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Sleepdrifter

Member
Jun 22, 2020
99
Is anyone else in the same situation? Like, absolutely nothing, completely zero. Some days feel very liberating but most of the time it feels crushing. You can't plan ahead and people never help. And nobody trusts you so building new relationships is close to impossible. My family meant everything to me and losing them was the worst thing that ever happened. I'd do anything for some kind of connection to the world again. Is this how life is going to be forever? Haha tried asking around but the response was "you chose this" or "you deserve this" etc. People like being bastards don't they.
 
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Sleepdrifter

Member
Jun 22, 2020
99
# Team Zero
I've never had a family and the few friends I've had left me for stupid reasons... Wish I could make new ones and have my own family (I don't mean children, just a partner and friends). 🙏
You've never had a family at all? That sucks.. not sure what is worse, having one and losing it or never having one. Friends come and go, but I can't find a way to adapt to having no family
 
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Xion

Xion

Please free me from hell.
Jul 5, 2020
385
You've never had a family at all? That sucks.. not sure what is worse, having one and losing it or never having one. Friends come and go, but I can't find a way to adapt to having no family
Unless you count abusive psychopaths, which I don't, no.

A real family is one of the heart, one that we choose, so they don't come and go if they're real.
 
S

Sleepdrifter

Member
Jun 22, 2020
99
My abusive ex made me push all of them away and now that we have broken up, Im fucked.

She made me push my friends away, Ive always hated my family.
That sounds terrible Kazeeemoo12.

Unless you count abusive psychopaths, which I don't, no.

A real family is one of the heart, one that we choose, so they don't come and go if they're real.
Yeah you don't need to count psychopaths. Pretty sure one of my relatives is one by the way they treated/beat up the pets we kept. They were thrown away or sent to rescues
 
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Symbiote

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,065
I have had issues forming connections with people so I always had no friends or family to count on or be close to like most normal people do. I still go out to restaurants, but not at peak times, I don't do movie theaters, and I feel anxious around a lot of people that it feels physically draining.
 
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

a corpse is talking
Nov 23, 2020
1,118
Have went pretty much my whole life with no family. No mother in the picture, no father, no extended relatives, and the family who fostered me as a teenager cut ties. A child has no control over how their relatives regards them, and a lot of the time adults don't either, so don't listen to those chucklefucks saying that you deserved it.

No one deserves to be frivously abandoned by their family or to lose them, especially im a world where great emphasis and importance is placed on the concept of unconditional familial love. Our culture views family as the "sole true and irreplaceable connection" that you can always count on.

OP, I relate wholeheartedly when you say that the lack of family is something that can't simply be coped away. Family is something that most people take for granted and it is hard for them to imagine the position that people like us are in, hence why they are castigating you with accusations of moral failure (doing something to deserve it) rather than acknowledging the unfair tragedy of your situation.

Friends come and go, but family is meant to be forever. I've heard lots of people say to find your chosen family through tight knit friendships and such, however this seems to be about as likely as becoming a jackpot winner on the slimiest lotto machine in a pyramid scheme casino.

I didn't have a single friend until I was around 12/13 because I was always the weird autistic girl who had strange interests, making me prime target for bullying and ostracisation. When my aunt was still alive, she locked me away inside for 2 years with barely any social interaction during my formative teenage years, which stunted and broke me even further. Making friends gets harder and harder as we grow up too, because a lot of people have solidified their friend circles and support structures early in life.

Having no family makes it worse, because I can't relate to other people's experiences and they feel uncomfortable or awkward when they find out about the hand that I've been dealt with life. When I have to hear people talking about holidays with their family or see touching or cute social media posts about their childhood friends or family, it just makes me want to cry.

It is such a fucked position to be in, because like you say, there is no one to rely on. The other day I had to spend 20 something pounds on a taxi because I do not have a single friend or other trusted person who could help me get home from the bus station that I was at. Not having any support is truly like having a 0 luck stat, especially when idiots who have no idea what it's like tell you to "just love yourself" and learn to embrace solitude. They couldn't have less of a bloody clue.

Sending you love and understanding, it really is a terrible spot to be in.
Have went pretty much my entire life with no family. No mother in the picture, no father, no extended relatives, and the family who fostered me as a teenager cut ties. A child has no control over how their relatives regards them, and a lot of the time adults don't either, so don't listen to those chucklefucks saying that you deserved it.

No one deserves to be frivously abandoned by their family or to lose them, especially im a world where great emphasis and importance is placed on the concept of unconditional familial love, and family being the "one true and irreplaceable connection" that you can always count on.

OP, I relate wholeheartedly when you say that the lack of family is something that can't simply be coped away. Family is something that most people take for granted and it is hard for them to imagine the position that people like us are in, hence why they are castigating you with accusations of moral failure (doing something to deserve it) rather than acknowledging the unfair tragedy of your situation.

