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Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
I hate the thought of people feeling sorry for me after I die, and thinking that I was fragile. I also hate the thought of them feeling like they could have prevented it. I hate the thought of people feeling guilty, because if they feel guilty, that means that they didn't want me to die and thought they could have prevented it. If that's the case, why would they not do anything?! Why would they wait for me to die before they acknowledged my suffering?
I really hate the thought of my body getting into the authorities possession; I would rather my body decay. I hate the thought of the police crowding the place of death and taking my body away in a body bag. I don't want them to mess with my corpse.
I despise that authorities are so intent on finding the cause of death. I'll be dead - the authorites messing with my body won't change that and will only put emphasis on the medical part which will overshadow my life and suffering.
They'll see my body, see what killed me, if they're really unsure they'd check my medical history and find out about my suicidility: it would be pretty obvious that my death was a suicide, so why would they need to examine it more and make it into a detective case? I don't want my death to be some case to solve. I want my body immediately disposed of.
I hate that they call an ambulance to take your body away - as far as I'm concerned, ambulances are for the living. Why can't people accept that a body is a body and not a person? Once a person is dead, their body is biological waste that needs to be disposed of, not something that should represent the deceased person. That's just insulting, in my opinion. To have a corpse represent someone's life.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
I like the thought of revenge, but I think my parents would ruin my death. They wouldn't understand they they've done anything wrong. I imagine them being shocked, and upset, and then after that wears off, them just thinkin of it as a tragedy that happened to them. They won't think of how much I was suffering and how I must have been scared and felt like it was my only option - they won't think it's about me. They'll think of it in terms of themselves. How it's unfair that they have to deal with.
They might feel angry and frustrated with me for making them 'have to deal with it'.

They'd just make it all about themselves. They'd look for someone or something to blame more than anything else. Probably blame me for not helping myself. I can imagine them dismissing my death as they've dismissed so many things in my life, by saying that it's a shame but that it wouldn't have happened if I'd have gotten myself help.
They'll probably think of all the times they could have sectioned me to 'save me'. Most parents would look back and think what made their kid feel that way, and what was the deciding point, but my parents will be looking back and thinking, " If I just sectioned them at such a time, this never would have happened".
My death will be all about my parents and what a tragedy it is for them and how they tried their best, and not about me at all.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
Even with all the publicity, I will be more forgotten in death than I am in life, as my parents and people who 'care about me' will overshadow my death.
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
235
I like the thought of revenge, but I think my parents would ruin my death. They wouldn't understand they they've done anything wrong. I imagine them being shocked, and upset, and then after that wears off, them just thinkin of it as a tragedy that happened to them. They won't think of how much I was suffering and how I must have been scared and felt like it was my only option - they won't think it's about me. They'll think of it in terms of themselves. How it's unfair that they have to deal with.
They might feel angry and frustrated with me for making them 'have to deal with it'.

They'd just make it all about themselves. They'd look for someone or something to blame more than anything else. Probably blame me for not helping myself. I can imagine them dismissing my death as they've dismissed so many things in my life, by saying that it's a shame but that it wouldn't have happened if I'd have gotten myself help.
They'll probably think of all the times they could have sectioned me to 'save me'. Most parents would look back and think what made their kid feel that way, and what was the deciding point, but my parents will be looking back and thinking, " If I just sectioned them at such a time, this never would have happened".
My death will be all about my parents and what a tragedy it is for them and how they tried their best, and not about me at all.

One thing is to make clear to them that they themselves are going to die. This indecency of not making an effort to understand the younger generations is a fatal flaw at present, and is going to gradually become increasingly revealed in the future. Neuroscientist Dean Buonomano has revealed a 'temporal myopia' in Homo sapiens (they aren't outfitted with an ability to perceive time accurately, which leads to them reproducing and thinking it's o.k.) Just give them a friendly reminder "enjoy your extended visit to the nursing home, mom and dad"

the whole notion of "looking back on one's life" at the end of life is a misstep: almost no one at old age is able to "look back" with any success, as their mental capacities are diminished, and they've landed themselves an elongated final present moment of bodily agony. The joke is actually on those who thought human life was "worth it" (in reality)

The human body is a very non-ideal medium for something like consciousness to exist... and it is scientifically verified that consciousness serves no special purpose, --it is well within scientific knowledge that all these evolutionary processes could take place without it: The Philosophical Zombie argument
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
235
Who's the boss? Time is the boss.

Who's the god? Entropy is god.

To all whom I've left behind: ya' can't dodge Death

...but I can use Death, to dodge both: aging & society

create my own reaper (when/where/how) > run from the reaper (which everyone who does not voluntarily take their own life, is implicitly doing)

(0:17 - 0:30) :



To the death-creator, he knows what his voluntary death is to him: time travel --to the de facto destination.

To the death-creator, he has pondered the physical parameters and settings of the haphazard, and 100% arbitrary phase-space in which he inhabits (and did not choose), and with Platonism at his side (which leads him toward the infinite) he fast-forwards to his home.

