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sadlystillgoing3

sadlystillgoing3

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
54
I'm behind in school (changed my major so many times I lost count and left bc of health) and can't decide what tf I want to do. I don't actually want to do any job, but I kinda have to as long as I'm on this earth. I used to want to be a recreational therapist, which involved creating and leading therapeutic activities for individuals with disabilities. The fieldwork was fulfilling, but exhausting. I don't have the mental or physical stamina to do that as a career. Plus, guess what the average pay is? It's in the 40,000's, if that. Which I can't actually live on. I don't understand why there are jobs that literally do not pay you enough to fucking exist. And yes, you need a bachelor's degree for this job that often pays minimum wage.
If I could study anything and not worry about a job, it'd be anthropology or psychology. I am fascinated with the history of universe and ancient humans. So cool to me. & psychology is so interesting and I have a lot of experience with it, if you know what I mean, lol.
Anyways, so now I'm 95% decided on speech pathology. You need a master's degree and have to go through a year of clinical fellowship. The salary is alright (in the 70,000's). Lots of variety and settings. Fulfilling. It's a nice alternative to teaching bc you deal with less people at one time, it pays more, and offers more flexibility. You have to pay an annual fee of $275 to maintain credentials and also pay for CEU's, but it's not a big deal due to the salary and other aspects of the job. Grad school is insanely competitive though and lots of people end up never being able to get in. That'll probably happen to me thanks to my crippling mental illness and malnourished brain.:notsure: But I guess it's worth a shot. I would love to be able to help people speak and swallow properly because I can't imagine the pain that comes from not being able to express yourself with your voice (of course you can use sign language, but just speaking for the people who want to use their voice and can't).

Do any of you all work a job that you actually enjoy/feel passionate about at all? Did you go to college? Are you in college? Feel free to write as much as you want or vent about it. I know that being suicidal usually doesn't sit well with passions/careers/school, but I've seen a lot of forums over the years about people who find motivation to live BECAUSE of their career goals/job. I hope that happens to me..
 
Weary Soul

Weary Soul

Soon I will be free
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
1,166
I used to have a job that I loved (I was anxious about it, but I was pretty much anxious about everything so I cannot blame the job).

I kind of fell into it by accident: After I graduated college/university I took a temp job at a company and it just so happens that I was then hired. Initially, I worked 60 to 70 hour weeks at an annual salary of 30k, which, when you broke it down was less than minimum wage. But I don't regret it, eventually I was able to become self-employed and ended up making a 6 -figure salary.

However, I was assaulted more than once and had other accidental injuries that resulted in TBIs. Now I have permanent brain injuries (nice way of saying that I am brain damaged) and can no longer do this job. In fact, I can no longer really work because I cannot offer an employer any kind of guarantee that I will be a good employee (short term memory loss, severe headaches that strike out of nowhere and lay me out for days, etc.).

Had I lived alone, I would probably be retired now; however, I financially supported everyone in my family - everyone. And once I was no longer able to work and needed help the most, they deserted me in search of someone else who would support them (damn soul suckers).

My passion now is art, creating jewelry, stained glass/glass work, repurposing old unwanted items like furniture to give them new life, raising and training big dogs, etc. But this will not enable me to put a roof over my head and I need a lot of help because of my head injuries I am not allowed to lift much weight. have pretty bad balance problems, among a host of other problems.

Sighs, I did love that job though.

Wishing that you find the perfect job for you, it is an awesome feeling to do what you love IME :)

<3
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,341
I used to be a nice teacher (according to my workmates and students) and had a decent salary.
Then, depression popped up and ruined my life.
I quit my job, I left my girlfriend and I isolated myself from the world.

Anyway, I really need some cash to CTB in a few months so I've started working as a teacher again. It's really hard because I have to "fake" I'm happy but it's just for some hours so, not such a big deal.
 
