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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
689
Herpes makes me feel like I'm a diseased, untouchable, unclean piece of meat.

Noone wants to come near me. It's all fun and games to flirt with me and tell me all the naughty things you want to do to me, but actually doing it? Oh no, that's too scary for you. You wouldn't want to risk coming near me.

It's not even the virus itself that bothers me. I have so few issues with it. It's the fact that people are terrified to even get intimate with me. There are so many times I've just wanted to fuck people over and not tell them I have it, but that's how I got it. That would make me no better than my 'gifter'.

My self worth shatters on a regular basis. I have no idea why I put myself through the hassle of dating and meeting people when I know it's going to end in nothing good.

This contributes to my need to CTB. I don't believe that I have any value because I give people so much anxiety by just... Existing. I'm disgusting by default and I wish that I wasn't such a threat to everyone. Dead people pose no threat, right?
 
lostinthedream

lostinthedream

-
Sep 2, 2018
754
When I think about this.. I consider the fact that we ALL are hosts to trillions of bacteria and parasites and such, even the most "beautiful" still are. It is part of the journey.. and if someone doesn't physically touch you.. it's their loss..
 
lostinthedream

lostinthedream

-
Sep 2, 2018
754
So few people think the way you do. The lack of education and terrifying images on Google mean that fear drives everything away.

This site and many here are beyond fear. When you're considering dancing with the reaper, viri tend to take on little meaning..
 
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eczema

eczema

Member
Oct 6, 2018
59
i have severe eczema and it's part of why i want to ctb. my skin feels too tight and it's always oozing, bleeding, peeling off. i'm disgusting. nothing makes it go away, sometimes it's a little better but it always comes back. people think it's ok to tell me "wow your face looks better than usual" or "ooh your skin looks awful" and i just want to hit them. like yeah, i know how i look, thank you. i itch constantly and everyone avoids me when i scratch at the spots, they think i'm contagious.