S

Santiago

Mage
Mar 25, 2018
588
Basically that is why I want to die. I am so fucking ugly that life feels pointless to me. I can't even go outside at all.

I got diagnosed with BDD (aka Body Dysmorphic Disorder) which apparently distorts your view of yourself. However I don't believe this shit at all in my case. I am disgusting.

And please save me the 'just take care of yourself etc' advice. I do all these things. I take great care of myself but some people were just not born to be accepted by society. I am posting here because I am expecting all of you to understand where my mind is at instead of talking about how I actually look.

It's also funny that everywhere you read it doesn't matter. It obviously does and everybody knows it. You don't get treated the same.

Imagine waking up every day and hating what you see and who you are and not being able to do a single damn thing about it.

I am so tired of this battle.

/rant
 
T

tMartin

Member
May 28, 2018
33
Yes, this is the main reason. The thing that hurts the most is the fact that it's not my faut. I would accept to feel sad for problems like gambling or drug abuse, but i didn't decide to be ugly, and since an ugly person can't get loved i think that it's normal to think about suicide in our situation.
 
wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,322
  • yes I want to die.my body is so ugly but want to die from a lot more then that like i hate life to and want to end it
 
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BellaKAT

BellaKAT

Student
May 20, 2018
172
part of the reason my health issues feel so debilitating is the way it affects my looks, it really changes the way i experience life.
 
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Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
278
I think I´m ugly and it´s a part of the puzzle the makes me wanna die. It´s interesting there more men answered to this thread
 
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M

Mopey

Member
May 24, 2018
22
Yea I'm a guy too. it sucks man. It's weird because this is one of the things I find it hard to "come to terms with".

I don't mean "come to terms with" along the lines of living despite being ugly. I mean, when it comes to my academic mediocrity or financial situation etc I can always sort of accept it and be like "it's fine, I fucked up, I'll just kill myself and it'll be okay, no pain". But with my looks... anytime I think of them I just get really frustrated, anxious, ANGRY, "WHY GOD, WHY MAKE ME THIS, FUCK YOU!".

It makes it hard to get in the peaceful mindset I want to be in when I off myself... :(

Anyone else feel the same way?
 
sadak_the_wanderer

sadak_the_wanderer

An appropriate painting
Mar 19, 2018
243
I would say that, insofar as it has been a contributing factor to my lifelong loneliness, that my looks would have at least a secondhand role in my decision. I've had a cosmetic procedure to -- temporarily -- ameliorate the damage caused by my disorder, but that only lasts so long and can only do so much. Someone has to hold up the left side of the bell curve, I guess. Tag, you're shit.
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
I don't like how I look but mostly because I'm overweight. If I dropped 30 lbs, I could be average. It's my charming personality that does me in. I don't have an ugly outside, just an ugly inside - like a reverse Shrek, if you will, and I make his cantankerous attitude toward strangers look positively civil.
 
U

uglyzuko

Member
May 7, 2018
31
Yup, this is my primary reason. I feel like if I were beautiful, I would either not be as depressed or wouldn’t be depressed at all. I suspect I have BDD as well.
 
deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
My looks make no difference, they are not that terrible, as with many things (relationships, real life) the problem is that I am a complete loser (I don't really care about not being a loser).
 
L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,864
I don't care about looks and how everyone cares about looks. I've reached the idea that society and how everyone thinks is superficial and not related to the person himself. I think the inside is a very different thing than outside but people will judge based on the outside. Personally, I don't think my outside represent me and nobody knows my inside.

So why to be in a world where everyone judges based on looks and never understands you, and when the looks doesn't match what they want, you'll get less or no chances and your life will be worse. People are inherently superficial I think.