Friends come and go, but family is meant to be forever. I've heard lots of people say to find your chosen family through tight knit friendships and such, however this seems to be about as likely as becoming a jackpot winner on the slimiest lotto machine in a pyramid scheme casino.

I didn't have a single friend until I was around 12/13 because I was always the weird autistic girl who had strange interests and was a prime target for bullying and ostracisation. When my aunt was still alive she locked me away inside for 2 years with barely any social interaction during my dkemativdMaking friends gets harder and harder as we grow up too, because a lot of people have solidified their friend circles and support structures early in life.

Having no family makes it worse, because I can't relate to other people's experiences and they feel uncomfortable or awkward when they find out about the hand that I've been dealt with life. When I have to hear people talking about holidays with their family or see touching or cute social media posts about their childhood friends or family, it just makes me want to cry.

It is such a fucked position to be in, because like you say, there is no one to rely on. The other day I had to spend 20 something pounds on a taxi because I do not have a single friend or other trusted person who could help me get home from the bus station that I was at. Not having any support is truly like having a 0 luck stat, especially when idiots who have no idea what it's like tell you to "just love yourself" and learn to embrace solitude.
 
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S

Sleepdrifter

Member
Jun 22, 2020
99
Have went pretty much my whole life with no family. No mother in the picture, no father, no extended relatives, and the family who fostered me as a teenager cut ties. A child has no control over how their relatives regards them, and a lot of the time adults don't either, so don't listen to those chucklefucks saying that you deserved it.
Yeah it really hurts when you find out people don't understand. When you try to explain how difficult it is, they immediately throw out the same old tired advice you've heard a million times without knowing what they are talking about. Being told I "deserved" to have no family was one of the worst thing I'd ever heard from another person, and they weren't even trolling - they genuinely did not get that it wasn't a conscious choice.

The main problem is that nobody trusts you if you're alone. Any group or job, any social setting, it's an unspoken requirement that someone vouches for you in order to prove you can be trusted. So it means finding your own way. But you can't get a good job without connections, so you can't afford stable housing or your own transporation. So you're screwed. I got stuck in some places I didn't want to be for years and without help it meant waiting for sheer luck to pull through.

Technically I still have relatives but they have turned their backs and not explained why. I've tried reconciliation myself even though they've never said what went wrong. My instincts say me and my siblings were liabilities after we came of age and the child benefit stopped. That would explain the homelessness. Everyone would need to do an incredible amount of work to make up after some of the things they did and leaving me in mystery. I mean they cashed me in and covered it up so how do you repair that. And there's no help out there for this either.

As time goes by it really hits because this is something I desperately want to have control over. That can really degrade my mental state. You can be big and tough and tell yourself this is your fault and you have the power to solve it. But neither of those things are true or helpful to believe. And yet I definitely do not want to live forever with literally zero friends or family being completely fucked like this. Occasionally I have made the choice to not associate with certain people but only because they made me feel uncertain or unsafe. The only thing I can do is make huge random moves to different towns and try all kinds of different things. And without knowing someone it all comes down to luck again. I'm not going back to some fucked up family which knows what it did and will only try to do it again. But I can't beat myself up forever about it.
 
O

outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
182
I am a member of #TeamNoSupportSystem, #TeamIsolataion, and #TeamTouchStarved.

I have no friends and have not had any real friends for a very long time.

My mum has moments where I think she cares.

The rest of my family will only contact me if there is a death or if someone is hospitalized. Other than that, all other problems are to be solved solo.

So I have no real support system, and if my calculations are correct, if I was to cash-out, those same people would be standing around asking why they did not ask for help or reach out.

The black dog is ever present, and death is licking its chops.
 
Lebensunwertes

Lebensunwertes

Du bist auf dich allein gestellt
May 26, 2022
126
My family pretty much fell apart as most grandparents and uncles died already, the other half doesn't really speak to each other. I used to have a tight group of friends, but everybody went their own way and I got left behind. I have a handful of old online friends, but we only chit chat from time to time in group chats. Other than that I'm bouncing from community to community, never really getting anywhere. The only text messages I get are from phone services and scammers usually.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,313
The only 'Family' l've ever been part of was the Army! 11yrs of belonging somewhere I wanted to be.
 
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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,141
Is anyone else in the same situation? Like, absolutely nothing, completely zero. Some days feel very liberating but most of the time it feels crushing. You can't plan ahead and people never help. And nobody trusts you so building new relationships is close to impossible. My family meant everything to me and losing them was the worst thing that ever happened. I'd do anything for some kind of connection to the world again. Is this how life is going to be forever? Haha tried asking around but the response was "you chose this" or "you deserve this" etc. People like being bastards don't they.
Unfortunately I know how you feel. I have a hard time dealing with loneliness. I don't feel connected to anyone. It's just sad.
 
onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,141
I have had issues forming connections with people so I always had no friends or family to count on or be close to like most normal people do. I still go out to restaurants, but not at peak times, I don't do movie theaters, and I feel anxious around a lot of people that it feels physically draining.
I also have social anxiety. It's terrible :/
Have went pretty much my whole life with no family. No mother in the picture, no father, no extended relatives, and the family who fostered me as a teenager cut ties. A child has no control over how their relatives regards them, and a lot of the time adults don't either, so don't listen to those chucklefucks saying that you deserved it.

