Zoya

Zoya

Emotional pain is stronger than physical pain.
May 30, 2020
49
I guess i don't really bealive in love anymore ,even tho i get butterflies in my stomach for people i like ,it don't matter no more ,not like people gonna ever like me in any way :/ i usetoo have a boyfriend when i was in 12th grade ,he was my first and it ended up being horrible.. he was extremely mean towards me even tho he's special needs too ,he made up weird rules saying that if i spoke to a guy for more than 10 minutes then it's considered cheating he would cuss me and so on - he made me feel not a part of anything during the holidays since it's for Jewish and i guess im not . He kept calling me his Christian girlfriend when really i actually HAD NO religion and that's what i was thought that if i ever wanna convert to whatever then im more than welcome. Him and my daddy never got along well at all. I was left there in the middle while my ex is on the phone to me and my daddy shouting at him while i have the phone and my ex was like "what did he say what did he say ??" And school was no better either so my mental health went even more down.. from a quite person to really depressed and suicidal, that year was the worst.. that's when i was drawn in to killing myself ,i would try to choke myself with a bicycle helmet to putting bags on my head.. alot of times, i was also trying to cut myself with a plastic knife or a ruler ,first time was caught by my mammy an she said you stupid girl while i was left crying.. the next year i guess wasn't too bad.. my ex was gone and i had a really good friend from my class (we were only 5 ,and i was the only girl ) but eventually they took him away from me ,telling him and i quote "they said that if you keep being like that (i.e. depressed and whatever ) than i can't be around you" like are you for real ??? And not just that there's more but im not gonna write everything . Moving on the year after ,first year of my national service - the year where i really started to self harm real bad but not bad that i gotta go hospital ,mammy ended up finding out.. it was all over my thighs.. she was in shock. Later that day she asked me if i was doing it for attention.. it wasn't for attention at all :( but i think she eventually came around to understanding a bit more and such. The year after was my second year - that year i tried to ctb with pills and i do have to say that it was from that suicide faq that i got from ashes and so on. Failed anyway , panicked. I don't know why. It feels to me that everytime i like someone and they like me but not in that way i feel like i just break down eventually knowing that the person is going to leave. So yes ,I've lost hope in humanity too. I can't see why i should stay if all im going to do is waste people's valuable time :( and sorry for my long reply it oks if you don't want to read it too
in fact I read it all!
You know time cures everything, maybe you'll change your mind. It just takes time.
You'll be fine. I'm sending you good vibes.:heart:
 
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Zoya

Zoya

Emotional pain is stronger than physical pain.
May 30, 2020
49
How should I know? Maybe the universe just hates me.
Noo!
Maybe you should wait for the right thing, it will come when you least expect it, you just have to know how to harvest.
The universe doesn't hate you. You don't believe that perspective. That same energy you send to the universe is what makes you think that way.
What if you think the universe loves you and you deserve to be here
Yes, but I don't think I'm made for that.
Why?
I have a few people I know who seem to be in a genuine loving relationship but I've never really experienced it myself. I don't think I have any positive traits to be worth loving.
I think so!
but no one has ever seen him
 
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Eurus

Eurus

Everything Must Cease.
Sep 30, 2019
200
I do,I believe there too be different types of love,I felt love towards many people,family,animals,friends,even strangers,I think finding true love is something I may not experience as my social skills for interaction in the first place are minimal.
 
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Acerakis

Acerakis

Student
Jun 5, 2020
135
Noo!
Maybe you should wait for the right thing, it will come when you least expect it, you just have to know how to harvest.
The universe doesn't hate you. You don't believe that perspective. That same energy you send to the universe is what makes you think that way.
What if you think the universe loves you and you deserve to be here

Why?

I think so!
but no one has ever seen him

For the vast majority of people who are lonely, waiting is not going to help. If you are alone when you don't want to be then it probably means you are doing something wrong and need to fix something. But when you don't have the first clue what is wrong or how to fix your problems then waiting is just going to send you down a darker hole wondering what is wrong with you.
 
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,865
Maybe you should wait for the right thing, it will come when you least expect it, you just have to know how to harvest.

