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noname223

Visionary
Aug 18, 2020
2,515
Obivoulsy it would not be the main purpose for being a member on here. I even know a case where someone found a longterm partner in this forum. And I expect that more people have found a loved one in this forum. But I am not sure how high the rate is. I don't think this happens to many people.

I recently read a thread where someone described his or her intention to find someone. The person was a new member. And I could relate to it. When I was new on this website I also hoped to find a partner here. But I have lost this interest. Or at least I cannot really imagine it anymore. I think it was healthy for me to lose this interest and that I stopped to think about it. WIthout this ulterior motive I can talk more openly about my anxieties and sorrows. I don't have to care what others think about me.

I think maybe it is something which one should not try to force. Especially not in a suicide forum. The most people on here have pretty big problems and some are really vulnerable. It is normal wanting to find someone. But I personally also fear to experience the suicide of someone who is close to me. This is why I try to maintain a certain distance to members of this forum. If you have many friends on here it is not unlikely that one day some of them will kill themselves. And I am quite scared about the pain of experiencing like that. I am scared to become traumatized because I met people who could not cope with the loss.

Moreover I am paranoid as fuck about journalists. I honestly cannot trust any of one of you fully. I have some paranoid theories about this forum. Some are kind of unrealistic but for example the bugs seem suspicious for me. But it is likely I am just a really anxious mentally ill loner.

I have seen too many people in extreme agony and torture in this forum. Getting to close to someone on here could break my heart. it is kind of selfish of me. But I need this protection. Personally I hope the society will stop looking away when people collapse and reach their individual limits. The society is full of hypocrites. In my country most citizens are in favor of assisted suicide but the stupid politicians resist this wish.

To conclude on the inital topic. I think it is not a bad thing to find a loved one in such a forum. But one should not expect to find someone. Many people are too busy to handle their own problems.

There are different philosophies on the following point: some say people who experiece hell need to find someone with similar problems. Because only these people can understand and feel compassion for each other.

Other people say. 2 people with similar problems cannot work. There needs to be someone who is stable enough to handle the problems of the vulnerable partner.

Personally I am not dogmatic on any cerain approach. I think both has advatages and disadvantges. One time a crush of me said two people who are mentally ill don't fit to each other. I think this was lie of her. I was really socially awkward to that time. I wish I could meet her again and show her that I have made progess. Though she would likely be not interested in me. Despite the fact she laughed a lot about my jokes.

What is your philosphy on that? And what do you think about the dating aspect of this forum?
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Pathetic || Just keep going
Jul 1, 2020
4,873
SEARCH for? No, actually someone doing that should probably immediately get banned. Not only is this not a dating site but the high majority here aren't emotionally stable (that's why we're kinda here lol.) and that kind of state would typically make a person vulnerable.
Now if they tripped across a bf/gf situation then, yeah why not.
 
jamie_

jamie_

emotionally abused and paralysed by a narcissist
May 21, 2022
148
first problem is you dont "search" for partners. and no. it literally could not be a worse place. if you are actively looking for a date on this site you are a danger and doing the same level of preying on vulnerability as the scammers that come here with the intention to manipulate money out of people.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Wish that I was gone.
Sep 24, 2020
13,305
No, I think that relationships are for people who want to live and this is a suicide forum. The only reason why people come on here in the first place is for methods as that is the purpose of the forum after all. I don’t think that suicide forums are a good place at all, they should never have to exist as nobody should have to do suicide research on the internet, we should all be able to just exit peacefully, the society is the problem for denying us a peaceful death.
 
Ethereal Knight

Ethereal Knight

Looking for the eternal night 🌕
Jan 10, 2022
678
I couldn't make a relationship work even when paired with healthy people who were raised by good parents with secure attachment and good conditions, in houses with no mental health problems, no suicidality, no emotional abuse, no poverty, no alcoholism, no drug use, no adverse childhood conditions in general… then why would I be successful when paired with suicidal people?

plus (some) relationships make babies, and the last thing this world needs is more souls suffering the agony of sentience.
 
O

outatime_85

Experienced
May 17, 2022
299
One must keep in mind that being on a site with others who have experienced trauma creates the possibility of bonding over shared trauma.

That does not necessarily mean compatibility, though.

All that said, I am not sure finding a partner that way has the best outcomes.