No one deserves to be frivously abandoned by their family or to lose them, especially im a world where great emphasis and importance is placed on the concept of unconditional familial love. Our culture views family as the "sole true and irreplaceable connection" that you can always count on.

OP, I relate wholeheartedly when you say that the lack of family is something that can't simply be coped away. Family is something that most people take for granted and it is hard for them to imagine the position that people like us are in, hence why they are castigating you with accusations of moral failure (doing something to deserve it) rather than acknowledging the unfair tragedy of your situation.

Friends come and go, but family is meant to be forever. I've heard lots of people say to find your chosen family through tight knit friendships and such, however this seems to be about as likely as becoming a jackpot winner on the slimiest lotto machine in a pyramid scheme casino.

I didn't have a single friend until I was around 12/13 because I was always the weird autistic girl who had strange interests, making me prime target for bullying and ostracisation. When my aunt was still alive, she locked me away inside for 2 years with barely any social interaction during my formative teenage years, which stunted and broke me even further. Making friends gets harder and harder as we grow up too, because a lot of people have solidified their friend circles and support structures early in life.

Having no family makes it worse, because I can't relate to other people's experiences and they feel uncomfortable or awkward when they find out about the hand that I've been dealt with life. When I have to hear people talking about holidays with their family or see touching or cute social media posts about their childhood friends or family, it just makes me want to cry.

It is such a fucked position to be in, because like you say, there is no one to rely on. The other day I had to spend 20 something pounds on a taxi because I do not have a single friend or other trusted person who could help me get home from the bus station that I was at. Not having any support is truly like having a 0 luck stat, especially when idiots who have no idea what it's like tell you to "just love yourself" and learn to embrace solitude. They couldn't have less of a bloody clue.

Sending you love and understanding, it really is a terrible spot to be in.
Have went pretty much my entire life with no family. No mother in the picture, no father, no extended relatives, and the family who fostered me as a teenager cut ties. A child has no control over how their relatives regards them, and a lot of the time adults don't either, so don't listen to those chucklefucks saying that you deserved it.

No one deserves to be frivously abandoned by their family or to lose them, especially im a world where great emphasis and importance is placed on the concept of unconditional familial love, and family being the "one true and irreplaceable connection" that you can always count on.

OP, I relate wholeheartedly when you say that the lack of family is something that can't simply be coped away. Family is something that most people take for granted and it is hard for them to imagine the position that people like us are in, hence why they are castigating you with accusations of moral failure (doing something to deserve it) rather than acknowledging the unfair tragedy of your situation.

Friends come and go, but family is meant to be forever. I've heard lots of people say to find your chosen family through tight knit friendships and such, however this seems to be about as likely as becoming a jackpot winner on the slimiest lotto machine in a pyramid scheme casino.

I didn't have a single friend until I was around 12/13 because I was always the weird autistic girl who had strange interests and was a prime target for bullying and ostracisation. When my aunt was still alive she locked me away inside for 2 years with barely any social interaction during my dkemativdMaking friends gets harder and harder as we grow up too, because a lot of people have solidified their friend circles and support structures early in life.

Having no family makes it worse, because I can't relate to other people's experiences and they feel uncomfortable or awkward when they find out about the hand that I've been dealt with life. When I have to hear people talking about holidays with their family or see touching or cute social media posts about their childhood friends or family, it just makes me want to cry.

It is such a fucked position to be in, because like you say, there is no one to rely on. The other day I had to spend 20 something pounds on a taxi because I do not have a single friend or other trusted person who could help me get home from the bus station that I was at. Not having any support is truly like having a 0 luck stat, especially when idiots who have no idea what it's like tell you to "just love yourself" and learn to embrace solitude.
I can relate to several things you said and I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Not having family support brings a lot of loneliness. It's hard. I deleted all my social media accounts precisely because of what you said, it didn't do me good to always see people doing this and that, happy, and me in the shit. And now I realize how toxic social media is. I never went back. It's also true that only those who go through things can truly understand what it's like. Anyway, if you ever want to talk or vent send me a message :)
 
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A

Adrenalineaddict

Member
Jun 27, 2022
7
Late reply but me too, literally no friends or family. I couldn't keep up with all the pressure they put on me and I broke down and left.
 
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Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
252
I don't like to relate to others at all and as soon as I have the opportunity to move away I try to do it forever.