Sorrygoodbye

Sorrygoodbye

Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2020
Messages
40
Never really had a job I liked. I have two degrees, and I've pretty much always been underemployed. I'm educated, but stupid, as my ex-boss used to say. Thinking about how badly people view me and my job history makes me want to ctb the most.
 
awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
435
I was a medical device sales representative making substantial sums of money. It was very stressful and intense but it was thrilling. The pressure and stress caused alcoholism to run rampant and things went south. Then after I went to rehab and got sober, the wife left me and took the house, cash, and half of retirement. My psychotic breakdown occurred 2 years later. Now it's all over and medical device companies don't want to hire me I don't blame them.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
14,794
I just graduated with a bachelors degree in Business but I only picked that because I still don’t know what I really want to do. I like my current part time job where I work at the front desk for one of the departments at my school because I’m not really responsible for too much and during my shifts I barely do anything because nobody’s at the school for obvious reasons. I just spend the whole time goofing off on my laptop or even sites like this one. It’s great. I wish jobs like that were more common and paid a decent salary.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Defective since birth
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
4,354
theres a lot of different job options and with the internet and other helpful tools depending on what you choose you dont even need a degree for it.

me personally, im planning on opening a bakery. i could just open it but i dont want to. i want to get my GED and go to college for it first. dont need to but that paper on the wall would be awfully nice. plus a big f you to my parents who fucked everything up they could plus some.
 
sadlystillgoing3

sadlystillgoing3

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
54
Weary Soul said:
I used to have a job that I loved (I was anxious about it, but I was pretty much anxious about everything so I cannot blame the job).

I kind of fell into it by accident: After I graduated college/university I took a temp job at a company and it just so happens that I was then hired. Initially, I worked 60 to 70 hour weeks at an annual salary of 30k, which, when you broke it down was less than minimum wage. But I don't regret it, eventually I was able to become self-employed and ended up making a 6 -figure salary.

However, I was assaulted more than once and had other accidental injuries that resulted in TBIs. Now I have permanent brain injuries (nice way of saying that I am brain damaged) and can no longer do this job. In fact, I can no longer really work because I cannot offer an employer any kind of guarantee that I will be a good employee (short term memory loss, severe headaches that strike out of nowhere and lay me out for days, etc.).

Had I lived alone, I would probably be retired now; however, I financially supported everyone in my family - everyone. And once I was no longer able to work and needed help the most, they deserted me in search of someone else who would support them (damn soul suckers).

My passion now is art, creating jewelry, stained glass/glass work, repurposing old unwanted items like furniture to give them new life, raising and training big dogs, etc. But this will not enable me to put a roof over my head and I need a lot of help because of my head injuries I am not allowed to lift much weight. have pretty bad balance problems, among a host of other problems.

Sighs, I did love that job though.

Wishing that you find the perfect job for you, it is an awesome feeling to do what you love IME :)

<3
Oh wow. Honestly that was inspiring to read. It's amazing that you were able to become self-employed and earn that much. I'm so sorry about your assaults and injuries. Your art is a much needed light in this dark world. <3
Life_and_Death said:
theres a lot of different job options and with the internet and other helpful tools depending on what you choose you dont even need a degree for it.

me personally, im planning on opening a bakery. i could just open it but i dont want to. i want to get my GED and go to college for it first. dont need to but that paper on the wall would be awfully nice. plus a big f you to my parents who fucked everything up they could plus some.
Opening a bakery sounds wonderful. Good luck :)
Dr Iron Arc said:
I just graduated with a bachelors degree in Business but I only picked that because I still don’t know what I really want to do. I like my current part time job where I work at the front desk for one of the departments at my school because I’m not really responsible for too much and during my shifts I barely do anything because nobody’s at the school for obvious reasons. I just spend the whole time goofing off on my laptop or even sites like this one. It’s great. I wish jobs like that were more common and paid a decent salary.
What are the job responsibilities? Did they hire you with no experience and just a degree? Sounds up my ally
awfullife said:
I was a medical device sales representative making substantial sums of money. It was very stressful and intense but it was thrilling. The pressure and stress caused alcoholism to run rampant and things went south. Then after I went to rehab and got sober, the wife left me and took the house, cash, and half of retirement. My psychotic breakdown occurred 2 years later. Now it's all over and medical device companies don't want to hire me I don't blame them.
I am so sorry. That does sound stressful and no job should make someone so stressed as to turn to alcohol. It's a really messed up world we live in. I am sorry about your wife, as well...you do not deserve what happened to you. I'm sure you're intelligent and skilled and it's a shame if other people don't see that.
Srrynotsrry said:
Never really had a job I liked. I have two degrees, and I've pretty much always been underemployed. I'm educated, but stupid, as my ex-boss used to say. Thinking about how badly people view me and my job history makes me want to ctb the most.
What other people think of you says everything about them and nothing about yourself. You certainly are not stupid.:heart:
WornOutLife said:
I used to be a nice teacher (according to my workmates and students) and had a decent salary.
Then, depression popped up and ruined my life.
I quit my job, I left my girlfriend and I isolated myself from the world.

