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4

406blue

Specialist
Sep 7, 2018
379
Do you have any friends or family that you can be completely honest with?

Personally I do not.
Firstly, i have seen the film le passion de jeanne d'arc, so i like your icon. The people i would find most receptive to honesty are the ones most likely to have serious emotional issues of their own and so the least likely i would want to bother with mine.
 
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deathoverlife

deathoverlife

life is fleeting.....
Oct 8, 2018
197
Do you have any friends or family that you can be completely honest with?

Personally I do not.
nope i dotn either...but there is a this very good friend of mine i keep telling him to be good to me coz you never know when i would be gone as life is so unpredictable. i also keep telling him that I have this gut feeling i would survive oct... he laughs it out so do it...but i feel good that I at least told some one in my real life about it...
 
Circles

Circles

There's a difference between existing and living.
Sep 3, 2018
1,728
No but I understand why. No one likes talking about depressing things especially in a full blown conversation. I can talk to my mother about it but it would eventually just make her sad and me feel even more pathetic. It sucks especially if suicide is all you think about and have no one to talk to about it.
 
Escargot Shorts

Escargot Shorts

Tears-of-a-Clown Ass Bitch
Sep 26, 2018
184
in regards to ctb, i've only told one person who wasn't a therapist. it was late night while drinking and after i brought up a friend of ours who had ctb just the year before and the ways that weighed on me at the time. he was pretty surprised i guess and mostly asked questions trying to understand, figuring out reasons that i myself couldn't give because i couldn't articulate them.

but in regards to other things, i'm trying to do better in just speaking honestly, at least in the sense of saying what i think more often. i have a habit of prevaricating that has at times can be seen as diplomatic, which speaks to how much i want to consider people's feelings but i think there's a definite difference between considering and fearing. and a lot of that evasive way of talking or behaving was more self-defense and feeling responsible for managing people's emotional states or anticipating responses instead of relinquishing that anxiety over control.

it's still a thing i struggle with, esp people who are very important to me (super ironic that i'm probably the most guarded with the people i'm supposed to be close with). but hopefully i'm getting there, esp to be this fortunate there are people who seemingly want to listen.
 
Tragoedia Vitae

Tragoedia Vitae

Experienced
Oct 14, 2018
224
I don't have anyone like that in my life. If I told people, they would view me as certifiably insane, or pity me (in my opinion, pity is a thoroughly useless, even destructive emotion--empathy is a different story though), or insist on shoving a fistful of platitudes & tough love cliches down my throat. Or they would utter some self-serving nonsense such as "Take responsibility for your own life and happiness!" I would be expected to simply grin and bear it despite the fact that I lack sufficient emotional and mental resources to sustain myself in this world. I simply must live, everything be damned---as for death, it's unthinkable, unallowable. I'm not allowed to take responsibility for my death at my age.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if people could actually support each other in life as well as death? If people could actually walk side by side, arms linked, to the threshold of death and back? But none of that would ever be possible in this day and age.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Illuminated
Mar 23, 2018
3,103
Not really. About some things I can but about wanting to die I can't.
I did bring it up before and they got upset.
Now I don't say anything... if I would decide to end it they won't try to stop me.
 
onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
Not exactly. I mean, I have a few close friends that will not be surprised when I ctb because of things I've said to them, but I can't directly tell them what I am planning and when I am planning it for. They would take some kind of action. Have me hospitalized, call my parents, something. They wouldn't understand that I am being rational, and would try and do something about it. I have one friend who I might be able to trust, but I don't want to risk it.
 
AndyCurious

AndyCurious

-
Sep 13, 2018
708
I wish I had that. You are very lucky.
If I told anyone I was planning on ctb I would be locked up for a while … I'm sure.
Therapy will not change my mind. I can't wait until this shit is over. :(
I may be lucky yes.. Of course they would get hurt, but still ok with it.. At least, I'm glad they understand my pain though..