Currently I only relate to my mother, with my father I do not talk or see him since 2016 (despite being diagnosed with Alzheimer's ... but without the certainty of knowing, it is seen that you can not know so easily).
With my sister the farther the better and I have never wanted to see her son (who will be 6 years old this September).
From my mother's family her brother (my uncle) has recently passed away and from my father's family most of his siblings have died since 2019 (4 in total, I knew them all).
Relatives I don't know directly have had another 4 die since 2019, all of them distant uncles.

I have 9 dead and I think there are 2 more that have died in the last 3 years. whatever, I have not been to any funerals, I pass on everything and everyone....

And I had a friend who loved me very much, but it's been 9 days since we last spoke because of me and I have no intention of restarting the relationship, it causes me a lot of discomfort to relate to other people, I feel a lot of pressure and I have no choice but to throw everything overboard to move forward or I explode directly.

I suppose that in a few years my nephew will reproach me for not wanting to know anything about him as some of you do with your relatives... I just want to say that I can neither adapt nor cope with the constant social relationships that flow around me.

I just want to get away from it all and be alone.

A mi es que no m'agrada gens relacionar-me amb els altres i en quan tinc l'oportunitat d'allunyar-me ho intento fer per sempre.

Actualment només em relaciono amb la meva mare, amb el meu pare no hi parlo ni el veig desde el 2016 (tot i estar diagnosticat d'alzheimer... però sense la certesa de saber-ho, es veu que no es pot saber tan fàcilment).
Amb la meva germana quan més lluny millor i no he volgut veure mai els seu fill (que farà aquest setembre 6 anys).
De la família de ma mare ha mort fa poc el seu germà (el meu oncle) i de la de mon pare han mort desde el 2019 la majoría dels seus germans (4 en total, els conéixia a tots).
Familiars que no conec directament han mort 4 més des del 2019, tots ells oncles llunyans.

Porto 9 morts i em sona que n'hi han dos més que han mort en els últims 3 anys.. és ben igual, no hi he anat pas a cap enterrament, passo de tot i de tothom...

I tenía una amiga que m'estimava molt, però ja fa 9 dies que no ens parlem per culpa meva i no tinc pas intenció de reengegar la relació, em causa molt malestar el fet de relacionar-me amb d'altres persones, noto molta pressió i no tinc més remei que llençar-ho tot per la borda per seguir endavant o peto directament.

Suposo que d'aquí uns anys el meu nebot em retraurà que no he volgut saber res d'ell com ara feu alguns de vosaltres amb els vostres familiars... només vull dir que no puc ni adaptar-me ni fer-hi front a les constants relacions socials que flueixen al meu voltant.

Només vull fugir de tot i estar sol.
 
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TheLastFemaphrodyke

TheLastFemaphrodyke

Student
May 25, 2022
126
Is anyone else in the same situation? Like, absolutely nothing, completely zero. Some days feel very liberating but most of the time it feels crushing. You can't plan ahead and people never help. And nobody trusts you so building new relationships is close to impossible. My family meant everything to me and losing them was the worst thing that ever happened. I'd do anything for some kind of connection to the world again. Is this how life is going to be forever? Haha tried asking around but the response was "you chose this" or "you deserve this" etc. People like being bastards don't they.
I am okay alone. It took time to get here.
I had to realize that it was me who walked away, and needed to, for my own sanity and self preservation.

Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from a toxic situation.
That does not mean that my family or friends were/are toxic, it means that in chemistry, somethings can go together and some things cannot.
Somethings do not mix well but are not toxic, oil and water do not mix well, the oil sits on top of the water, if you shake it, it mixes temporarily, but will soon separate again to the natural state of the oil sitting on top of the water. You CAN however, take water and oil and make and emulsification, think mayo here that thoroughly mixes the water and oil together in a suspended state and can be quite delightful.
Somethings cannot be mixed at all. If you try to mix bleach with ammonia, you will create a toxic gas that will quickly overcome you and can kill. Now both of these chemicals are rather caustic on their own, just because I used these chemicals to explain, does not imply you, your friends or family are caustic, it simply means that there are things about them and things about you, that do not mix well and creates an air of discomfort between you.

I tried for years to make mayo with my family, gee that sounds kinda nasty when I reread it, but you get what I mean....the problem I had to realize is that we are not water and oil trying to mix, due to things that happened, that made me the who I am, I am the ammonia to their bleach.
They perceive others, who I identify with, as those that need to be cleaned and purified by their bleach. They do not even realize they are bleach and that I am ammonia, they only cannot understand why my water and their oil will not emulsify, so they throw more oil on it, so they think, but they are really throwing more bleach and I am not water, I am ammonia and the entire thing just becomes a toxic mess with everyone choking and gasping for breath. So, I stay away.

I found the same thing with friends. I keep to myself.
 
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