I've been hearing those words my whole damn life.
I've been waiting over 30 years. I'm almost 50 now. How likely do you think it is that I'll find love, now that I'm past my prime and my body is starting to fail me? "When I least expect it". When is that, exactly? For the past 10 years I've lived isolated like a hermit, absolutely not expecting love to find me. Guess what? It didn't. I don't find it when I date, I don't find it when I isolate... So WTF does that even mean, "it will come when I least expect it"?
Sorry if I sound angry, but those words piss me off, man. Everyone says it like it's some kind of empirical truth, and it's not.
It's condescending hallmark card bullshit.
 
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Zoya

Zoya

Emotional pain is stronger than physical pain.
May 30, 2020
49
For the vast majority of people who are lonely, waiting is not going to help. If you are alone when you don't want to be then it probably means you are doing something wrong and need to fix something. But when you don't have the first clue what is wrong or how to fix your problems then waiting is just going to send you down a darker hole wondering what is wrong with you.
Oh, that's hard!
I don't know what to say
 
WinterFaust

WinterFaust

Shimmer
Apr 13, 2020
412
I believe in love, I've experienced it. I just don't know if I'll ever be well enough to experience it again. And that's if I can manage to stick it out in recovery. Things look pretty bleak either way
 
Simba

Simba

Missunderstood Potato
Dec 9, 2018
293
in fact I read it all!
You know time cures everything, maybe you'll change your mind. It just takes time.
You'll be fine. I'm sending you good vibes.:heart:
My mammy usetoo tell me how I'll have friends and it just takes some time but it'll happen eventually.. im 23 ,i should be out and about ! I should be with my friend that unblocked me but it seems that God has other plans for me. Not that im much of a believer but i guess he just wants me to continueaslly suffer and im done with that . I'm not staying here just so i could waste people's valuable times ! You live once no ? Well if my Life is gonna continue being a mess full of sad and suffering then i might just as well be dead already.
 
Zoya

Zoya

Emotional pain is stronger than physical pain.
May 30, 2020
49
[QUOTE = "Final Escape, publicación: 743307, miembro: 1124"]
Algo así, pero no estoy seguro.
[/ CITAR]
why?
 
coldeyes

coldeyes

the rumbling is comfy
Jan 9, 2019
75
Sure. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You'll find it........., believe you me. And you'll find it in places you never expected. Well, nobody can teach you about love. It gets ugly too. Anyway, it's real.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
15,566
I think Rick said it best...


I’ve only ever felt romantic love for 2 (technically 3) people and they had every right to not love me back. I’ve come to accept that no reasonable woman who actually knows everything about me (the necessary basis for a healthy relationship) would ever be able to feel true love for me so why should I bother? Every once in a while my animal instinct does compel me to seek a mate but thankfully I can never get anywhere. I think it’s better for all females if I stay away from them and them from me.

Once I realized this, I stopped feeling any platonic love for anybody else. I only love material things now and the entertainment that keeps me happy.
 
VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
i mean... to some extent, i do believe in love. people care for one another, and would go to great lengths to ensure the wellbeing of that person.

i don't completely believe in it, though, because there's always a reason why people stick around. there's always a benefit they get, whether it be money or validation.
 
JustAGwenSomewhere

JustAGwenSomewhere

Semi-Professional Disappointment
Jan 16, 2020
115
Love, in the sense that people care about another person, exists.
Love, in relationships, I'm very doubtful about. Might come down to personal experiences, but I'm never surprised how quickly an 'unbreakable bond' gets thrown down the toilet.
 
L

LetsGosam

Member
Aug 28, 2020
23
Love is real but we don't all get that great movie romance.
 
  • Love
Reactions: pu3nt3s
hotelbeneathground

hotelbeneathground

so gay.
Apr 13, 2021
5,121
Yes, and I don't care that I'm delusional. Something has to finish me off.

Broken Heart Love GIF
 
Elusive Phantom

Elusive Phantom

There's glass in my oatmeal
Oct 29, 2021
146
Yes, whenever my nanna was around it felt like the entire room was brightened. She had a powerful presence that made my heart feel warm and shielded. Somebody once told me when they had a NDE that they felt they were washed over with love and a voice told them "that's what everything is made of." I do not fear death; once I go, I will be with my familia in the "abstract nothingness" or heaven if it's really true (me being a doubting Thomas lol).
 

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