Nothingness before birth: 1
The odd Something-ness of the arbitrary human experience (carrying a fatality rate of 100%): 1
Nothingness after death: 1

2 to 1: Death is home

time is abrasive, timelessness is frictionless

modern neuroscience pegs the human brain's temporal perception of the present to be on the order of ~400 milliseconds

400 milliseconds...
 
D

Deleted_9cKnXB34QG

Mage
Jun 26, 2018
502
No, luckily I won't be here to see or experience any of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't think of my body as "me" anyway. I don't identify with this nasty sack of flesh, they can do whatever they want with it after I'm gone.
 
M

mwu14

Member
Apr 21, 2018
53
I like the thought of revenge, but I think my parents would ruin my death. They wouldn't understand they they've done anything wrong. I imagine them being shocked, and upset, and then after that wears off, them just thinkin of it as a tragedy that happened to them. They won't think of how much I was suffering and how I must have been scared and felt like it was my only option - they won't think it's about me. They'll think of it in terms of themselves. How it's unfair that they have to deal with.
They might feel angry and frustrated with me for making them 'have to deal with it'.

They'd just make it all about themselves. They'd look for someone or something to blame more than anything else. Probably blame me for not helping myself. I can imagine them dismissing my death as they've dismissed so many things in my life, by saying that it's a shame but that it wouldn't have happened if I'd have gotten myself help.
They'll probably think of all the times they could have sectioned me to 'save me'. Most parents would look back and think what made their kid feel that way, and what was the deciding point, but my parents will be looking back and thinking, " If I just sectioned them at such a time, this never would have happened".
My death will be all about my parents and what a tragedy it is for them and how they tried their best, and not about me at all.

Everything you typed is exactly how my parents would react. They feel like they're the victims, then whenever I try to leave them, they take extreme measures to make sure it doesn't happen. I'm twice your age and they're oblivious to the fact that they don't have legal ownership over me. This is why I say you have to have a back-up plan and find a way to get away from them. It gets worse.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
Everything you typed is exactly how my parents would react. They feel like they're the victims, then whenever I try to leave them, they take extreme measures to make sure it doesn't happen. I'm twice your age and they're oblivious to the fact that they don't have legal ownership over me. This is why I say you have to have a back-up plan and find a way to get away from them. It gets worse.
I guess my back-up plan, is that if I get to the tracks and don't feel able to end it, I'll just keep walking, maybe get a bus or train somewhere. I've read that the police aren't supposed to be able to force you to go back at 16. I'll just have to hope that that's true; they say they can if someone's in danger on the streets and they might claim that I am because autorities know that I'm suicidal.
I shoukd think that I'd force myself to step on the tracks if I didn't feel able to, though. But who knows.
Sometimes I feel like it would be a lot better to cbt when I'm an adult, because I'd be estranged from my parents then and they likely wouldn't ruin my death, then. And, I wouldn't have them to stop me.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Everything you typed is exactly how my parents would react. They feel like they're the victims, then whenever I try to leave them, they take extreme measures to make sure it doesn't happen.
Yes yes yes this so much. They think they are victims, they are the whole day attacking and insulting me like if I was the devil. That fucking pro-lifers made me and now they deny me any exit. This is a crime.

No matter how I suffer, they never helped, they never cared but still, I should be grateful according with them... I commited the mistake years ago of telling them my death thoughts as a form of cry of help... and they only called me LAZY AND STUPID. Shit shit shit.

And when I die, they will blame me too and calling me selfish monster. FUCK THIS SO MUCH. I'm over the legal age abd they treat me as a 5 years old problematic kid, trying to preserve the childhood THEY SNATCHED ME.
 
M

mwu14

Member
Apr 21, 2018
53
Do you think they'll still try to stay involved when you're 18 though? I still got calls from my mom everyday when I was in college. Your second option, getting a bus or train somewhere sounds a lot more preferable and something I would've done if there were buses or trains where I live. I had the money saved and everything, but I live in the middle of nowhere. Also means authorities have nothing better to do if my mom gets into one of her crazy moods and decides to dial their number over minor disagreements.
 
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Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
Do you think they'll still try to stay involved when you're 18 though? I still got calls from my mom everyday when I was in college. Your second option, getting a bus or train somewhere sounds a lot more preferable and something I would've done if there were buses or trains where I live. I had the money saved and everything, but I live in the middle of nowhere. Also means authorities have nothing better to do if my mom gets into one of her crazy moods and decides to dial their number over minor disagreements.
I'd imagine that they'd want to stay in touch, but I don't have a phone currently and don't plan on getting another, so they wouldn't be able to call me. Unless I lived to 18 and they decided to get me a new phone before then. But I'd ignore their calls.

My grandma's in a nursing home and her house is empty; it's my mum's and aunt's now. My dad said that he'd only help me to move out once I'm 18, and mentioned my grandma's home as a possibility, if my mum bought full ownership of it. If that were to happen, they'd know where I live and it would be very close to them - they'd definitely visit.
I'd definitely take that option if it were an option, despite that, because I'd live to have my own detatched home. But it seems very, very unlikely. They're talking about selling it.
I'd probably move a few hour's drive away from them, and they wouldn't know where I am. If I reach eighteen, I won't be in college aymore so they won't be contacted about me that way. It'll be universoty or unemployment, more likely the latter. They will have no way of keeping in touch with me.
 
Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
384
My cousin has abondoned the family for his rich wife. My mum wrote a poem about his abondonment. Wrote about him leaving a void, and how could he do that when his mother loves him? They don't take 'betrayal' well.
 
sadak_the_wanderer

sadak_the_wanderer

An appropriate painting
Mar 19, 2018
243
Yeah, this is my big hangup. I would have done it all earlier if not for the aftermath. My work in this area has been to minimize the impact of my death.

The body thing, yes, I get that too. Nobody wanted to see me naked while I was alive; why should they get to see me that way now that I'm dead? However, I came to terms with the lack of dignity in my life, it's just what I expect now. Existing is just a series of small degradations and minor humiliations to be endured and this continues after death.
 
GoingSoonish

GoingSoonish

It is what it is
Aug 19, 2018
126
I like the thought of revenge, but I think my parents would ruin my death. They wouldn't understand they they've done anything wrong. I imagine them being shocked, and upset, and then after that wears off, them just thinkin of it as a tragedy that happened to them. They won't think of how much I was suffering and how I must have been scared and felt like it was my only option - they won't think it's about me. They'll think of it in terms of themselves. How it's unfair that they have to deal with.
They might feel angry and frustrated with me for making them 'have to deal with it'.

They'd just make it all about themselves. They'd look for someone or something to blame more than anything else. Probably blame me for not helping myself. I can imagine them dismissing my death as they've dismissed so many things in my life, by saying that it's a shame but that it wouldn't have happened if I'd have gotten myself help.
They'll probably think of all the times they could have sectioned me to 'save me'. Most parents would look back and think what made their kid feel that way, and what was the deciding point, but my parents will be looking back and thinking, " If I just sectioned them at such a time, this never would have happened".
My death will be all about my parents and what a tragedy it is for them and how they tried their best, and not about me at all.

Your parents are identical to mine.
 
C

cinderslightly

Member
Aug 21, 2018
5
I do worry and it's why I've always avoided quicker methods - jumping/hanging. The thought that I must care enough about them to think that has also given me a bit of hope to hang onto but now I feel I just need to ensure the news is passed on the right way so there's no other damage.
 
Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
235
And mine too.

I've got some redemptive news for you and all those who reject the two roots that spawned them: your parents (just like every individual's) are completely arbitrary, --that is to say that no one chooses their parents. Some parents are merely more tolerable than others, but since they are not chosen they are akin to a sort of slave-master (if not essentially equivalent). Many human brains arbitrarily assign significance/relevance to their respective parents, when in fact, their parents are merely a random pair of human apes (just one pair out of multiple billions of pairs, living and/or dead)

Another prominent empirical observation is the physical laws of this haphazard slice of universe: the tendency is toward disorder (-1). While it may be asking a bit much for things to naturally get better (+1, one height of state of being to the next with every succession being better than the last), it is not too much to ask for physical laws (as shown in various multiverse theories) which would render the world simply not get worse (0), so construction would be possible.

I've found there is in fact a novel, undiscovered a priori argument against existence as a conscious individual in this particular phase-space (universe), due to the inherent abrasiveness; the main reason why Homo sapiens still exist is due primarily to an evolutionary neurological illusion known as 'temporal myopia' (a term coined by neuroscientist Dean Buonomano, to describe the phenomena of flawed temporal perception in Homo sapiens)



 
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Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
I've got some redemptive news for you and all those who reject the two roots that spawned them: your parents (just like every individual's) are completely arbitrary, --that is to say that no one chooses their parents. Some parents are merely more tolerable than others, but since they are not chosen they are akin to a sort of slave-master (if not essentially equivalent). Many human brains arbitrarily assign significance/relevance to their respective parents, when in fact, their parents are merely a random pair of human apes (just one pair out of multiple billions of pairs, living and/or dead)

Another prominent empirical observation is the physical laws of this haphazard slice of universe: the tendency is toward disorder (-1). While it may be asking a bit much for things to naturally get better (+1, one height of state of being to the next with every succession being better than the last), it is not too much to ask for physical laws (as shown in various multiverse theories) which would render the world simply not get worse (0), so construction would be possible.

I've found there is in fact a novel, undiscovered a priori argument against existence as a conscious individual in this particular phase-space (universe), due to the inherent abrasiveness; the main reason why Homo sapiens still exist is due primarily to an evolutionary neurological illusion known as 'temporal myopia' (a term coined by neuroscientist Dean Buonomano, to describe the phenomena of flawed temporal perception in Homo sapiens)




This is interesting. Thanks for sharing it.
 
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A

alwaystired96

Member
Aug 24, 2018
33
The thought of my husband finding my body. I don’t want to traumatize him.
 
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2ISAB

2ISAB

Member
Aug 24, 2018
11
No. Seeing (and participating) in the process of the aftermath' , I know that most of the crying and hysterical laughter is part of the shock and nothing more.

The suffering only comes in and out in bursts. So it's manageable.

I also have lurked her long enough to realize that most people can't seem to find the easiest and sure way to *gulp*

They won't care because they are not emotionally attached people, like me.