Anyway, I really need some cash to CTB in a few months so I've started working as a teacher again. It's really hard because I have to "fake" I'm happy but it's just for some hours so, not such a big deal.
Depression will do that to ya. I feel that. What grade/subject do you teach?
 
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Bonkers

Bonkers

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
39
sadlystillgoing3 said:
I'm behind in school (changed my major so many times I lost count and left bc of health) and can't decide what tf I want to do. I don't actually want to do any job, but I kinda have to as long as I'm on this earth. I used to want to be a recreational therapist, which involved creating and leading therapeutic activities for individuals with disabilities. The fieldwork was fulfilling, but exhausting. I don't have the mental or physical stamina to do that as a career. Plus, guess what the average pay is? It's in the 40,000's, if that. Which I can't actually live on. I don't understand why there are jobs that literally do not pay you enough to fucking exist. And yes, you need a bachelor's degree for this job that often pays minimum wage.
If I could study anything and not worry about a job, it'd be anthropology or psychology. I am fascinated with the history of universe and ancient humans. So cool to me. & psychology is so interesting and I have a lot of experience with it, if you know what I mean, lol.
Anyways, so now I'm 95% decided on speech pathology. You need a master's degree and have to go through a year of clinical fellowship. The salary is alright (in the 70,000's). Lots of variety and settings. Fulfilling. It's a nice alternative to teaching bc you deal with less people at one time, it pays more, and offers more flexibility. You have to pay an annual fee of $275 to maintain credentials and also pay for CEU's, but it's not a big deal due to the salary and other aspects of the job. Grad school is insanely competitive though and lots of people end up never being able to get in. That'll probably happen to me thanks to my crippling mental illness and malnourished brain.:notsure: But I guess it's worth a shot. I would love to be able to help people speak and swallow properly because I can't imagine the pain that comes from not being able to express yourself with your voice (of course you can use sign language, but just speaking for the people who want to use their voice and can't).

Do any of you all work a job that you actually enjoy/feel passionate about at all? Did you go to college? Are you in college? Feel free to write as much as you want or vent about it. I know that being suicidal usually doesn't sit well with passions/careers/school, but I've seen a lot of forums over the years about people who find motivation to live BECAUSE of their career goals/job. I hope that happens to me..
Speech Therapy sounds like a great goal. I trained as a community nurse in my mid-40s. The job gets me up and out of bed, it's very hard work but it's rewarding and time flies when I'm there. Also I get to laugh a lot with my colleagues when we see each other. Really it's the main reason I'm still here.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
14,794
sadlystillgoing3 said:
What are the job responsibilities? Did they hire you with no experience and just a degree? Sounds up my ally
Mainly just sitting at a front desk to answer any questions students who come by may have. Before the pandemic I’d also help them sign in to use our department’s computers or to check out textbooks from the small library we have. Besides that I just had to clean up my station when I’m done and occasionally attend a meeting. I was hired two years ago before earning my degree when I just transferred to this university. It’s meant to be a student only job but now that I’ve graduated I can only stay on for one extra semester.
 
xLosthopex

xLosthopex

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
Joined
May 29, 2020
Messages
784
Yeah, sex worker
I was working as an exotic dancer before covid happened, as well as a sugar baby, but now I’m just doing the sugar dating because there’s no sign of clubs reopening in my country any time soon
I love it, it’s definitely not for everyone that’s for sure, but it just happens to suit me and the type of person I am-wild, reckless, impulsive lol (I have BPD)
 
Weary Soul

Weary Soul

Soon I will be free
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
1,166
sadlystillgoing3 said:
Oh wow. Honestly that was inspiring to read. It's amazing that you were able to become self-employed and earn that much. I'm so sorry about your assaults and injuries. Your art is a much needed light in this dark world. <3

Thank you so much. :heart:
 
