- Jul 15, 2018
Please to God help me. I just need to die. I'm terrified though. I have now freaked out and failed to hang myself four times in the last month, two of those times I had the noose around my neck and one of them (last night) I even kicked the stool away but my feet hit the ground. By the time I fixed the rope so it was positioned higher up, I couldn't do it. I am absolutely 100% committed to dying. Last night I leant down on the stool to see what it would feel like and after a few seconds I started choking, spluttering and I became terrified. Today my friend agreed to strangle me (not to death) so I could try and get used to it but it was just horrible being so desperate for air. I lasted for a minute the third time he tried (the longest he did it - and none of the three times did I pass out, but I don't think he was doing it tight enough) but I couldn't take it, I was begging him to stop. Is there ANY way to make it easier? Please help me. Should I try partial suspension? Something involving the carotid artery? Or can anyone help me with a more painless method? I have no idea where to start with N/H (can't wait multiple weeks) and I fear it's unreliable. I'm terrified of heights.