son to be a man. Then I could leave and just forget the rest
I could finally put that gun to my chest
Like a movie. Fade to black with a setting sun.
Then I could close my eyes and sleep and wouldn't have to run.
It would be one final action
A positive addition from my subtraction.
All I would write in the final letter is
I'm so sorry, I know, I should've been better.
 
[_______]

[_______]

•In No Hurry•
Sep 26, 2022
11
Counting days to counting breathes, nothing else seemed to matter. Holding, with one large gulp; exhaling with a single smooth sigh. Turned around and dropped to your hands, you're told to act like this is "normal". To walk and feel "normal" like they do. But there is no presence of normalcy in your mind or body- every inch of you screams to be seen but not a single sound makes it past your lips. Holding has always been your strong suit, so you hold until you fall broken to the floor, like an old doll collecting dust.
 
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katagiri83

katagiri83

Like tears in rain
Jan 4, 2022
83
I wrote this as a spoken word but I never performed it or shared it with anyone before. My son was 17 when he took something he thought was acid. It turned out to be something else. He was in a state of violent hallucinations for hours. He spent the night in the hospital in restraints. I wrote this the following summer, after a family vacation. Thanks for reading.
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It’s you It’s you
You’re an alcoholic - It’s you
You were out of your mind but you told me what you wanted to
The Dr. said they didn't know what the drug was and that probably neither did you.

Weeks later it still didn’t seem to phase you - I worried that you just didn’t care.
But I realized if you’re anything like me - you would only cry alone when no one else was there.

It’s been 6 months since then and I keep praying each and every day.
Sometimes we talk and I have no idea what to say.
But when I'm alone and I cry… I say - I love you.
But tell me son do you love me too?
Is there any love left for me
Because lately I've stopped being a father
And been trying to at least be a friend
Doing whatever I can to have you love me again
But I'm afraid it’s too late

Every day i look back and wish I wasn’t who I was and that I did some things I didn’t
But wishing and wanting is a waste of time, looking above hoping for some sign
I don’t know how to point you and you probably wouldn’t go anyway
Cuz lately it doesn't matter what i say

We worry - your mother and me
We’re afraid and unsure about what we see - in you.
We blame ourselves but mostly me, that
I should’ve been better

You see, I never read the book on how to be a father
At times I think I failed you
And other times I feel I’ve won
I just look and I know I couldn’t ask for a better son.
But I should have been better

A better father a better person a better man. Each time I should have stood I think I just ran.
I went through my entire life without a plan
I was hurting you without ever knowing because how can I guide you if I don't know where I'm going?
I did have one plan
You see... I was just waiting for my son to be a man. Then I could leave and just forget the rest
I could finally put that gun to my chest
Like a movie. Fade to black with a setting sun.
Then I could close my eyes and sleep and wouldn't have to run.
It would be one final action
A positive addition from my subtraction.
All I would write in the final letter is
I'm so sorry, I know, I should've been better.
@Exact Change , thank you for sharing. Moving & impactful prose between sorrow & love.
 
gentleflower

gentleflower

Member
Jun 6, 2019
97
I am only writing fanfiction.
Currently an MCU one with Loki as the main character if anyone is interested
 
Exact Change

Exact Change

A life of mistakes
Nov 6, 2022
60
It's 3 am and I'm staring at all the shades of black I see. Wondering if my bed is as nice as my coffin will be.

Someone asks how you are. Of course I say I'm fine. I pretend and try to smile but it gets harder each day because I’m wishing to leave but having to stay.

So I stay. And I say I'm fine
Because when it's all said and done
The pain to be felt should only be mine.

It's not that I'm tired of trying. I'm just too tired of failing. Too full of regret with too much to confess. And as time goes on I hurt more yet somehow I cry less.

There's a chart ranking the different ways to make it all end. I keep it on my phone. Right next to my fb and the account with no friends.

It's 4 a.m. and I read it. Again. Shotgun to the head ranks at the top of the list. It's agony score is only 5.5. Carbon monoxide 18.Drowning a surprising 79.You ask how I am. Again, I tell you I'm fine.

It's 5 am and fear sets in. Because the sun is coming and I can't stop it. I grab the covers and try to hold the darkness.

But as much as I fight it the light always wins. Like the light after I'm gone. When that next day begins

the sun will be brighter when the sinner dies with his sins.
 
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donewithyourview

donewithyourview

Member
May 9, 2022
25
Here's a poem I wrote when I was 14 about self-harm, lol.

“styx”

could you do it?
confront what you fear the most
as if it were a friend
face the dark waters of the abyss
turn invisible falsehoods
into something tangible and real
to rend the flesh of the beast
to let your hatred of what lies beneath
triumph over
fear of the dark
fear of the unknown
fear of the sword, the steel, the blade
but you cannot overcome your selfish desires,
cross the river of no return
until then, continue
to drown in your own guilt