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sadlystillgoing3

sadlystillgoing3

Member
Joined
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Messages
54
xLosthopex said:
Yeah, sex worker
I was working as an exotic dancer before covid happened, as well as a sugar baby, but now I’m just doing the sugar dating because there’s no sign of clubs reopening in my country any time soon
I love it, it’s definitely not for everyone that’s for sure, but it just happens to suit me and the type of person I am-wild, reckless, impulsive lol (I have BPD)
woohoo! So glad you love it. :smiling: I was nearly diagnosed BPD but I stopped seeing the psych before he formally diagnosed me, so I feel ya on that.
Bonkers said:
Speech Therapy sounds like a great goal. I trained as a community nurse in my mid-40s. The job gets me up and out of bed, it's very hard work but it's rewarding and time flies when I'm there. Also I get to laugh a lot with my colleagues when we see each other. Really it's the main reason I'm still here.
I'm sure it's extremely difficult. Nurses are the most amazing people. Thank you for serving the world in such an impactful way. Let me just say, when I was in a treatment center, the nurses were the main thing that gave me hope. They were so kind, so caring, so willing to help in any way they could. Nurses rock.:heart:
 
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NumbItAll

NumbItAll

Waiting for the bus...
Joined
May 20, 2018
Messages
363
I've never held a "real" job and have no ambition to do so. I'm too depressed and would get burned out within a couple hours. I've at least been able to make some money from betting on sports and politics, along with some other hustles, though it's not enough to make a living. Maybe if I saved up a ton of money it would be possible, but that's a long way away.
 
sadlystillgoing3

sadlystillgoing3

Member
Joined
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Messages
54
NumbItAll said:
I've never held a "real" job and have no ambition to do so. I'm too depressed and would get burned out within a couple hours. I've at least been able to make some money from betting on sports and politics, along with some other hustles, though it's not enough to make a living. Maybe if I saved up a ton of money it would be possible, but that's a long way away.
Well, I'm right there with you.:notsure: Depression really sucks.
Good4Nothing said:
I like my job. I wish i had the attention span and self discipline to work 40 hrs a week. After about 5 hours, though, I'm burned out. I could be making so much more money if I just had it in me.
Do you work everyday or part time? Do your employers know about your struggles?
 
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stygal

stygal

experiencing emotions
Joined
Oct 29, 2020
Messages
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Due to my physical illness I couldn’t major in what I intended to be: sport therapist or trainer (at a rehab center) for other disabled or injured people. That sucks but it would have been very stressful and I wouldn’t have earned a lot of money for the immense work-load you have to do (been an intern for a couple of weeks).
Then I thought about writing for the local news paper (since I like writing stories) and had an internship there too...but I didn’t get to work there, they picked another intern.
Then I got my now office job „by accident“ ...I just scrolled through employment ads and picked the one that paid the most.
Well...it’s sometimes interesting and I can’t complain about the conditions but is it the most interesting or fulfilling thing to do? No...but at this point I definitely do not want a job that puts too much pressure on me with my whole mental conditions and my physical illness it’s the ideal way of making a living.
 
H

hellodarkness

Student
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
104
I am a nutritionist, personal trainer and a competitive athlete, I love it all. My body has never been the problem, it’s always been my brain. You can’t out Diet, out supplement or out run a sick mind.
 
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
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Messages
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sadlystillgoing3 said:
Well, I'm right there with you.:notsure: Depression really sucks.

Do you work everyday or part time? Do your employers know about your struggles?
I'm a full time employee, but that doesn't mean anything since I'm not salaried and don't get insurance or any benefits.
I'm responsible for keeping track of my own hours, and I'm too stupidly honest to stay on the clock when I'm not working.
I've mentioned a couple times that I get burned out after about 5 hours, but no one seems to care. I get all my work done and the boss is saving money.
I really need to knuckle down this year and work more hours. Just one more hour a day would be another $400 a month. Money's just not a big motivator for me. It would be nice to have more money, but as much as I enjoy my job, I'm still at odds with the whole idea of working for a living. It pisses me off, frankly.
 
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P

Pallf

I'm tired
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
219
Do I have a job? Presently, no. I did have a job that I somewhat liked, but a new boss came in and upended everything and nothing I did was right and the older workers left.
Career goals? Only fantasies really. All I care about now is maybe getting a degree to make me money so I can be attractive as a potential marriage partner and also have kids. My passions are useless, which is why I need to grit my teeth and get through some kind of lucrative degree program, even if I hate it.
 
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S

Symbiote

Has left the building
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
2,651
My job keeps me sane even though the job burnout rate is much higher for other people. I work in Information security and digital forensics. The pay is good, I'm always learning things, and I'm due for a promotion soon. My wife doesn't respect my job or the money it brings in because it's not a masculine job, like construction, or police officer, etc. Fine, then she won't be part of my future then because I'm still going to keep my career and she can go fuck off with a construction worker or police officer.

