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throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,445
I know it's stupid but my primitive brain won't shut up about it. I hate that part of myself but nonetheless I still want to feel loved. I have never felt this love nor have I seen it anywhere. I wish I didn't feel like this but this is the thing that makes me feel lonely. At the same time it's also the thing that makes me want to stick around,false hope. How do I get rid of it?
 
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NeverEndingCircle

Member
Aug 21, 2018
14
i wish i knew. Ive had a string of crap relationships but finally found what i was looking for. That true love walked out on me with no warning 10 days ago. If i could get rid of this feeling i would! Hope you find peace
 
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Mr2004

Student
Aug 20, 2018
174
I know it's stupid but my primitive brain won't shut up about it. I hate that part of myself but nonetheless I still want to feel loved. I have never felt this love nor have I seen it anywhere. I wish I didn't feel like this but this is the thing that makes me feel lonely. At the same time it's also the thing that makes me want to stick around,false hope. How do I get rid of it?
That's not the primitive brain. The primitive brain just wants to fuck anything with a pulse. Love is like god, that human need to beleive there's something more but I 'm far too cynical for any of that nowadays
 
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boozlepuzzle

Member
Aug 14, 2018
27
I do, I yearn for love in general and the fine emotions you can find in life, it's the only thing I want out of it really, I realized most of my pressure and me not wanting to be in the world, is because the world doesn't match with my romantic expectations, I fail to blend my inner world with the outer world, and I see two options, deny my inner desires and live life opressed, or die, and I chose the second.
Freud said we have three parts, the id, that is what your being desires, the ego, that's the conscious you that's always trying to find balance between what you desire and what reality can give you, and the super-ego, in which we think ourselves at our best, getting all we desire out of reality.
I like to point that out because it called my attention when you said "I know it sounds stupid", is it the inner you, your id calling it stupid?I don't think so since you yearn for it, so you know it is stupid, because reality, or the outer world told you so.
Anyways, there's not room to psychoanalyze anyone, i hope you don't find this annoying, you can go and chase love, it is not false hope, you can be in love and you can be illusioned and you can feel like life has all the meaning (and i fucking recommend you that feeling), but sooner or later you will find despair, because that's how life is (or maybe that's just the me disillusioned with life talking)
 
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BxK

BxK

-
Aug 20, 2018
38
More than anything else, that eternal fairy tale like love. No cheating, nobody else...just between me and said woman.
God, I’m 20 now and have dreamed that same dream on replay so much of my life since I was a kid. I could work hard, hell, even work two jobs as long as I had that. Still, I know that dream has no chance, it just leads me toward despair, endless despair. But I won’t ever stop holding onto that dream, even if it does hurt.

I think so many people deserve that type of genuine love though, but it’s so hard to find...sometimes I wonder if it’s even possible in this world anymore.

Raven’s only have one partner, we should be like Raven’s. :P
 
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M

Morning Angel

Useless Broken Wings
Aug 8, 2018
619
I don’t think I could ever be loved again so unfortunately I’d have to say no I don’t yearn for it. I can only see the mistakes I’ve made in the past trying to find it. It’s a very normal desire though, not primitive or silly at all.
 
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StarDust

StarDust

Mage
Aug 21, 2018
508
It is natural, we all want to love and be loved in return. We all want that feeling of being loved so completely by another and to know that it is unbreakable and that you can fully trust in that love. Sadly, that is not the way this world works. I've come to find that it is a fairy-tale in it's own making.

Love is just a feeling, some kind of emotion. It's the only one is science that we have yet to be able to explain where it comes from. Love comes and goes like a virus. (hands you a tissue) There one moment and gone the next.

In the end, I think love is more of a connection than anything else. When we connect with someone we can feel a deep fondness for that person and when the connection is strained or frayed like anything else in this world...the connection can be lost.
 
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Sadgirl19

Member
Jul 18, 2018
21
I do. I've never felt truly loved, yet it's all I've ever wanted. I feel like life is cold and empty without it. That's probably a major personality flaw of mine, but just another reason to go; something majorly wrong with me.
 
Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
625
In the end, I think love is more of a connection than anything else. When we connect with someone we can feel a deep fondness for that person and when the connection is strained or frayed like anything else in this world...the connection can be lost.