I wrote here about problems of life theoretically including the problem of looks:
https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/when-the-problem-with-life-is-life-itself.133/
 
F

FakeNews

Student
Apr 30, 2018
150
Im baffled that there are people who still try to deny that being good looking fixes everything in life.
I am ugly myself and its the sole cause of my misery, if I could somehow become average my life would become ideal

Please have empathy for those who are different than you. There are no silver bullets in life - nothing that fixes everything. To think so is being selfish and myopic.
 
alizee

alizee

Arcanist
Jul 22, 2018
455
Ugliness is valid for suicide if you value beauty.

Society is counterproductive with the hogwash indoctrinated at a young age of just accept how you look and it's on the inside that matters. People who have money spend countless hours with cosmetic surgeons for aesthetics and they benefit greatly in life because of the enhancements received from the procedures.

Heck I've seen countless industries where intelligence isn't even necessary anymore. People just require social connections and likability. The majority of people never even produce a product or service that improve quality of life. In any case suicide when you actually fit ugly standards with nobody interested in you or people avoid you can be enough for your life to be just a long drawn out life of misery. I would rather be in a society that cared about the aesthetics of everybody, not in secret but openly and made sure everyone could look desirable where surgeries were considered necessary for the health.
 
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X

xiaomingdie

-
Apr 8, 2019
47
Ugliness is valid for suicide if you value beauty.

Society is counterproductive with the hogwash indoctrinated at a young age of just accept how you look and it's on the inside that matters. People who have money spend countless hours with cosmetic surgeons for aesthetics and they benefit greatly in life because of the enhancements received from the procedures.

Heck I've seen countless industries where intelligence isn't even necessary anymore. People just require social connections and likability. The majority of people never even produce a product or service that improve quality of life. In any case suicide when you actually fit ugly standards with nobody interested in you or people avoid you can be enough for your life to be just a long drawn out life of misery. I would rather be in a society that cared about the aesthetics of everybody, not in secret but openly and made sure everyone could look desirable where surgeries were considered necessary for the health.
How old are you?
Do you wish to die because ugly?
 
KadathianStr1d3r

KadathianStr1d3r

Shattered Mannequin
Nov 21, 2018
233
About up to a certain extent yes but ultimately no. I do however rsent my looks greatly and I have been getting back into self harming recently too so I might as well start carving my face up to further drive myself if possible to ctb in the near future.
 
JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
998
Yes, partly. Ugliness has become a disability for me except without the pity you get from being disabled. I can't have social interactions because of my looks. I've been called ugly my whole life by my peers and strangers. It's what has lead me to being completely ostracized and alienated, along with my non-existent social skills. I isolate myself from others so they don't have to see me. I only wish I didn't. It's gotten to the point where I brush my teeth in the dark so I don't have to see my reflection. Nothing is worse than waking up from a dreamlike state and being brought back to reality from my god awful reflection looking back at me. I die even more inside and go back to bed.

 
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ExhaustedPigeon

ExhaustedPigeon

“Not now, Mom! I’m suicidal!”
Apr 24, 2019
7
Yes. I don’t ever show any skin apart from my hands and neck area. I wish I could hide my face as well.

My appearance — and the fact that I’ve always known that I will always be alone due to my appearance — was my main reason for wanting to die while I was a child and a teenager. In my 20s, physical health issues and a couple of realisations with regards to my upbringing / family situation became equally important reasons, and they still are.

But yes. Living 30+ years always being the hideous one is extremely painful. And I want it to end.
 
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housecat

housecat

Member
Apr 5, 2019
86
No. It's nice to be attractive, and it's certainly not without value, but it doesn't really mean anything; it is no achievement, and is probably one of the least important aspects of ourselves. The way that society shapes our minds makes it difficilt not to care about "beauty", but I want to live with the innocence of a child who runs around naked and doesn't care what they look like. The societal pressure to feel the need to look perfect at all times above all else is completely absurd. Especially when considering that what's deemed attractive varies because of societal standards and expectations. (I will admit to being fortunate to have good teeth and not be disfigured, but people don't deserve hate for those things either).