I'm also a HS dropout, and I got my college degree in 2020, but chose the right profession that fits my mindset.
 
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sadlystillgoing3

sadlystillgoing3

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Feb 3, 2019
Messages
54
stygal said:
Due to my physical illness I couldn’t major in what I intended to be: sport therapist or trainer (at a rehab center) for other disabled or injured people. That sucks but it would have been very stressful and I wouldn’t have earned a lot of money for the immense work-load you have to do (been an intern for a couple of weeks).
Then I thought about writing for the local news paper (since I like writing stories) and had an internship there too...but I didn’t get to work there, they picked another intern.
Then I got my now office job „by accident“ ...I just scrolled through employment ads and picked the one that paid the most.
Well...it’s sometimes interesting and I can’t complain about the conditions but is it the most interesting or fulfilling thing to do? No...but at this point I definitely do not want a job that puts too much pressure on me with my whole mental conditions and my physical illness it’s the ideal way of making a living.
I feel the same way about my original career choice. It would've been so much stress for very little pay. Ugh..I always had a dream of being a writer. I'm sorry they didn't offer you a job. But I agree that an office job may be best for you with everything else going on.
hellodarkness said:
I am a nutritionist, personal trainer and a competitive athlete, I love it all. My body has never been the problem, it’s always been my brain. You can’t out Diet, out supplement or out run a sick mind.
OMG okay so how is being a nutritionist? Are you an RD? That's one thing I've considered because I know so much about it already and I really loved my old nutritionist (before she turned on me..lol). And so true.
Good4Nothing said:
I'm a full time employee, but that doesn't mean anything since I'm not salaried and don't get insurance or any benefits.
I'm responsible for keeping track of my own hours, and I'm too stupidly honest to stay on the clock when I'm not working.
I've mentioned a couple times that I get burned out after about 5 hours, but no one seems to care. I get all my work done and the boss is saving money.
I really need to knuckle down this year and work more hours. Just one more hour a day would be another $400 a month. Money's just not a big motivator for me. It would be nice to have more money, but as much as I enjoy my job, I'm still at odds with the whole idea of working for a living. It pisses me off, frankly.
That is really frustrating. I also wouldn't be able to lie about my hours. I'm sorry no one understands. Five hours even seems like a long time to me. I hate that our lives pretty much revolve around work. It's a major reason that i feel so sickened by humanity. Don't push yourself too hard and I hope you're able to get more hours in.
Pallf said:
Do I have a job? Presently, no. I did have a job that I somewhat liked, but a new boss came in and upended everything and nothing I did was right and the older workers left.
Career goals? Only fantasies really. All I care about now is maybe getting a degree to make me money so I can be attractive as a potential marriage partner and also have kids. My passions are useless, which is why I need to grit my teeth and get through some kind of lucrative degree program, even if I hate it.
I'm sorry about that.:notsure: Well, if you want a short program, ultrasound programs are 2 years and the salary is pretty high. I considered it--my dad is a vascular tech. It's pretty stressful but, again, it pays well and you only needs an associates! Also nursing but that's like the highest level of stress I could imagine.
Symbiote said:
My job keeps me sane even though the job burnout rate is much higher for other people. I work in Information security and digital forensics. The pay is good, I'm always learning things, and I'm due for a promotion soon. My wife doesn't respect my job or the money it brings in because it's not a masculine job, like construction, or police officer, etc. Fine, then she won't be part of my future then because I'm still going to keep my career and she can go fuck off with a construction worker or police officer.

I'm also a HS dropout, and I got my college degree in 2020, but chose the right profession that fits my mindset.
Oh my...why are jobs even considered masculine or feminine? Anyone can work any job. I freaking hate how society prescribes gender roles to every single thing. That sounds like a perfectly reasonable job for you and any person of any gender. I'm sorry she does not respect that. It sounds very interesting!! Congratulations on getting your degree!
 
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H

hellodarkness

Student
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
104
@sadlystillgoing3 its honestly an amazing job if you know how you want to use your education. I personally work with vulnerable populations (can’t really get into what population because anonymous) educating them about nutrition, cooking for them and helping to develop cooking life skills. I also have my own business doing personalized nutrition and chef work where I basically cook for my clients every day based on their goals and preferences.

I originally got in for the athletic nutrition end to be able to game my body as much as possible for competition purposes. Ended up realizing that my people (other endurance athletes) are not looking for nutrition advice much of the time- they’re running for the Fireball lol.

