Jun 9, 2022
I have acquired everything needed for my exit. I won't be doing it for now because I have a few more promises to keep. Oddly enough I do not feel any fear or relief. Just regret. I have a lot of regrets and I am fairly certain that the trend will continue into the future which is why I am going through with this. I am not talented or strong willed enough to live each day without any regrets. Till now I maintained myself quite well(except for a short stint of smoking in my early teens) thinking that being healthy and working towards something will help me achieve some meaning in life or if I'm lucky... Maybe find happiness. I can't especially since the things I want are out of my grasps permanently and the thought of going through life without obtaining them is excruciatingly painful. Compared to the pain and misery some people on this forum goes through my reasons are pathetic, but everyday the burden on me keeps increasing and I can feel my legs buckling under the pressure.

Sorry for the vent. I think I am experiencing some odd form of catharsis.

These are the details on my SN, can someone confirm if this is enough?


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She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
I do not think that there is such a thing as a pathetic reason for ctb, as after all we all have different limits as to what we can cope with in life and no one needs a reason for ctb anyway, it is a personal decision when to leave this world. I know that it is hard to carry on when things just get worse. I do not know anything about SN personally, but I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
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