Weebster

Weebster

Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty.
Mar 11, 2022
1,691
I had a daydream of being mid-fall after having jumped. I accepted it and then the reality hit me, and I became afraid that I was moments from crashing into the earth never to be me again.

I think these are clues into how i’d actually experience ctb.
 
αmber

αmber

Earth is not my home
Oct 25, 2021
87
I've had dreams like this one you had. I remember regretting jumping while I was mid-air. Maybe that is SI kicking in even in dreams. I assume it is natural to regret it once you're actually at the point of no return.
 
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S

Smart No More

Enlightened
May 5, 2021
1,845
That's exactly how falling is likely to feel. It's just instinct. I think, if I were going to go with a fall/jump, I might like to do it backwards. That way you don't anticipate the impact like you might as you watch it rushing towards you. I think ideally I'd like to do it from a plane. Ivm aware of the complexity of that, its just a best case scenario, 'what if' thing. Never going to happen.

Whilst some have survived failed parachutes it's pretty rare. Apparently though, if your body is limp as you hit the ground it does less damage than if you tense up. I doubt studies have been done but there are mathmatical and scientific reasons for the belief along with a few accounts that back it up however I don't think a few accounts really count as scientific evidence. Too many variables but as a working theory, fair enough.

I think those of us genuine in our unlimate intentions to ctb have thought about the act in detail. The questions around micro managing the event and method are testiment to that.
 
user91342

user91342

Waiting for the bus
May 20, 2022
74
Dont have to imagine. I felt peaceful and ready for it to be over. Sadly it didnt work that time (ran out of gas) but it will next time.
 
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Weebster

Weebster

Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty.
Mar 11, 2022
1,691
I've had dreams like this one you had. I remember regretting jumping while I was mid-air. Maybe that is SI kicking in even in dreams. I assume it is natural to regret it once you're actually at the point of no return.
So everyone who’s conscious til the end of their ctb experience regrets it just before?
That's exactly how falling is likely to feel. It's just instinct. I think, if I were going to go with a fall/jump, I might like to do it backwards. That way you don't anticipate the impact like you might as you watch it rushing towards you. I think ideally I'd like to do it from a plane. Ivm aware of the complexity of that, its just a best case scenario, 'what if' thing. Never going to happen.

Whilst some have survived failed parachutes it's pretty rare. Apparently though, if your body is limp as you hit the ground it does less damage than if you tense up. I doubt studies have been done but there are mathmatical and scientific reasons for the belief along with a few accounts that back it up however I don't think a few accounts really count as scientific evidence. Too many variables but as a working theory, fair enough.

I think those of us genuine in our unlimate intentions to ctb have thought about the act in detail. The questions around micro managing the event and method are testiment to that.
If I fell back, I’d feel compelled to take a peek so as to be aware of the landing. Giving into an ocd compulsion would be my last action lol so cruel
 
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ihopethisispainless

ihopethisispainless

Member
Feb 23, 2022
55
I had a daydream of being mid-fall after having jumped. I accepted it and then the reality hit me, and I became afraid that I was moments from crashing into the earth never to be me again.

I think these are clues into how i’d actually experience ctb.
I think about this every day. I plan on hanging and I’m very conflicted about how I imagine this will feel. I’m hanging in such a way that I won’t occlude my trachea but will still Constrict arteries so it won’t really hurt but I question if this would feel good? (it feels a bit like whipits) will I be scared? Will I ultimately be able to bring myself to hang? I also plan on being more plastered than ever in my life. Will it just feel like the grand finale to a big drug bender? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
 
lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,174
I'd wanna feel excited and a bit euphoric.

Too bad I can't take drugs with n.
 
Brianiskillingme

Brianiskillingme

Slowly Dying Inside
Jan 18, 2022
106
My final thoughts will be.........you (Brian) should have appreciated me. Now my depression and BPD can die with me.
 
☆AwaitingEntropy☆

☆AwaitingEntropy☆

Snuffing the Light Out
Nov 6, 2021
129
I have dreadful repeating intrusive thoughts, so my fear is my last thought will be one of those. Something awful and unpleasant.

I genuinely don't want that, though. I'd much rather my final thoughts be one of peace, but I'm scared my hellish brain won't let me have that.
 
S

Smart No More

Enlightened
May 5, 2021
1,845
Is that true?? Why? Even weed?

Sure it’ll still feel nice tho
You can smoke weed before taking N. It's fine. It's suggested as an antiemetic in the pph but that's pushing it a bit. It does have those properties for sure but obviously if you're not used to it there's the chance it could cause vomiting. Odd that huh? I've never experienced that but seen it cause a 'whitey' in some. If you use weed regularly you're perfectly fine getting high pre-N.
 
brokensoulsdiealone

brokensoulsdiealone

Forever Dead Inside
Apr 24, 2022
18
Are dreams don't allow us to feel what we haven't felt in real life. that's why you feel back on earth I'll say one thing I hope I don't do much thinking or feelings at all . when i CTB hope it goes as planned that's all I would hope .
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
12,392
I will probably just be hoping that this is the end. I think that if I had the option of a peaceful and reliable exit, I would feel calm about everything and would be glad that this life is coming to an end. Since, I do not have that, my last moments will likely just be suffering, if I could actually bring myself to ctb. The fear of failure is what holds me back. I believe that we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. Death should not be so unnecessarily horrible. It is awful feeling trapped in this world.
 
exhausted888

exhausted888

waiting in the dark
Jun 21, 2022
19
That's exactly how falling is likely to feel. It's just instinct. I think, if I were going to go with a fall/jump, I might like to do it backwards. That way you don't anticipate the impact like you might as you watch it rushing towards you. I think ideally I'd like to do it from a plane. Ivm aware of the complexity of that, its just a best case scenario, 'what if' thing. Never going to happen.

Whilst some have survived failed parachutes it's pretty rare. Apparently though, if your body is limp as you hit the ground it does less damage than if you tense up. I doubt studies have been done but there are mathmatical and scientific reasons for the belief along with a few accounts that back it up however I don't think a few accounts really count as scientific evidence. Too many variables but as a working theory, fair enough.

I think those of us genuine in our unlimate intentions to ctb have thought about the act in detail. The questions around micro managing the event and method are testiment to that.
I've gone skydiving three times and each time I've had to hold on to the strut of the plane, look at my jump master until he gave me the thumbs-up, then let go. It's terrifying. In no way do I consider free-falling to my death -- no matter which way I'm facing, and you have to position your body in a certain way to keep it from tumbling over and over -- a preferable method. Too much time, even in seconds, to think and to be terrified.
 
September5th

September5th

I miss you and I miss being happy as well
May 17, 2022
222
I would cry and reflect upon what a piece of shit I truly am and how I wasted my life away, pushed others away and did nothing with it.
I would then probably drink the shit and be a bit happy with the peace I was going to experience.
 
friendofbirds

friendofbirds

Member
Jun 6, 2022
50
i have daydreams about ctb but then every time i get caught. i cant even enjoy death in my dreams