I’m able to see measurable change in the people I work with, and effect lives in a real way which is nice. If my brain wasn’t imploding on itself I’d be happy to do it forever.
 
signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
2,565
I used to be an accountant, and then an internal auditor. Not recommended career choices, except maybe for the money.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
994
My passion wanes. I can’t seem to rally around anything for long before it’s demystified & becomes virtually meaningless. I wanted to take psychology, & said it was because I wanted to help people so they didn’t feel like I did, though, underneath it all, I wanted to better understand myself. I’m in school (again) atm, though I’m unsure if I will graduate before I CTB.

I’ve only worked one job I was proud of, & about half way through (2yr contract) I realized I was useless to them- but I couldn’t leave because I needed the money. Aside from that, menial jobs until an injury put me on disability.
 
Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Joined
Jul 15, 2020
Messages
2,504
I don’t want to do any job, I don’t have a dream job, I don’t dream of labour. Always hated the thought of having to work all my life till I die just so I can survive. We are just making the rich richer and poor poorer. Work is so exhausting and destroys me mentally. I’m behind on school too so right now I’m studying but that’s already hard enough. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to take this. It does from one suffering to another one. School to work to grave.
 
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NumbItAll

NumbItAll

Waiting for the bus...
Joined
May 20, 2018
Messages
363
Nymph said:
I don’t want to do any job, I don’t have a dream job, I don’t dream of labour. Always hated the thought of having to work all my life till I die just so I can survive. We are just making the rich richer and poor poorer. Work is so exhausting and destroys me mentally. I’m behind on school too so right now I’m studying but that’s already hard enough. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to take this. It does from one suffering to another one. School to work to grave.
I feel the same way. I don't know how anyone can stand it, let alone enjoy it??? It's just pure misery, and for what purpose? I don't care about making enough money to survive if my existence is going to be miserable. That being said, congrats to all those who do make an enjoyable living.
 
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Nymph

Nymph

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NumbItAll said:
I feel the same way. I don't know how anyone can stand it, let alone enjoy it??? It's just pure misery, and for what purpose? I don't care about making enough money to survive if my existence is going to be miserable. That being said, congrats to all those who do make an enjoyable living.
Yeah, I wish I could enjoy working but it’s just impossible for me. I don’t want to wake up everyday and work my ass off for minimum wage. I just want to be able to exist and live without having to work everyday...work is not about doing and supporting what you love it’s supporting capitalists and huge CEOs
 
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Green Destiny

Green Destiny

Life isn't worth the trouble.
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
595
Don't enjoy my job (Although a few people I work with are nice) and I have no direction of career goal ahead of me. I've already wasted so much time it already feels too late for me.
 
N

netrezven

Specialist
Joined
Dec 13, 2018
Messages
371
Years ago, when i used to have a job. I hated it. I hated most of the people there. Now i hate them and it more.
But the time i spent there - was incredible. It was so much fun, sometimes i miss this.

Now, I work for myself, so i can't affor the question do i like it or not. It doesn't matter at all.
Anyway - most parts of me like it.
I like the pressure, the adrenaline, the results of impossible calculations and strategies. - I hate the fear some part of me gets. I hate all the stuff i can't explain and talk about.
I like when the loss is turned into a victory.
I hate when i'm wrong. I hate when i make mistakes, and i do.
Sometimes i hate when my calculations were precise and correct. - Most times i'm happy for it.
I like having impact on this shity world.- I hate when stupid people try to use me for this.
I hate when people are jelous.
I hate that no one can even imagine what all of this costs me.
I hate that no one knows what i'm working - I don't even know in 100%, because of my osdd.
I hate that my kids have nothing to say in school about my "job". - I like that i can sustain my family.
I like beeing independent. I like not to pay taxes to corrupted govs. I like to be able to go anywhere i want at any time. I like the freedom and hate everything related with control of others.
I hate when regular people can't uderstand the costs of my 5 or 15 minutes of time. - I like that i can do what i want, when i want.
I hate that i can't transfer it to anyone else. - I like that no one can take it away from me.
I like that it's going to be a story to tell for my grand kids, if i'm still alive. - Hate that i won't tell them or even my kids.
I like that even if something happens with me, whatever i desided is going to work anyway.
I like that i can fight and win against all - Hate that it's possible to happen at some point after all.
 
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