Nicely put. One of the reasons i became depressed (18 or so years ago) was the lack of a love. Took more than a decade to find a "love" and it had diminished my depression almost entirely for 3 years. Now after 2 years alone again i'm back in the hole i was before but this time it's alot of reasons and i don't yearn specifically for "true love" although i would like for someone te be happy with me and have a good connection with. However i'm almost past having any yearning anymore.

Tldr; Would it be nice? Yes. Does it mean the world to me? Not anymore.
 
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TengoK

Member
Aug 1, 2018
95
I only embarked on m first relationship when I was 36. We were together about 4 years, though never moved in together. It was seeing each other at weekends and on work breaks. But I enjoyed it. It made me feel a bit more human, a bit more normal. But it kind of petered out. Then I fell absolutely head over heels in love with someone in early 2013, but didn't realise that from her side she considered it only a 'fling'. Screwed myself up completely and didn't blurt out my feelings until nearly 2 years later. Idiot. By now, I've been on my own (and I mean 'on my own' - as in, mostly completely alone) for so long, I'm not sure *how* I would be able to be in love with someone again. I've pretty much resigned myself to living (and hopefully dying soon) alone. I'd like to find love, but I know it's never going to happen, so I've given up on the idea.
 
StarDust

StarDust

Mage
Aug 21, 2018
508
Nicely put. One of the reasons i became depressed (18 or so years ago) was the lack of a love. Took more than a decade to find a "love" and it had diminished my depression almost entirely for 3 years. Now after 2 years alone again i'm back in the hole i was before but this time it's alot of reasons and i don't yearn specifically for "true love" although i would like for someone te be happy with me and have a good connection with. However i'm almost past having any yearning anymore.

Tldr; Would it be nice? Yes. Does it mean the world to me? Not anymore.
I can concur and understand the way you feel all too well...too damn well. It would be nice if true love was a tangible thing...not to mention attainable.
 
Kev

Kev

Student
Aug 18, 2018
124
Yes, very much so. Maybe not so much "true love" but at the least I'd like to experience affection and intimacy and the feeling of being cared about, the feeling of being wanted. My complete failure at that, despite years of effort to try and become attractive in spite of my ugly genetics, is the number one reason I want to end my existence.

Even when I barely began puberty, I had a deep yearning for love that over the years, eventually grew into an obsession; a purpose, one might say. At the same time, I realized that I was undesirable from a young age; that there were a lot of things wrong with me. In my naivety, my once optimistic self told me that all I had to do was work on myself and improve and that would be enough to attract someone. It wasn't until years later that I realized I was wrong. The process of courtship and mating is one that is so ingrained into how we are wired; it is literally our only purpose instilled in us by nature from birth. Billions of years of evolution to refine a filtering system for reproduction. And after all that time, our filtering system is designed to make sure those of us with facial features that don't quite make the right shapes to be attractive, are eliminated from the gene pool.

I've tried distancing myself from my race, whom are seen as unattractive in western society. I got really into lifting and bodybuilding for years. I make sure my clothes fit well, are stylish, and convey a high status. I take meticulous care of my hygiene, always have deodorant and a light spray of cologne on, get a haircut every month so it always looks its best. I come from money, so I have tried to display that by getting a nice place, a nice BMW, the latest and greatest technology, etc. I've spent countless hours studying how to display confidence and act in an attractive fashion. I've forced myself to attend many social events to build up a social circle and meet girls. I learned how to be articulate and well spoken. I joined a fraternity. I've pursued lucrative careers and have done very well in school to demonstrate success and capability. I learned handyman skills because they are seen as masculine and attractive. I even forced myself to get into hobbies seen as attractive, like playing basketball and learning the guitar. If I didn't have a butt ugly face, I would be the definition of a good catch. I put forth so much effort to portray an image of a put-together, confident, well rounded, well liked, capable, attractive, man.

Imagine my disillusionment when I realized that none of that mattered and that achieving my paramount biological prerogative and life's mission was mostly determined by the arbitrary shapes my nose, cheeks, eyes, lips and jaw make. It's ironic because I think besides that, I am a pretty genetically fit specimen. My physical health has always been great, my immune system is incredible, I consider myself very intelligent, I'm athletic, am naturally strong, taller than average, I have high social awareness, etc. But none of that matters because my facial features don't make those all important aesthetically pleasing shapes. Fuck. That. Shit.

I want love so, so badly. I refuse to live an existence where I can't accomplish the only goal in life that nature has dictated, simply because the metric for attractiveness is completely fucking arbitrary randomized bullshit that I can't do jack shit to change.
 
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