HeartbreakInStereo

HeartbreakInStereo

Restless
Jun 14, 2018
29
I mean, are you terminally ill or have no family and are all alone, do you have reasons? or you just hate living even though you have a good life?

I have a family and a lot of friends and want to kill myself soon but I don't think I'll go through with my plan until a few years later when I don't depend on my parents. Still, I feel I'd hurt so much people if I die, but living and getting older is not for me.
 
athousandsorrows

athousandsorrows

Member
Jul 5, 2018
70
I hear ya. I don't think I have a good life. I've had a comfortable life, for sure, economically speaking, though no longer. I'm old (at least in my perspective), too late to try and pursue any dreams I might have had since the careers I most enjoy are artistic and women in their 30's are considered past their prime. I don't have a job, I don't have any money or savings, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have kids. All I have are my pets. So yeah, my life isn't a fairytale, but it's also true I'm not terminally ill, I don't have chronic physical pain, and though they've been nothing but cruel and un-supportive, I do have a family.

I'm often told I have "a privileged brain", since I'm believed to be very intelligent, but I don't feel like I am. I feel rather stupid when it comes to forging meaningful relationships with people, or even with myself. I lack the know-how of daily life and the drive it takes to get up every day to do the same thing, for the same amount of money, for 20+ years until you can retire. I just can't cope with all that. So I don't feel very smart, and I feel guilty for wasting my life and my supposed intelligence in wallowing in self-pity and guilt, but it's also my built. It's like I'm just programmed to be this way, no matter how many times I've tried to change.

Circumstances for each of us will defer always, if only ever so slightly, because every person's head is completely different, every person's childhood and upbringing and life events and circumstances are different, so we can't generalize what drives a person to feeling so down in life. Good post! I like philosophizing like this.
 
wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,321
i just hate living even though I have a good life im 55 years old so after 55 years of living it came to for me to end my life 55 years of living had it so its time to die
 
EternalSanction

EternalSanction

-
Jun 7, 2018
252
It's not a terminal illness for me, I wish though I could've traded with some people I lost to these diseases.
You should not be worried to justify your reasoning, as someone has mentioned before on here: it's not a competition of who suffers the most. Being pro-choice really is enough in my eyes, decision should be up to you
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
Existence by itself provides ample enough reason to end it all. A futile game of endlessly chasing/satiating pointless needs & wants based on crude biological impulses in an empty black void of a universe? Yeah, no thanks. My life's actually not that bad all things considered despite being the ultimate hikikomori, but that doesn't make being alive any less intolerable. Point is, you don't need a reason. Wanting to die is enough in and of itself.

1166386153.jpg
 
Smilla

Smilla

-
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
I have a zillion reasons—personal, existential, environmental, moral, etc.

The list goes on. It would take me hours to list them all, and I don’t want to bore anyone with them either.

Hell yeah I have reasons.
 
T

tourmaline

Member
Jul 5, 2018
19
I think "just hating living" is a reason to die if the hatred is strong enough. I'm just tired to be honest. I've been severely depressed and somewhat passively suicidal since I was 13. Had two failed attempts in the past. 28 years old now. I've seen enough of this world to be certain that I don't belong here. I don't have what it takes to survive and I'm fucking exhausted from all the trying and fighting.
 
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M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Plenty. I have no reasons to live aside from my dog who is unlikely to live for more than a decade from now. I already listed a bunch of reasons in the previous 10 threads of this kind, so I will not repeat myself.

Good life? Please. How can someone have a good life in this goddamn awful and boring reality, in this world full of people doing evil things to other people and animals alike? Seems impossible to me. I know there is plenty of people who enjoy living in this... thing, but I don't.

I am also of the opinion that someone doesn't really need a reason to want to kill themself. If they want to die, them let them die.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I am also of the opinion that someone doesn't really need a reason to want to kill themself. If they want to die, them let them die.

Yeah, it's like, if you don't want to play a game anymore because you think the game sucks or you'd rather do something else, you just quit the game and walk away. That is basically what happens when someone commits suicide.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
I want to die because I’m trapped in a bad situation, and its really difficult to get out. I don’t have any reasonable future to look forward to. Being middle age is horrible if u had no guidance or help preparing for it. Not to mention money saved.
 
C

chemystry

Member
Jul 7, 2018
14
It makes no sense for me to want to die, honestly. I'm only 20, I'm in college on scholarship, I'm doing research I enjoy, and I have a reasonable amount of support from friends and family. But I also have BPD, and it's just been getting progressively worse for a year. Two different therapists didn't help, and neither did antidepressants. I withdrew from a lot of my friends because I didn't want to be depressing, and my best friend left me recently because I was too depressing. I just feel isolated and incurable, and I've been so suicidal for so long that it seems preferable to just give up. I don't think things are going to get better for me.
 
