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sundress

waste of life and space
Joined
Aug 30, 2021
Messages
13
I don't think life is for me. I've always been very dumb and asocial. I have very few social skills and an even lower social battery. I don't think I can excel in any career, yet that's the only thing I would want to do if I was alive. I would want to be able to start a company and become very successful; however, as the evidence corroborates I'm probably not capable of that.

So, I don't know if I should give up or not, and I need to make a decision soon.


Thanks for reading.
 
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timf

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
468
Your comment about being "successful" in a career caught my eye. When I got out of the Army 50 years ago, I went to work for a big corporation. I noticed that I could get along with about 80% of the workers, 60% of the first line supervisors, and about 25% of the department managers. I concluded that "success" would require advancing among the ambitious, greedy, vain, and others of low character. This was not an environment I would prefer and decided to chose a different path than "success".

Even in the social sphere what is defined by banter, and skill at schmoozing seems only to mask the relational poverty of our society at large. Those who lack skill swimming in these waters or for one reason or another find themselves on the fringe, are in an interesting position. From this vantage one can observe those others who also do not fit well into the modern social milieu. This is a perspective that allows one the freedom to identify and help some of the others.

The homogenizing effect of TV and school have presented us with a monolithic view of society. however, there is greater diversity than we have been led to believe. If we find it difficult to connect with or advance in the world that has been described to us, we may find that operating as an independent agent allows opportunities of which we were previously unaware.

Once we can shed the idea that we need to find a place in a world that doesn't fit us, we can begin to build our own place and it can actually be enjoyable. If you have a dream about your own business, you might want to make sure it is based on what you enjoy. Since most businesses fail, a lack of success will not rob you of what you like. You might want to avoid the trap of seeing money as the measure of success or worth.

There are powerful forces of collectivism that work against the individual competing in the marketplace with a product or service. However, this is not new. Even in medieval times if one choose to work outside of a guild, they would face serious trouble.

If you desire to start a business, you may first select the type of business you enjoy and then get a job working for someone doing that business. From the inside you can learn all sorts of valuable information that can improve your chances of success should decide to go it alone.
 
threesummers

threesummers

Paragon
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
945
sundress said:
I don't think life is for me. I've always been very dumb and asocial. I have very few social skills and an even lower social battery. I don't think I can excel in any career, yet that's the only thing I would want to do if I was alive. I would want to be able to start a company and become very successful; however, as the evidence corroborates I'm probably not capable of that.

So, I don't know if I should give up or not, and I need to make a decision soon.


Thanks for reading.
Being an entrepreneur isn't for you. That doesn't mean give up, it means accepting your limitations, and working within those bounds. If you are asocial, and lack social skills, then a skilled position is better for you. Think programmer, architect, engineer.
 
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everydayiloveyou

Arcanist
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
405
threesummers said:
Being an entrepreneur isn't for you. That doesn't mean give up, it means accepting your limitations, and working within those bounds. If you are asocial, and lack social skills, then a skilled position is better for you. Think programmer, architect, engineer.
Programmers, architects, and engineers need social skills. Asocial/socially anxious (software) engineers may get jobs but they they'll have a hard time keeping them.

Similarly with any art/design-related career, you won't get far at all if you don't have social skills. Creative industries rely heavily on interpersonal skills -- communicating an idea to your teammates, marketing yourself as a freelancer, networking to get your next job.

However OP, that doesn't mean life isn't for you. Why do you think you're dumb and what subjects do you struggle with?

I worked in software engineering and I'm horrible at math, I'm also a generally clueless/foolish person. I have social anxiety disorder too, it's the reason I gave up my dream of being an animator. But I got hired to code anyways, and I didn't get fired halfway.

Everyone has skills. Your skill can even be that you are enthuastic and willing to learn something. Or being nice and agreeable. If you have literally no skills at all, then considering the fact you can come onto SS and figure out how to make a post, you definitely have the skill of learning to some capacity, and you can gain some skill. Maybe a trade, maybe finance, or a craft. perhaps you'll discover that you have a talent for breeding axolotls or teaching people how to juggle.

If you have a dream, hold onto it and see what you can do to stay close to it. Maybe you won't be a bazillionaire who goes on the cover of some trendy startup magazine. But you could someday run a freelance one-man business, and gain a lot of success and respect in your community.
 
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