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Oyashiro-sama

Student
Aug 16, 2018
170
Agreed. I spend most of my time eating tiny bits of unhealthy food to feel better. It works less and less as I overuse the tactic, but I can't stop that now, or else I'd break down completely.

Dopamine pure and hard.
 
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Reactions: Soon4me and RM5998
Lunar

Lunar

Student
Aug 14, 2018
189
Anhedonia makes this really difficult. I listen to music and have trouble remembering what I've just listened to, watch movies and shows and they might as well be still frames, food I eat because it's there and so forth. I think honestly the only thing that provides me with temporary relief is hurting myself (the release of endorphins), but I'm doing it so much now that I have to keep doing more and more to feel it. I feel like I'm that desperate to try and escape from my own head even if it's only for a second.
 
weedoge

weedoge

Banned
Jul 12, 2018
1,528
I spend most of my time depressed, and in some moments, for a few minutes I feel a lot of euphoria with very simple stimuli like music or any nonsense, does it happen to you too?
Yeah, I don't really get it with food like other people, although I do still comfort eat if I'm able. Never normally have enough stuff to snack on for it to make me feel good. I'm usually hungry tbh. but with music and movies I'll get bursts of emotion lol.
 
Slayer

Slayer

Member
Sep 13, 2018
47
I randomly laugh out loud when I think of something funny. It happens for years.
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,206
Anhedonia makes this really difficult. I listen to music and have trouble remembering what I've just listened to, watch movies and shows and they might as well be still frames, food I eat because it's there and so forth. I think honestly the only thing that provides me with temporary relief is hurting myself (the release of endorphins), but I'm doing it so much now that I have to keep doing more and more to feel it. I feel like I'm that desperate to try and escape from my own head even if it's only for a second.

I started using a more blunt knife because I discovered that it would itch more, and there would be a longer period of scratching at my arm in between periods of me cutting it up. I've started sticking to wearing full-sleeved t-shirts now, although it's unlikely people will notice if I don't do that.

I've started engaging with movies intellectually instead of emotionally. There was a time when the ending of Inside Out would fill me with a surge of joy and sadness (pun intended), and now all I can think about is the way the story is paced and what it wants to elicit in me. I still like the movie, and am able to appreciate stuff that I didn't before (like the Chinatown reference), but it's like the movie can't make me feel anything - and I'm pretty sure it isn't because of familiarity, because I'd seen the movie more than a few times before, and it had had the same impact on every viewing. It makes analyzing film easier (and thus makes watching stuff like 2001, Melancholia and Enter the Void easier), but there's a lot of times that I think that I'd rather have the ability to feel the way I felt before.