My line of thinking might be wrong, and if I am, please feel free to correct me.
 
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waitingforrest

Warlock
Dec 27, 2021
763
I personally wouldn't. I know it would not last and will end in heartbreak in some way. I don't think I would take a death of a loved one well, or emotionally stable enough to maintain a relationship.

They would be many times better off finding someone else that has hopes and dreams because I know my story will ultimately end in suicide.

I don't want someone to make a future with me in it, I'm not going to be there. I'd be more happy to see them end up with someone else, and not with the ticking timebomb like me.

Not a surprise this got depressing quickly. Quickly reader! Scroll to the next post!
 
G

Guend

Member
Aug 4, 2022
19
E
No, I think that relationships are for people who want to live and this is a suicide forum. The only reason why people come on here in the first place is for methods as that is the purpose of the forum after all. I don’t think that suicide forums are a good place at all, they should never have to exist as nobody should have to do suicide research on the internet, we should all be able to just exit peacefully, the society is the problem for denying us a peaceful death.
I agree with you. I also add support between people who feel the same things. We understand each other better in this forum than other people.
 
PreussenBlueJay

PreussenBlueJay

Too short for Frederick William I’s Guards
Jan 18, 2022
205
It’s a good question. Guess it depends on the personalities of those involved. Any outright proposition should be met with skepticism but otherwise if the timetables and values of two people match then a friendship or romantic interest probably isn’t a big deal. It’s not like any of us are going to live forever.
 
osako

osako

Everything all at once
Jul 30, 2022
89
I don’t know. I guess here is as good as anyplace.
Really kind of the last thing I want atm.
I suppose if it happens, it happens.
But im definitely not looking, not irl or here.
I don’t know how much I even have to give anyone right now.
I do miss being loved, though. And more so, I miss loving someone.
 
Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
313
I don't find it very sensible, although if it has to happen by itself, without inducing it or considering it, then let it happen and that's it. Nothing can be done if it does.
But trying to find a partner intentionally in a suicide forum is very risky, because you condition the emotional well-being of both parties and condemn them to a kind of eternal suffering.

It is better to go to a specialized website where you can be honest about what is happening to you and maybe find another person who is in a similar situation to yours and also wants a relationship.

Although now that I think about it, those who are convinced could propose to ask for a section in the forum to establish friendship or sentimental relationships. That way there would be no confusion between users (if there has ever been).

No ho trobo gaire assenyat, tot i que si ha de succeïr per si sol, sense induir-ho ni plantejar-s'ho, doncs que passi i ja está. No si pot fer pas res si és així.
Però intentar cercar una parella de forma intencionada en un fórum de suicides és molt i molt arriscat, perqué condiciones el benestar emocional de les dues parts i les condemnes a una sort de patiment etern.

Es millor una web especialitzada en el que puguis mostrar-te sincer amb el que et pasa i potser trobar una altra persona que es trobi en una situació semblant a la teva i vulgui també una relació.

Tot i que ara que ho penso, els que hi estigueu convençuts podrieu proposar de demanar un apartat al fórum per establir relacions d'amistat o sentimentals. Així no hi hauria confusions entre usuaris (si es que n'hi hagut pas mai).
 
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Ethereal Knight

Ethereal Knight

Looking for the eternal night 🌕
Jan 10, 2022
678
nature is just trying to trick us into perpetuating the species, while absolutely not caring about our counsciousness and about how much pain we go through.

it's using us. we could say that we're biological slaves – or perhaps slaves of "god".
 
J

Julgran

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,025
No, this community will never function as a dating site, but I won't be surprised if people pair up, since it's a result of the familiarity effect, which means that people who are alike find something of themselves in the other people here, and may get feelings for them.

I can imagine how a dating version of SS could look like: "I enjoy long walks on the beach where I have a special tree from which I practice partial hanging" :smiling:
 
J

jermainet

Member
Aug 7, 2022
12
Maybe for people whose main cause of wanting to go is loneliness.

But I am more of a realist now, and don't think it would be very likely.

If life has beat you down beyond a certain point then you might not even be capable anymore of a relationship. Even if it did present itself to you here

Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know.

Just my own thoughts as long-term extreme loneliness is one of the primary causes I am finally dead-set i want to go.
 
Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
313
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