S

Santiago

Mage
Mar 25, 2018
588
Yes.

I am so ugly I can't go outside or do anything.

Everyone else sees this aswell and I have gotten confirmation.

I have to kill myself.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
It makes no sense for me to want to die, honestly. I'm only 20, I'm in college on scholarship, I'm doing research I enjoy, and I have a reasonable amount of support from friends and family. But I also have BPD, and it's just been getting progressively worse for a year. Two different therapists didn't help, and neither did antidepressants. I withdrew from a lot of my friends because I didn't want to be depressing, and my best friend left me recently because I was too depressing. I just feel isolated and incurable, and I've been so suicidal for so long that it seems preferable to just give up. I don't think things are going to get better for me.
Awwww
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
and women in their 30's are considered past their prime.

Men in their 30s who don't make a decent amount of money, who don't have high status in the hierarchy, who aren't married with children etc are seen as losers by society or worse. And men in their 30s, start losing a lot of hair, it's no joke... And all guys with a receded hairline look like shit. Men with a receded hairline look like creepy old men who could be serial killers or like super nerds or like orangutans. Well a lot of people will think, then shave it all off... Well most men with no hair look like walking penises or overgrown babies with huge ears. Yeah, there are some good looking men who have no hair but that's because they have a good looking face that is compatible with such a head. Every passing year since I was 28, my hairline has been receding more and more... By the time I'm 40, my hairline will have receded very far back. And if I shave it all off, I will look like a bald woman with big ears because I have a very feminine looking face. I have the face of a beautiful woman, actually... Not really a good thing if you are a man. FYI though, everything I mentioned above are very minor reasons why I want to end my life in the future. I have hundreds of better reasons to end my life. But it would take me hours and hours to list them all. The main point I'm trying to make here though is that society is cruel to both men and women in their 30s if they aren't the lucky ones. Not saying men have it worse, no way. I actually think women have it worse in their 30s if they weren't one of the lucky ones.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
Oh no that’s terrible you are so young. I do believe I have this as well, though I have not really been diagnosed. It’s ruined my life but that doesn’t mean that doesn’t mean it has to destroy yours. Do you ever get on YouTube? If so, there is tons of information on there to help guide you and steer you away from screwing up your lives. At 20 I was really depressed and then things got better in my 20’s but sadly I was making horrible life choices and u can’t really bounce back from those that easy. We didn’t have all the truth speakers to listen to when I was young and so I basically destroyed my life because I hadn’t learned what I should be aiming for in life.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
Therapists today are in it for money and most aren’t interested in helping you heal. Prescription drugs are dangerous and probably should not be used unless it’s to get u out of major depression enough to function. Otherwise I’m skeptical I’ve been on many over the years. Now I only take my ADD stuff but I want off that too.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I want to die because I’m trapped in a bad situation, and its really difficult to get out. I don’t have any reasonable future to look forward to. Being middle age is horrible if u had no guidance or help preparing for it. Not to mention money saved.

THIS x 1000000.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
Final Escape, you just posted a quote from me. But there is no response from you. Why?
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
I imagine you have had a traumatic childhood. I think it’s what causes most of the suicidality. Maybe not but strong suspicion. It’s like we have difficulty coping with life’s ups and downs. Seeing things in the proper perspective. When i’m suicidal I go into a dark mental state and it’s like difficult to reason with myself. It might be emotional flashback. A feature of complex ptsd.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
Might be accident
 
C

chemystry

Member
Jul 7, 2018
14
Oh no that’s terrible you are so young. I do believe I have this as well, though I have not really been diagnosed. It’s ruined my life but that doesn’t mean that doesn’t mean it has to destroy yours. Do you ever get on YouTube? If so, there is tons of information on there to help guide you and steer you away from screwing up your lives. At 20 I was really depressed and then things got better in my 20’s but sadly I was making horrible life choices and u can’t really bounce back from those that easy. We didn’t have all the truth speakers to listen to when I was young and so I basically destroyed my life because I hadn’t learned what I should be aiming for in life.

I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I'm pretty determined to die at this point. I know that even if I do recover to some degree, I'll have to put so much more effort into achieving a minimal level of happiness and contentment than mentally healthy people do, and if I stop putting effort in, I'll probably end up right back where I am now. I've had some periods over the past year where things felt like they were getting better, but they inexplicably went south again, every time. I'm just kinda tired of trying.