Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
When I ctb, I want to be at my absolute limit where my suffering no longer ebbs and flows. I don’t want to feel a bit of regret as I jump to my death someday.
 
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saffron

saffron

Student
Jul 18, 2018
128
I don't mind too much just as long as I'm gone in a yearish.
When do you think you'll go?
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I don't mind too much just as long as I'm gone in a yearish.
When do you think you'll go?

It keeps changing. I imagine when I get another job that the suicidal feelings will become overbearing.
 
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Luke

Luke

tired
Apr 11, 2018
293
I hadn’t thought of using suicide as a motivator at work. I may not need to jump from a high place then when I can buy something like nitrogen

It totally works as a motivator. The only reason I work. Well I'm procrastinating for weeks but yea I gotta start working to buy N lol.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
I'd like to think so, but who the hell knows. Almost feels like too much to hope for, frankly. It really feels like I'm just trapped. There's simply no way out of here for someone like me. I'm so weak & afraid. But I'm also so tired. So very, very tired. It's too much to think about, but there's no escape from it. It's all around me. I breathe it in every moment as if it were the air itself. Paralyzed by my own poison. Like falling face first in a bear trap.

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Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
797
Work was a good motivator for a while but once the anxiety and depression kicks in I cant work. So for me, my past, what ive been through as a kid and the fact I cant work or earn money are my best motivators.
 
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Z

zach

Member
Jul 22, 2018
79
I mean I don't think I could hate life anymore than I do right now. im contemplating options.
 
RoloTomasi

RoloTomasi

Specialist
Jul 21, 2018
320
Very likely, I can't bring myself to do it yet. Because somewhere inside us, there is probably still a little hope. Hopes of a less miserable life, if not a happy one. That final nail in the coffin might actually make us finally do it. I'm not yet at that point nor am I really sure if I'm even close.
 
Samuel

Samuel

Wise
Apr 25, 2018
243
Yea I'm sure ill go through more suffering, with aging. I noticed I am starting to lose my hair on top of everything else. I can't picture myself a bald guy so. Definitely more suffering is to come and with that the will to ctb strengthens.
 
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